Would you ok your son wearing a dress?

[KristinaJup]

Candace Owens recently tweeted (in response to Harry Styles wearing a dress on a magazine cover) "Bring Back Manly Men".. amongst other things.

Who really cares if a guy wears tutus and glittery dresses? Prince was hot af in his heels and Makeup.

Imo I would have no problem with it at all if my son wanted to put on a skirt but the tweet gained a lot of traction and I saw quite a few memes and lots of fingers pointed at feminism for "ruining men"

If we carry on this way the next thing will be....women should not be wearing trousers! What do you think?

The type of woman that allows her son to wear a dress is more likely than not, pushing their agenda on their poor children - feeding them to a pack of wolves all in the name of 'equality'.

I never remember my brothers, male friends or family ever asking or wanting to wear a dress!

Face it, it's you the parents, not your son wanting this.

Brainwashing at it's best.

I would never suggest it.

Yes, if he wanted to.

@Crystalclair

The type of woman that allows her son to wear a dress is more likely than not, pushing their agenda on their poor children - feeding them to a pack of wolves all in the name of 'equality'.

I never remember my brothers, male friends or family ever asking or wanting to wear a dress!

Face it, it's you the parents, not your son wanting this.

Brainwashing at it's best.

Uh huh. I don't see why you think it's so unlikely that a boy would see his sister swishing about in a fully dress and want to try it himself. Do you imagine the presence of a y chromosome makes males inherently dislike garments that don't wrap around each leg individually?

When my little cousin wanted a baby doll and pram, my DF was convinced someone had put him up to it. A child couldn't possibly see something his sister had and want it for himself, oh no. Must've been encouraged, poor child.

Yes, why not?

I am probably going off at a tangent here but I don’t recall my kids making clothing requests and I certainly didn’t set clothing up as a choice. I just told them what they were wearing until they were about ten. It was the same for me growing up.

My mum was very like this - she had a lot of fairly trad feminist views and I wasn't allowed pink or frills or overly 'girlie' stuff, and wasn't allowed to wear make up or shave my legs or have pierced ears until I was 18. It wasn't hugely disastrous for me, but I certainly felt from primary school age that I was missing out on stuff that I wanted, and felt like I did want to use clothes and colour etc as a way of expressing myself. Plus as a teen it was a bit miserable to be the weird kid in sensible M&S clothing with hair legs and a unibrow. Probably very character building, but not in a good way.

Mine were allowed to wear what they wanted with a few exceptions (school etc)

It led to some interesting sartorial choices

Namechange, your mum not allowing you pink, makeup or to choose your own clothes as a teenager is really very bizarre and not at all similar to what I have described.

How you have come to the conclusion that was like my experience I do not know. I just wore conventional clothes like every other kid until the age of about ten when I started having an interest in clothes at which point I chose my own. My kids were similar.

None that I feel massively strongly about, but it encourages them to think clothing is more important than it is

What level of importance do you think is reasonable for clothing?

Less important than love but more important than Twister? I’m not really sure how to answer that question other than by rehashing what I have already said.

It’s very important for teens as they are trying to develop a sense of identity and so is an easy way of fitting in with a sub culture while they are developing the maturity to have a more complex sense of self.

It is much less important to younger children, although the clothes they see will influence their aesthetic understanding in the same way interior design does.

I think the question posed by the OP doesn't actually have much to do with whether Harry Styles (an adult) should wear a dress. It's impossible to answer without considering how much duty a parent has to protect their child from pain by encouraging them to conform vs. how much a parent should teach their child that they are accepted and loved as they are. You can see from this thread that people come at that question from many different perspectives.

However, I think its good to be aware that concepts of conformity change.

medium.com/@NewAgeNews/why-is-president-franklin-d-roosevelt-wearing-a-dress-83fba3549523

Less important than love but more important than Twister?

😂

I fucking love it here.

My son is almost five and wears girl pjs and has girly duvet cover. He also has asd.
I wouldn't let him wear dresses outside but on occasion he will wear one inside. He has an older sister which he likes to copy i think.

Surely being frank with your kids in an age appropriate way Would be the way to go. For preschool children, who cares? Other kids won’t be bothered or probably even notice. Maybe the kid will get misgendered but again at that age no one really cares.

