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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

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Original poster

Would you ok your son wearing a dress?

686 replies

KristinaJup · 12/12/2020 18:46

Candace Owens recently tweeted (in response to Harry Styles wearing a dress on a magazine cover) "Bring Back Manly Men".. amongst other things.

Who really cares if a guy wears tutus and glittery dresses? Prince was hot af in his heels and Makeup.

Imo I would have no problem with it at all if my son wanted to put on a skirt but the tweet gained a lot of traction and I saw quite a few memes and lots of fingers pointed at feminism for "ruining men"

If we carry on this way the next thing will be....women should not be wearing trousers! What do you think?

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Awarethebear · 12/12/2020 21:09

That's bullshit @simonjt those people would have converted to Islam. I'll say it again Christians do not wear them.

BlackWaveComing · 12/12/2020 21:09

Dido, sorry to tell you, but mothers don't need to support fetishistic behaviours in their older teenage sons. Not every choice our sons make need to be celebrated. Mothers are allowed to have their own value systems.

In my personal experience, and that of friends, there's a distinct difference between boys who dress for fashion/to push back, and boys who are sneaking women's underwear into their drawers.

I don't personally ban anything, so not sure what your police hyperbole is all about.

DidoLamenting · 12/12/2020 21:09

@jj1968

No but how many were? It's just nonsense to pretend this is mainstream. And tbh plenty of male goths wore make-up- not so sure about dresses

I knew loads of goths in the 80s, none of the men wore dresses, it rarely got beyond black nail polish and smudged eye liner. I was very GNC, but never wore a dress in public and even so I got loads of shit for it up to and including violence, both physical and sexual. And no-one would ive you a job, even long hair on men was still a big deal in a lot of places. It's a complete fantasy that everyone was really gender non-conforming in the 80s. There were a couple of subcultures, like goth and glam rock, both very heterosexual incidentally, but they were very far from the mainstream and came with significant social cost.

And funnily enough I know quite a few trans women who were hiding in goth/glam/new romantic 80s subcultures but didn't feel safe enough to come out until the late 90s.

Thank you JJ. We rarely agree I agree it is a complete fantasy.
SimonJT · 12/12/2020 21:10

@Awarethebear

That's bullshit *@simonjt* those people would have converted to Islam. I'll say it again Christians do not wear them.
So you’re saying my friends who are christians, who regularly attend church, some of who have been on mission are secretly muslims?
midgebabe · 12/12/2020 21:12

@Awarethebear

That's bullshit *@simonjt* those people would have converted to Islam. I'll say it again Christians do not wear them.
What, never? That's a risky statement!
Awarethebear · 12/12/2020 21:13

@simonjt when I first asked where you see these Christians in shalwar kameez you said you saw them out and about, next minute they are people you know personally. Also you claim to have gone to church with these people yet you also claim to be an atheist. Like I said I'm calling bullshit on what you are saying.

Athrawes · 12/12/2020 21:14

It may not be mainstream for boys to wear not-trousers where some of you come from, but my father and son wore/wear kilts, my partner's father wore a longyi and where we live lavalava are both formal and daily wear for many boys. Allowing boys to wear the clothes that reflect their culture and not that of a Victorian colonising empire is important. Just as it was important to allow girls to wear clothes that permit freedom of movement and comfort.
They are just clothes for heaven's sakes!

SimonJT · 12/12/2020 21:15

[quote Awarethebear]@simonjt when I first asked where you see these Christians in shalwar kameez you said you saw them out and about, next minute they are people you know personally. Also you claim to have gone to church with these people yet you also claim to be an atheist. Like I said I'm calling bullshit on what you are saying.[/quote]
Athiests don’t actually burst into flames when they go onto a religious building. If someone was a christian would you only expect christians to attend that persons wedding/funeral?

Are people I know personally not allowed outside?

DidoLamenting · 12/12/2020 21:17

Why would someones skin colour have an impact on what they wear?

