From now on, I was in an LGBTQ+ family’: my husband came out as trans while I was on maternity leave

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www.theguardian.com/society/2021/jan/02/from-now-on-i-was-in-an-lgbtq-family-my-husband-came-out-as-trans-while-i-was-on-maternity-leave

TheAdventures, yes, you're correct, the intent of the public confession is to enforce compliance on those who are already part of the group, demonstrate that she is a true and loyal adherent, and evangelize other women who may be similarly susceptible to the conditioning.

I've written loads on FWR about the dynamics involved from my own experiences of extreme patriarchal religion, but if I use the four letter C word that describes this psychology, I get deleted because women telling the truth about relevant life experiences is often deemed not in the spirit, so I'm afraid I have to rely on the intelligence of the reader to join the dots now.

Hmm. Looked this author up and glanced at a few of their articles. It seems that they were unable to swim and run for a while while pregnant. So did they not consider themselves a woman when they weren't as able bodied as before then? Yeah, we're all definitely buying that a woman doesn't really consider other women as such if they are in a wheelchair or exhibit a higher melanin content.

I have to laugh at the oh so progressive relationship line. They wrote that their child's sire progenitor was also spending time in the same residence during the first lockdown. The author stated that it was so novel for her (as the mother) not to be the sole caregiver. They were waxing lyrical about having someone to share some childcare in their flat for the first time in around two years. They had the novel luxury of making a cup of coffee without having their child around their ankles. They could get a decent night's sleep as they didn't have to stay on high alert for their child's cries as the only caregiver. And, a definitive sign of a resident deity was that the other adult cleaned up the dishes after the author cooked. Well, can we all just stand in awe of such progressive magnificence? A sire progenitor is dabbling in a wee bit of 'babysitting' for their own offspring around the three year mark. After the mother is spent and knackered from the strain of being the main caregiver for two years with a young infant. Is there an award for that level of progressiveness? Giving mammy the privilege of making a cup of coffee while the sire progenitor did her the favour of engaging with their own progeny.

People often create a narrative they are better able to accept rather than admit the unvarnished truth. Equivocate and gloss. If they acknowledged the truth straight on, it would be devastating.

However, I wouldn't like to be their baby. I'd prefer my mother to have comforted me if I was a baby in distress rather than seize the opportunity to play to an audience and take the piss out of my misery to look for kudos about how right on with the guys she was.

A line from Josey Wales comes to mind. "Don't p*ss down my back and tell me it's raining".

graziadaily.co.uk/life/real-life/co-parenting-divorce-childcare-lockdown/

I had a good look round the internet for signs of the authors ex. Looks like they’ve used the ‘right to be forgotten’ thingummy as I only found one tiny picture with no face showing.

I’m a fan of her previous books.

A Times 2 article on this by Helen Rumbelow is good IMO. Alexandra seems to acknowledge, in her ‘darkest moments’, having felt ‘duped’ by her then H into having a DC, but then argues that he was ‘consistently not a deceptive person’. When the evidence v much suggests a long, long period of deceit.

It seems that she’s chosen to say mainly positive things to and about her ex, that they are a woman etc, and to seek to maintain a good personal and co parenting relationship with them. (The article said they shared residency of the DC). And to reject the idea of herself as a victim. Which is, of course, her prerogative - it’s her life!

The alternatives could lead to negative consequences from her ex, some of her friends, acquaintances, community (Brighton) and professional detriment too.

As PPs say, wondering if these choices have psychological costs.

Alexandra Heminsley is going to be on today's Woman's Hour. This will be an indicator of how much of a Stunning and Brave fan Emma Barnett is.

The roasting Emma gave Jo Swindon during the last election campaign makes it hard to imagine she isn't going to be at least a tad critical. But the way it was introduced gave me the chills - "you discover your husband IS a woman", not believes he is, or tells you he thinks he is, or all the other more neutral ways it could have been presented. I'm gnashing my teeth in anticipation.

*Swinson. Bloody autocorrect

Listen how carefully Heminsley is having to pick and choose her words to avoid inadvertently saying something heretical. This is excrutiating.