As he gets older/in school teach him about stereotypes. “Some people used to think that men and women shouldn’t have certain jobs - there’s even some who still think that! Isn’t that crazy? In fact some people think what we wear or what we like should be based on whether we’re male or female. Some people even bully others about it!”

If he still wants to wear one, prepare him to shrug and brush it off if it comes up. And let’s be honest if it isn’t the dress the kids who are so inclined will make something else the issue for teasing.

Today's society normally accepts that boys wear boys' clothing and girls wear girls' clothing, which includes trousers, jeans, leggings and jeggings. Society doesn't cater for boys wearing dresses. Adults who are pandering to their sons' wishes to wear a dress outdoors are 1) setting the child up for hostile stares and comments, 2) jumping on the current nonsensical bandwagon and 3) loading their sons with their own perceived politically correct agenda.

As Michelle y nicely earlier

The idea of stopping your child from acting in a way they chose simply because other people might act badly as a result is a pretty crap way to bring up your child.

Society doesn't cater for boys wearing dresses.

There's the rub.

jumping on the current nonsensical bandwagon

Are you alluding to nonsense like if a boy wants to play with dolls/like pink/wear a dress, then he must have been born in the wrong body?

That nonsense?

@Stripesnomore

The reasons not to let them choose? None that I feel massively strongly about, but it encourages them to think clothing is more important than it is and to make superficial judgements about themselves and other people based on what they are wearing. It puts pressure on poor kids whose parents can’t afford to buy them what the other kids are asking to wear.

The other issue would be that they are kids and might make inappropriate clothing choices, so it becomes an unnecessary negotiation.

Even the attitude that they are not dolls sets up the idea that the primary purpose of clothing is decorative rather than practical.

It’s not an important area of life to have an opinion about. It falls into that parenting style where it is all about the child’s identity and individuality and doesn’t encourage the child to respect their parents’ guidance and authority.

Yeah, I agree with this.

If there is a choice to be had, I don't see any reason not to let a child make it. My four year old picks what she wants from her clothes most mornings when she wakes up. On the other hand, almost all of her clothing is hand me downs, and the same is true of my older kids to some extent.

More than restrictions around "boys' and "girls" clothes, I think a lot of the foolishness over gender ideology comes out of the idea that it's important for kids to express themselves through their clothing choices, to be authentic.

It's not. I like clothes as much as the next person, but it is so not important. Who we are is nothing to do with what we wear - that is an idea that comes out of consumerism and branding to a large degree. It's natural for kids and teens to be interested in that to some degree, but it's also a good thing for them if parents prove to be a little skeptical, don't take it too seriously, and continue to insist on things like snow-pants in the cold, or that the work uniform is necessary even if it is butt ugly.

Kids should be coming out of their childhood and teen years with a strong sense of self, not a sense of identity - branding - built around culturally arbitrary clothing options and product choices.

Teenagers have used clothes to express themselves since the 1940's.

The idea of stopping your child from acting in a way they chose simply because other people might act badly as a result is a pretty crap way to bring up your child
So, you'd be ok with people reacting badly if your child is behaving in an antisocial way, because he chooses to? Many children would choose to act badly if given the choice. Don't you think it's a parent's job to bring up their children to respect the normal values of society?

Giving into bullies is wrong .

Changing yourself to try and avoid the gaze of the bullies is wrong. Why should I change because they are bad? Surely the behaviours that need to be challenged and changed are those of the bullies?

How far do you take it? Don't wear a dress son, don't wear a shirt skirt daughter, don't study dance son? Dont study physics daughter? What about don't eat vegetarian? Make sure you do wear make up? Don't apply for that job? Don't buy that unfashionable handbag?

So, you'd be ok with people reacting badly if your child is behaving in an antisocial way, because he chooses to? Many children would choose to act badly if given the choice. Don't you think it's a parent's job to bring up their children to respect the normal values of society?

What does wearing a long piece of fabric that doesn't attach at the crotch have to do with "acting badly"? Also FWIW, the "normal values of society" for a long time were hardcore racism, sexism, homophobia etc so there are occasionally positive results of ignoring the status quo.

And I was talking about dress wearing, big thumping another child. About things that don't harm others. Wearing a dress does not harm others.

Big means not !