Do you watch porn?

[RadandMad]

I've been reading a convo on Twitter where several people are claiming - including a woman - that women watch porn as well as men. My first reaction is, this isn't true. Sure, I've watched it from time to time, usually in the company of men, but it's so boring, so divorced from real sex/real bodies, that I'd almost rather do anything else.

Am I wrong? I realise I'm asking a group of women who are probably going to have a more cynical view of pornography, but I'm having a hard time believing women have a porn habit even remotely comparable to men's.

Any legitimate activity that cannot be distinguished from abuse, or that hides abusers and gives them a cover story is a problem. If your argument is 'you can't tell if its abusive', then your argument is not convincing me to get involved. Just the opposite.

Porn and prostitution drive the multi billion dollar trade in human trafficking. Until the industry can work out how to remove the exploitation, I'll continue to not support it with a clear conscience.

//// This.

Anyone of our daughters could end up on PornHub very, very easily and there's little they'll be able to do about it.

@Justhadathought

Pornography, thus, is a source of experimentation and education (Albury, 2014) for women. Our informants have learnt a lot about female sexuality, its experiences and its limits through porn, and it enabled them to develop a sexual repertoire and to discover different sexual techniques (Parvez, 2006)

Yes, but for what end? What exactly is being learned? What is being reinforced?

I suspect those details are in the full article ... I just copied and pasted the synopsis

Maybe 'Women like porn just as much as men'? Any suggestions

Most people who post on the women's rights boards tend to be interested in the analysis and examination of issues; tending to take a more over-arching perspective when trying to understand what drives people.

What does 'like' mean? For example. Where do certain sorts of desires arise from, and how?

I honestly think on MN your responses would be skewed towards a negative view of porn, no matter which part of the site you post on. But that's just my hunch.

You would hope so, considering that this site is predominantly used by women.

Yes, I watch porn and I’m the main porn watcher in our relationship; DH doesn’t really watch it though I wouldn’t mind if he did.

@Justhadathought

To be honest, I used to love sex and be very sexual when younger - but always what some might call very 'straight' or 'vanilla' sex. That was all I wanted, needed or desired.

I'm no longer sexually active , and I'm frankly glad it is all over. Sex seems to have become a devouring monster in our culture; and it probably always was, and always had the potential to become as such.

Beneath the sex drive lie all sorts of vaguely articulated needs and desires, and many of them quite frankly self destructive, masochistic or sadistic: more about recreating past trauma, or seeking to relieve some past trauma, than about love or simple pleasure.

I completely respect your choice not to have sex any more.

However, I find your view of sex in general as a "self destructuve indicator of past trauma" deeply sad. I have no deep rooted past trauma linked to sex but I have a very high sex drive and enjoy "non vanilla" sex.

I dont personally like porn because I find it to be almost cartoon like in its stupid portrayals of sex.

But I love sex itself and I find it quite sad that you find so many nefarious motives behind it. Theres nothing wrong with having a healthy sex life and there can be so many life affirming benefits to it including intimacy, love, trust, desire, orgasm, release of certain chemicals in the brain, even touch increases the efficacy of our immune system. So many positive benefits to sex.

the majority of women who use MN appear to have had quite negative experiences in relationships

I would say the majority of women on the relationship board not on MN as a whole. If you actually look at who posts there the same names crop up repeatedly. The women posting in Christmas or The Litter Tray or Housekeeping or Chat are not all banging on about their useless partners.

@Thingybob

No and wouldn't be with a partner who watches it.

...is my answer too.

Re the posters who are answering "yes" - mostly names that I'm not used to seeing on FWR.

Would it be fair to say that feminists are more likely to say no to this question and women who do not describe themselves as feminist are more likely to say yes?

I used to watch it when I was younger. I read an article talking about exploitation and the author described it as "filmed prostitution." It was a wake up call for me and I haven't watched it since.

I read erotica now and feel far more comfortable doing it.

This, exactly.

I'm not a feminist. I answered no.

Pornography and prostitution are damaging to society generally, not just women. You don't have to be female or a feminist or motivated by religious obligations (I'm female but the other 2 don't apply) to think that is the case.

I knew you'd take the opportunity to remind us.

I used to watch it alone very rarely and with exH more regularly. (Probably 15 years ago?)
Only solo women or woman on woman, only if there were real orgasms involved.
It got very hard to find that, instead loads of anal/hair pulling/slapping/massive dildos and obvious faking which I hate.
Also exH turned out to be an "addict" who spent thousands on web cams then claimed he thought i wouldn't mind because I didn't mind porn.
I have totally changed from the more sex positive view I had in my twenties to thinking porn is a bad thing, and that's because I've seen how its led to women being harmed both during production and by changing attitudes and expectations of sex in real life.
Plus it destroyed my marriage. So no. Hate it.

@Saviouronthreelegs

I think you might get a different answer not posting on the feminism board since the posters on here are usually very active and proactive in their search and defense of women's rights. Unfortunately not all women are so focused or aware.

In answer for me, I have on occasion. Its not something I seek out or would look to do again.

I prefer if had been posted under Feminism not just because am out of my depth in that section but this kind of conversation given some of replies like porn is some benefits remind me of this creepy bloke John who advocates porn, he thinks he’s a feminist.

Am wondering all the yes how the discussion on porn is being done with their children

How many people saying yes have daughters would be happy to have them doing porn

Meant hadn’t been posted in feminism

No - I tried it a couple of times but it left me cold - kinda clinical.
Now erotic fiction on the other hand.... really enjoy it!

But I love sex itself and I find it quite sad that you find so many nefarious motives behind it. Theres nothing wrong with having a healthy sex life

You don't need to feel sad for me. I'm perfectly fine; and as I said used to enjoy sex, in the context of a loving relationship, tremendously. I wouldn't say that was the case for the one night stands and other types of sexual encounter, though.

I wasn't suggesting that sex cannot simply be a healthy part of relationship, I'm suggesting, that regular porn consumption, and many sexual encounters are most often anything but healthy.

How many people saying yes have daughters would be happy to have them doing porn**

Excellent question..are there any answers...from the """yes""""" people..

Justhadathought,

I watched porn because I was in a very sad and mentally unwell period in my life. Seeing other people having sex felt very intimate and human. Through Twitter accounts and other social media I was able to interact with the performers so felt that they weren’t just totally random people. I didn’t use pornhub and paid a proper Subscription to Helix, so felt at least I wasn’t unethical in that way. I thought I was doing it in the most ethical way I could but still later found out that one of the performers was abused prior to starting in porn, so I still feel I supported the exploitation of a vulnerable person, and was deluding myself at the time.

@SheGonBringThatAttitudeHome2

I knew you'd take the opportunity to remind us.

What an insightful comment- you've added so much to the debate.