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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Bunbury’s Eighth- Sealion training for beginners

999 replies

SophocIestheFox · 13/02/2021 21:08

Old thread nearly full!

————————————-

The useful Bunbury Guide to Spotting Community Disruptors is constantly evolving.

The best research and advice is not to engage with community disruptors and trolls. As ever, if you suspect troll activity, report it to MNHQ.

Remember there are people out there who would like to silence us by fair means or foul.

This is a continuation of the Public Service Announcement thread:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/3944572-Bunburys-guide-to-community-disruptors-part-5?pg=40

If and when you see threads plopped into FWR, especially a curious repeat of well worn topics, maybe check for poster history before engaging. AS is your friend.

There are a number of posts/posters/threads that are reproduced on Twitter or Facebook to foment controversy using screen shots & flagging to either MNHQ to have threads or posters deleted.. Sometimes, it’s used to approach commissioning editors with ideas for articles. It’s a tiresome tactic that we always have community disruptor posters who themselves post the comments that they then highlight elsewhere as purported evidence of racism, religious intolerance, anti-men sentiments, or transphobia.

Some helpful links can be found in the ‘Break it Down for me’ and ‘It never happens’ threads but in essence FermatsTheorem recommended “that in the absence of a block/hide poster button, I suggest the following strategy (given that you're talking to the lurkers).

Do not name check the sealion. Instead, respond to a depersonalised paraphrase:

"It is sometimes erroneously suggested that blah. Blah is wrong for the following reasons (short and pithy). If you need more information re. debunking blah, here's a link."

Then (this next step is important to combat derailment) go back up thread to the last useful contribution to the discussion, make sure you do name check that contributor, and pick up the discussion from that point.”

OP posts:
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17
notyourhandmaid · 16/02/2021 23:33

The effort that can go into 'choosing not to engage' does not always feel worth it, especially on a forum about feminism and women's rights, though. It's absolutely the more pragmatic thing to do, I do see where you're coming from and not trying to get into a spat, I promise, but there's a bit of cognitive dissonance involved in 'just ignoring' typical male pattern behaviour just because it's not unusual.

Coping strategies beyond recipe suggestions would be appreciated here, I suppose! Smile

OldCrone · 16/02/2021 23:39

@CoffeeTeaChocolate

Sometimes I wonder about the motivation of some of the more...male socialised posters.

Are they here because they think that if they repeat the same arguments enough times there is a chance that women here will believe them?

Or do they take a perverse pleasure in pushing women’s boundaries, especially when those women are tied in verbal knots by the posting guidelines?

Or...do they genuinely hope that they will be viewed as “one of the girls” here? Another measure of validation?

I think it's probably the first of those. Because of #nodebate they're used to being told they're right so they just think we need to be educated in the error of our ways.

It feels much more like the second (so maybe that is what they're doing after all).

Not the third. Not after they've read a few posts on here. We're obviously not the 'right' sort of women.

Beamur · 16/02/2021 23:43

Sometimes engagement is illuminating though. Especially for people who lurk. It does air all 'sides'
I'm not arguing with you at all. Just sometimes the effort in reasonably rebutting an argument from someone who is not really posting in good faith isn't worth your efforts in doing so.

Ereshkigalangcleg · 17/02/2021 01:21

Just sometimes the effort in reasonably rebutting an argument from someone who is not really posting in good faith isn't worth your efforts in doing so.

I agree.

Galvantulang · 17/02/2021 07:49

I've probably missed the moment but I have only ever enjoyed courgette once. It was in a wee restaurant in the middle of nowhere in the South of France and it had fuck tons of garlic in it and probably butter.

My food stuffs of evil are water chestnuts (why? crunchy tasteless weirdness) and pickled gherkins which just give me the heebie jeebies. Oh and picked onions. I used to hate it as a bairn when the cheese and other items on a stick was out and the pineapple ones were all gone. Vinegary cheese. Nope.

This board has been keeping me company since 3am when smallest DC lost their cuddly animal (not a sea otter) and apparently forgot to just look on the floor. Getting back to sleep fail. 🥱

PotholeParadies · 17/02/2021 08:44

Galvantulang

Reassuring to hear it's not just my offspring who have such incidents! (Also not a cuddly otter.)

YetAnotherSpartacus · 17/02/2021 09:27

Hmmm - seems some of my posts are being reported - so I'm lying low.

CaraDuneRedux · 17/02/2021 09:33

I think it's probably the first of those. Because of #nodebate they're used to being told they're right so they just think we need to be educated in the error of our ways.

I don't think it's even this.