Are you seriously saying you have never come across any discussion ever as to whether it is acceptable for white women to wear saris, shalwar kameez, cheongsam or corn rows?

SittingAround1 · 12/12/2020 21:18

It wouldn't bother me at all.

Awarethebear · 12/12/2020 21:18

O so it was a wedding or a funeral you attended now haha your wholes just getting deeper.

Kanaloa · 12/12/2020 21:20

I wouldn’t personally have an issue with it, my younger son wears a nightie at home since he has issues around uncomfy clothes/feeling restricted in bed.

I also wouldn’t actively encourage my sons to go out in a dress. I think in our area people would be nasty. Although I encourage my kids to stand up to bullies, I also wouldn’t want to give nasty kids any unnecessary ammunition.

SimonJT · 12/12/2020 21:20

@DidoLamenting

Why would someones skin colour have an impact on what they wear?

Are you seriously saying you have never come across any discussion ever as to whether it is acceptable for white women to wear saris, shalwar kameez, cheongsam or corn rows?

No I haven’t. Lots of white people wear sari, not all people from the subcontinent are dark skinned. People are encouraged to wear sari, shalwar etc at events or day to day by a great many of the communities they are traditionally worn by. My white partner will be wearing a shalwar kameez during part of our wedding ceremony.

Cornrows aren’t clothes.

midgebabe · 12/12/2020 21:20

Christian events does sound more like weddings and Batista and funerals to me more than mass on sundays !

PumpkinWitch · 12/12/2020 21:21

@SimonJT

He can wear what he likes as long as it doesn’t need ironing.
This is the best answer. Who wants to do ironing. Grin DS likes to dress up and wears all sorts of outfits and wears them out of the house.

It is sad that children get bullied and made to feel that they can’t express themselves. A lot of boys wouldn’t feel brave enough to go out in a dress. I hope that will change.

SimonJT · 12/12/2020 21:21

@Awarethebear

O so it was a wedding or a funeral you attended now haha your wholes just getting deeper.
No, but of course I have attended both weddings and funerals thay have taken place in a church. Do you really think non-christians wouldn’t attend weddings and funerals in a church?
TheGremlinsAreComing · 12/12/2020 21:22

My son has worn dresses. And tutus. He can wear whatever he likes.

SendHelp30 · 12/12/2020 21:22

No I wouldn’t.

Chumleymouse · 12/12/2020 21:23

No not where I live , he’d get the shit kicked out of him ....... or worse 😮

Awarethebear · 12/12/2020 21:24

No that wasn't what I was insinuating, that is what you said to try get off the subject of your dishonesty. Christians don't wear shalwar kameez and especially not at weddings and funerals.

SimonJT · 12/12/2020 21:24

@Awarethebear

No that wasn't what I was insinuating, that is what you said to try get off the subject of your dishonesty. Christians don't wear shalwar kameez and especially not at weddings and funerals.
I’ll go and tell my friends that they’re pretending to be christians, I must say they’re obviously incredible actors.
midgebabe · 12/12/2020 21:24

I think the concern over potential cultural approbation is slightly different to an opinion that men should not wear dresses . Because perhaps I would like to think that the discrimination between men and women was no longer as strong a problem as racism at least in the uk

midgebabe · 12/12/2020 21:25

@Awarethebear

No that wasn't what I was insinuating, that is what you said to try get off the subject of your dishonesty. Christians don't wear shalwar kameez and especially not at weddings and funerals.
Why not ? Especially if the groom asked ?
SpudulikaSlob · 12/12/2020 21:26

It's such a shame when I want to comment on threads in FWR and the derailers have already been in and messed everything up.

DidoLamenting · 12/12/2020 21:26

Cornrows aren’t clothes

Gosh ! Thanks for putting me right! !

I included corn rows as an example of a style which has caused considerable controversy over cultural appropriation since it seems to be a concept unknown to you.

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