Breastfeeding support group wants to allow males

[user643899]

I am in a Facebook group for breastfeeding support.

There's a new comment from admin asking if we'd be comfortable with males joining the group, then a subsequent poll.

I commented on said poll, "I am a feminist. Call me a terf. Biologically you are male or female. Feel free to identify as what you wish but you cannot change your sex. This group is for breastfeeding. Only females can breastfeed."

I was called a bigot. One comment read, "you aren't a feminist. Feminists want equality for all genders." I responded,"Equality for both sexes, yes. Female is a sex. Feminism derives from the word, female."

Now my original comment has been deleted. I daren't comment again through fear of removal.

I'm upset. This is the group I used when I had thrush. I posted pictures of the thrush on my boob. I can't be comfortable in a group made for my sex.

If they have had chest surgery then it wouldn't be the right place to get support, surely?

If they had had chest surgery they wouldn't be breastfeeding because they would have no breast tissue.

Trans men are female, the question was about asking if males could be allowed in the group.

But how did they confirm they were female? Anyone can set up any Facebook profile, add random people and seem like a genuine account. It's a risk you take on social media sadly, anything you share can be seen by people you don't know, and shared anywhere, a women's only group doesn't guarantee anything. I know that's very cynical and support groups are invaluable, but fundamentally if anyone got their kicks previously they could have done- the kicker is if women are dismissed, their voices dimmed and language criticized by new people joining. I can't imagine there's going to be a huge influx mind.

Trans men are female, the question was about asking if males could be allowed in the group.

Well no, as OP has stated several times they are referring to transmen and transwomen being able to join. It doesn't make sense to be honest.

Are they talking about having random male spectators or audience sitting in on a women's breastfeeding group? People who have no connection to the people breastfeeding and who are not breastfeeding themselves.

Why?

@Therarestone

How dare a man want to find more information so he can be supportive of his partner breastfeeding their child. HOW DARE HE.

There may be many reasons what a female who is breastfeeding wont want to join a group that also includes males - for some women, breastfeeding is very intimate and personal. They may have to overcome many barriers to breastfeeding for all sorts of reasons. I don't think its unreasonable to expect a group that was initially for women only to continue to be so - if some women want their male partners to be able to join in in order to become better informed, then surely a sub group for that purpose could be set up? Transwomen who say they want to feed their babies is a very niche group - again they would benefit from a specific transwoman group as their needs will be totally different to women. Transmen who have not had mastectomies would benefit from a woman only group but most likely wouldn’t want to join it unless it was inclusive of men as that is generally what they see themselves as. OP, I doubt you're going to win with this group but if it were me I’d shut my mouth and just hang around watching what happens - I’d hazard a guess that it’ll become all about the transwomen.

@Duckwit

If they have had chest surgery then it wouldn't be the right place to get support, surely?

If they had had chest surgery they wouldn't be breastfeeding because they would have no breast tissue.

Trans men are female, the question was about asking if males could be allowed in the group.

The question was about allowing transmen/ women in the group.

I said I'm happy for biological females to join the group. My post got deleted. That clearly sums up their view.

@Duckwit actually that's not true. It IS possible for a transman to have chest surgery and still breastfeed. Yes they are biologically women but they present as MALE. Why would they want to be there?

@Backbee

But how did they confirm they were female? Anyone can set up any Facebook profile, add random people and seem like a genuine account. It's a risk you take on social media sadly, anything you share can be seen by people you don't know, and shared anywhere, a women's only group doesn't guarantee anything. I know that's very cynical and support groups are invaluable, but fundamentally if anyone got their kicks previously they could have done- the kicker is if women are dismissed, their voices dimmed and language criticized by new people joining. I can't imagine there's going to be a huge influx mind.

I'm not sure how. I'm not part of the admin team.

The argument that anyone could be male isn't cutting it.
As long as the group has a firm stance on being a female-only group there would be no issue.
If males are pretending to be females to join breastfeeding groups then that's a huge reason why they shouldn't be allowed in the first place.

Well yes OP, but then your argument is about men joining full stop, rather than bringing transmen and transwomen into it, no?

@Backbee

Well yes OP, but then your argument is about men joining full stop, rather than bringing transmen and transwomen into it, no?

No, that isn't my argument as that wasn't the question asked.

The question was regarding transmen/ transwomen joining a breastfeeding group, which I've pointed out quite a few times.

It rather depends on what side you fall when it comes to gender ideology, Backbee. Because that determines whether it's MTF or FTM trans people you view as female.

@OP @HotGlueGun @Coffeeandcocopops

I was clearly so frazzled because my husband just said he was never there. He said he dropped me off as I wasn't allowed to drive due to my cesarean, he confirmed they explained it at the hospital and when the midwife came to our house, so he never set foot in the breastfeeding clinic.

I personally wouldn't mind, but you are right, it can make other women feel uncomfortable and that's the last thing I would want when breastfeeding at the early stages is stressful enough as it is.

What is in it for the women in the group? How does it enrich the support for the women in the group?

The presence of random males who seem to have no reason to be there just seems to be plain voyeurism if it it has no relevant purpose for the group or for people who join to gain breastfeeding support.

I align with the biological reality that transmen are women and transwomen are men. I still don't get OPs point and why they are specifically being brought into it, when the actual issue is surely around men joining, rather than TM (women) joining, or TW, who would fall under that bracket of men joining anyway.

@Backbee

I align with the biological reality that transmen are women and transwomen are men. I still don't get OPs point and why they are specifically being brought into it, when the actual issue is surely around men joining, rather than TM (women) joining, or TW, who would fall under that bracket of men joining anyway.

I think you're purposefully being obtuse.

I have said numerous times, the question was about transmen and transwomen joining a breastfeeding support group.
It was not about males in general as it specifically mentioned transmen and transwomen.

So far we've had MtFs joining PCOS support forums and telling women there to use inclusive language.

What a sick joke this would is becoming.

Your title is literally 'wants to allow males'. Transmen are not male, so your thread should have been wants to allow trans people.

@Backbee

Your title is literally 'wants to allow males'. Transmen are not male, so your thread should have been wants to allow trans people.

I then clarified it quite a few times.

I suggest you rtft

[quote HotGlueGun]@Duckwit actually that's not true. It IS possible for a transman to have chest surgery and still breastfeed. Yes they are biologically women but they present as MALE. Why would they want to be there? [/quote]
Presumably for the same reason they wanted to give birth and breastfeed a baby at all?

It was not about males in general as it specifically mentioned transmen and transwomen.

So why did both your thread title and your OP specifically only say 'males'? You didn't mention transmen/transwomen at all?

@Duckwit

It was not about males in general as it specifically mentioned transmen and transwomen.

So why did both your thread title and your OP specifically only say 'males'? You didn't mention transmen/transwomen at all?

Rtft