I think they're so steeped in male privilege that there isn't space in their heads for the possibility that they might be wrong. The endless repetition is like a racist holiday maker "shouting loudly at the foreigners" in English.

CoffeeTeaChocolate · 17/02/2021 09:40

Going against the grain here, but I am just wondering if it is some weird type of validation exercise. To try to be one of the women here and bring their own perspective on fighting for women’s rights whatever they think that is. And a an anger that it is futile whatever they do. Because even online we can tell the male socialisation.

I don’t think they would give many here the time of day in real life. But this is an unashamedly female space. We only focus on women and girls. And as such, it is a space where they are not accepted for the women they perceive themselves as. And in order to maintain the illusion that they are women, they really, really want to be accepted here.

ArabellaScott · 17/02/2021 09:53

Water chestnuts have a totally unique texture! A sort of watery-snappy-chomp. Like half melted ice. I love them. And gherkins deserve their own cult - so pickly! So crunchy!

I am quite happy to defend almost all foods, but you are all on your own with the fucking celeriac, to be honest.

Regarding engaging or not -

I think I gauge it according to various factors -

For it may help to check my own conclusions and cognitive bias
For it may be to the benefit of lurkers
For expressing and registering my own anger and boundaries
For it depends on how tired/busy I am.

I just try to bear in mind that nobody is obliged to respond or engage, it's always a choice. And try to remember that there is usually no urgency - sometimes it's worth taking time to consider different angles or aspects or wait for the rage to subside somewhat. Smile

ArabellaScott · 17/02/2021 09:53

As for motivations, martyrdom is a hell of a drug. Even when its ridiculous.

Ereshkigalangcleg · 17/02/2021 09:55

I also like water chestnuts for the texture, and bamboo shoots.

Galvantulang · 17/02/2021 10:03

See it's the weird gritty-crunchy texture of the water chestnuts that I dislike 😂 Can't explain it.

I am endeavouring to be measured in my response to posts, notwithstanding a recent minor piñata related rant. Blush

Just been goggling at a few recently though. The bloody cheek o some people.

ErrolTheDragon · 17/02/2021 10:52

I think it's often more effective if one or a few posters at a time respond to disrupters (if any response at all seems appropriate). So there really is no obligation for any individual to engage unless they really want to.

Water chestnuts are excellent in the right context. Bamboo shoots ... well, I guess they're a good source of roughage .

Ereshkigalangcleg · 17/02/2021 11:05

They're nice in hot and sour soup, but there you have all the flavour you could want.

ErrolTheDragon · 17/02/2021 11:16

I do sometimes wonder why I like water chestnuts but would hate pieces of raw potato which I'd guess would be very similar in terms of taste and texture. Perhaps my senses recognise that raw potato can be harmful and they're not the same thing despite the apparent similarities?

CaraDuneRedux · 17/02/2021 12:02

Terrific team Bunburying going on to get a thread back on track - hard work but I think we've managed it.

And oh my goodness there is some extraordinary stuff out there on twitter which once seen can't be unseen.

SunsetBeetch · 17/02/2021 12:26

I don't know why I'm getting adverts for Master of Malt, but damn they look good.

PotholeParadies · 17/02/2021 12:34

Today was the first time I posted while reciting Bunbury's aphorisms to myself, and I'm rather proud of myself.

SunsetBeetch · 17/02/2021 12:36

@PotholeParadies

Today was the first time I posted while reciting Bunbury's aphorisms to myself, and I'm rather proud of myself.
Oopsy, I didn't Grin
YetAnotherSpartacus · 17/02/2021 12:39

And oh my goodness there is some extraordinary stuff out there on twitter which once seen can't be unseen

The black strap-on has really done my head in.

I just don't understand.

SunsetBeetch · 17/02/2021 12:41

None of it makes sense.

Winesalot · 17/02/2021 13:40

Oh Spartacus. You delved deeper than I then. I saw enough as it was.

DeaconBoo · 17/02/2021 14:30

Got a deletion and no reply yet as to why - it was a (genuine!) 3-sentence message that I don't think RMW should feel they are unable to post here. I did mention that other thread where RMW had posted [a now-deleted post] so I assume this isn't 'in the spirit'? I think I've gotten told off before for saying 'hang on, you said the opposite on another thread' (re a completely different poster) so I imagine referring to other threads when making an argument is frowned upon but there's nothing about this in the talk guidelines.

ArabellaScott · 17/02/2021 15:20

But ... beansprouts have the brilliant surface tension cracking to juicy that no other thing on earth has! I will fight for the beansprout!