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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Bunbury’s Eighth- Sealion training for beginners

999 replies

SophocIestheFox · 13/02/2021 21:08

Old thread nearly full!

————————————-

The useful Bunbury Guide to Spotting Community Disruptors is constantly evolving.

The best research and advice is not to engage with community disruptors and trolls. As ever, if you suspect troll activity, report it to MNHQ.

Remember there are people out there who would like to silence us by fair means or foul.

This is a continuation of the Public Service Announcement thread:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/3944572-Bunburys-guide-to-community-disruptors-part-5?pg=40

If and when you see threads plopped into FWR, especially a curious repeat of well worn topics, maybe check for poster history before engaging. AS is your friend.

There are a number of posts/posters/threads that are reproduced on Twitter or Facebook to foment controversy using screen shots & flagging to either MNHQ to have threads or posters deleted.. Sometimes, it’s used to approach commissioning editors with ideas for articles. It’s a tiresome tactic that we always have community disruptor posters who themselves post the comments that they then highlight elsewhere as purported evidence of racism, religious intolerance, anti-men sentiments, or transphobia.

Some helpful links can be found in the ‘Break it Down for me’ and ‘It never happens’ threads but in essence FermatsTheorem recommended “that in the absence of a block/hide poster button, I suggest the following strategy (given that you're talking to the lurkers).

Do not name check the sealion. Instead, respond to a depersonalised paraphrase:

"It is sometimes erroneously suggested that blah. Blah is wrong for the following reasons (short and pithy). If you need more information re. debunking blah, here's a link."

Then (this next step is important to combat derailment) go back up thread to the last useful contribution to the discussion, make sure you do name check that contributor, and pick up the discussion from that point.”

OP posts:
Thread gallery
17
ArabellaScott · 24/02/2021 12:43

IANAL, but I think lesbians should be able to discuss their community and boundaries. Angry

RufustheSniggeringReindeer · 24/02/2021 12:59

@ArabellaScott

IANAL, but I think lesbians should be able to discuss their community and boundaries. Angry
Ive just seen what you mean

Its honestly taking the fucking piss

When i was on there there was nothing rude or mean

Spirit of the fucking site my arse

ArabellaScott · 24/02/2021 13:18

Women are not allowed to sound warning bells. Women are not allowed to state their boundaries, share their worries/fears/concerns.

ErrolTheDragon · 24/02/2021 13:30

Oh FFS. Hmm
Maybe it would be possible to have a thread for lesbians to discuss their community and boundaries if it completely and utterly didn't talk about the thing we're unable to talk about? It would have to avoid illustrations pertaining to the TWUTTA as well.

Wrongsideofhistorymyarse · 24/02/2021 13:31

@ArabellaScott

You can report the posts, Wrongside. And I can recommend some deep breathing exercises, if it helps.
I'm recovering now thanks :D
CoffeeTeaChocolate · 24/02/2021 13:34

Sorry if I my posts upset anyone Blush. If they did, I apologise unreservedly.

ArabellaScott · 24/02/2021 13:40

What posts, Coffee? You've not even mentioned baked beans?

RufustheSniggeringReindeer · 24/02/2021 13:45

@CoffeeTeaChocolate

Sorry if I my posts upset anyone Blush. If they did, I apologise unreservedly.
What posts love?
ErrolTheDragon · 24/02/2021 13:51

Tbh it's not your posts which are the problem, it's your name. Keeps reminding me that I have no chocolate in the house.Sad

RufustheSniggeringReindeer · 24/02/2021 13:59

Im currently making brownies cos dd really wants chocolate and im not breaking in to the easter egg stock

CoffeeTeaChocolate · 24/02/2021 14:00

I thought people were referring to posts on the lesbian thread. I am afraid I brought Glinner into it Blush.

Errol, you have my sympathy, sorry about the name. Would it help if I said that I am on a strictly no caffeine diet for medical reasons...? Looking at how tight my jeans are, it is amazing how many calories I can eat whilst avoiding caffeine (and therefore also chocolate as it has caffeine) Grin

ArabellaScott · 24/02/2021 14:05

No, the thread about males in lesbian groups got pulled as not in the spirit.

MichelleofzeResistance · 24/02/2021 14:12

Lesbians, talking about lesbian groups, is not in the spirit of the site.

Confused Confused Confused Confused Confused

MichelleofzeResistance · 24/02/2021 14:18

As a lesbian, am I supposed to pretend this isn't happening? Am I not allowed to share that this doesn't work for me?

Is it supposed to be compulsory now to embrace this regardless of how I'm affected?

Yay, I'm no longer allowed to be homosexual! Go me! Oh the kindness and joyful inclusion I don't feel.

MichelleofzeResistance · 24/02/2021 14:20

(And by 'don't feel' I hasten to add, I don't feel it as a recipient !!!)

I'd obviously never be so naughty as to not be kind and inclusive to absolutely everyone else on the planet at all times regardless of how they treat me.

7Days · 24/02/2021 14:23

All I know is, I used to feel bad about the time I wasted in this place.
Turns out, I'm only a hobbyist.

ArabellaScott · 24/02/2021 14:23
Sad

I'm trying to formulate thoughts on how women flag up concerns about problematic males, how they warn each other, how the discuss boundaries etc, and how this is being undermined and the implications.

It comes down to - are we now allowed to say 'this behaviour is creepy'

ArabellaScott · 24/02/2021 14:26

Or 'this behaviour makes me very uncomfortable', even. Or 'This person seems to be being dishonest'.

How do we mention or discuss gaslighting?

We are not allowed to say that 'this is not okay' and it freaks me out.

MichelleofzeResistance · 24/02/2021 14:26

Possibly the title of this forum needs update. Women's rights seems a bit of a misleading title.

Really angry about this, I am not participating in a place where I am forced to co operate as a homosexual woman in pretending that homosexuality is something inappropriate and naughty for women to do. Homophobia is where I draw the line.

Wrongsideofhistorymyarse · 24/02/2021 14:28

Flowers to silenced lesbians.

Ereshkigalangcleg · 24/02/2021 14:30

Good point, 7Days!

I do have chocolate in the house and it's taking all my willpower not to touch it!

ArabellaScott · 24/02/2021 14:36

I'm not surprised you're angry, Michelle. I'm angry on your behalf. But - please don't leave. Sad

ArabellaScott · 24/02/2021 14:37

The trouble is when a thread gets zapped, we can't even refer to it to see why. Maybe I'll ask on site stuff.

ArabellaScott · 24/02/2021 14:43

I have asked in Site Stuff.

PotholeParadies · 24/02/2021 14:44

Not in the spirit of the site? Did someone give the admin passwords to that kidult from the other morning who called MN a "straight people website"?