Would you ok your son wearing a dress?

[KristinaJup]

Candace Owens recently tweeted (in response to Harry Styles wearing a dress on a magazine cover) "Bring Back Manly Men".. amongst other things.

Who really cares if a guy wears tutus and glittery dresses? Prince was hot af in his heels and Makeup.

Imo I would have no problem with it at all if my son wanted to put on a skirt but the tweet gained a lot of traction and I saw quite a few memes and lots of fingers pointed at feminism for "ruining men"

If we carry on this way the next thing will be....women should not be wearing trousers! What do you think?

My son can wear whatever he wants.

I never want him to think he needs to be a "manly man". I just want him to be him. Makes me sad to think of such a ridiculous pressure on people.

Same. I don't even know what a manly man is but judging from the memes: physical aggression, suits, going to war, not being "sensitive".

I have men in my family with that kind of expectation of my son. I remember my brother being critical when my 3yo son was holding my hand at the park. It's a toxic opinion.

I'd have no problem with it at all. I think everyone should be free to wear whatever the hell they like.

I think it's great and actually refreshing that Harry Styles wears dresses just because he likes them and wants to wear them. Nothing at all wrong it.

It's the people that go on the attack that are the problem. They're the ones that lead kids/teens to think they need to conform to one set of stereotypes, and if they don't there must be something wrong with them.

I wouldn't like it. The world is harsh and cruel and it's easier to be a straight man who conforms to societal dress codes.
Harry Styles looks odd. Anything to stay relevant and gender fluid is all the rage, so..

We’ve got to draw the line somewhere though, haven't we?

As grown adults yeah, crack on and let them do their thing but boys - as children - wearing dresses its just not right, and imo parents accepting this as normal behaviour or even encouraging it are toxic and its more child abuse, setting them up for a life of bullying.

DS can wear whatever he wants...but he thinks dresses are too draughty so wouldn't want to wear them. He's a longsleeves/long trousers even in August kind of person.

No problem with it. I had a boyfriend who would occasionally wear a skirt and my son when he was younger would wear his sister's dresses - and looked beautiful.
I'd point out that this skirt/dress wearing didnt make them trans.

Now if my big bloke of a husband suddenly put a dress on, I'd think he was having a breakdown.

No I would not want it or ok it, as he'd look like a dick and I do not want him to be the centre of attention and ridiculed.

No. It’s never been a social norm so it will draw attention to my ds and i know he’d hate that. It’d be similar my dd deciding to wear something out of the ordinary like a onesie/pjs outside, or a dress from the 1800s aristocracy. It’s not socially acceptable therefore it would draw attention to her.

It has nothing to do with it being a dress.

He can wear what he likes as long as it doesn’t need ironing.

If my adult son wore a dress I'd think, up to you. My 10yo, I'd want to protect him from the ridicule.

I was a teenager in the 80s, young adult in the 90s. It’s nothing new. Truly mystified by all this fuss. Clothes are for expressing belonging or not belonging or arsiness or whatever a person wants.

Well yes, I don't know why this is even a question. DS used to have a couple of dresses in with the rest of his clothes because he liked pretty and velvety things. He used to wear them over a pair of trousers sometimes. Now he's older he doesn't want to wear dresses but he still loves a bit of bling and sparkle on his clothes so often ends up with tops from the "girls" section as they have all the glitter and sequins He knows he's a boy though and he knows that clothes are just clothes and that he can wear the ones he likes so long as they cover the important bits of his body, are appropriate for the weather, and don't have offensive slogans or images on.

Only inside the house, not outside. That would be to protect him from bullying, we do not live in a 'progressive' area, people generally follow the gender dress codes and roles.
I don't think there's anything wrong with it though. One of my sons used to like wearing girls clothes, lots of pink glittery shit and impersonating the models on ANTM. Fine indoors but his life would have been made a misery if anyone else had seen him.

Mind you he's a) autistic and b) home ed. So he's not really mixing with the sort of kids who would ridicule him for wearing sparkles. Most of the kids we mix with are similar in taste anyway!

For me, it would depend where he wanted to wear it. Out on the town in a liberal uni city (where I went to uni, nobody would have batted an eyelid), dressed up to the nines with all his mates? Absolutely fine. To a Sunday afternoon, village pub footie match with his dad? I'd advise against it because he'd be ridiculed.

So whilst, in principle, I will always encourage my two boys to be and wear what they want/feel comfortable in, there would be times I might try and steer them in a 'safer' direction.

I couldn't give a flying fuck, and I say that honestly, not as anonymous voice on screen.

My 9yo likes wearing my wedding dress, nail varnish, pink, hearts, My Little Ponies (well, he's outgrown them). Also guns, tanks, planes, TNT, Just Add Magic TV programme, marble runs, Among Us... He's a complex soul like anyone.

Unfortunately he wouldn't wear a dress/skirt out as he's worried he'd get picked on.

I'd be fine with it. I'd be a bit worried about him being teased but so long as he was aware that there was a decent possibility of that happening and still wanted to go ahead with it then of course I'd be fine with it.

@RayOfSunshine2013

We’ve got to draw the line somewhere though, haven't we?

As grown adults yeah, crack on and let them do their thing but boys - as children - wearing dresses its just not right, and imo parents accepting this as normal behaviour or even encouraging it are toxic and its more child abuse, setting them up for a life of bullying.

My 4yo likes dressing up as Elsa and pretending he has ice powers. Do you think I'm abusive for letting him? Or is it more abusive to dictate how my child engages in imaginary play? He knows he's a boy, there's no question about that. He just also likes dressing up as his favourite character.

boys - as children - wearing dresses its just not right

Why?

Sons can wear what they want. Youngest spent most of nursery in a princess dress. He is now a teen, hasn't asked for any dresses recently but I wouldn't mind. His dad used to wear flowery skirts occasionally (90s, art college).

but boys - as children - wearing dresses its just not right

I don't get why you need a specific set of genitals to be able to wear a dress or a trousers, tbh.

I said this on another thread today, but on World Book Day my 10 year old DS wore a massive pink princess dress and, as far as I could tell, literally no one gave a shit. He is a pretty popular and largely very gender conforming boy with a slight penchant for dresses/jewellery/make up and we have never made a big deal of it either way. Inside, I was a bit worried about him wearing the dress as I was a bit worried he would change his mind before going to school, or that kids would make fun of him, but he totally confidently walked to school wearing it, it wasn't even an issue, and he said people liked the outfit but no one said much either way. He doesn't seem to be into dresses for every day wear which I know is a different kettle of fish, but he is definitely drawn to some more 'feminine stuff' sometimes, and I hoping that I will just be able to allow him to go with what he wants.