What do men think of mixed-sex toilets?

[NatalDrag]

The mixed-sexed toilet debate is usually centred around the fact that women don't want to share safe spaces with men. However, I wonder why the opinions of men aren't include more in the debate?

I was talking to my partner about this issue last night. He works in a university, and in his department's building, most toilets are now mixed-sex (self contained toilets, similar to disabled toilets, not cubicles). Despite offering lots of privacy, he doesn't like these toilets as he says it's awkward standing in line for the toilet alongside young women. He feels like he's doing something wrong. He then added that if it was an open-plan toilet with cubicles, he doesn't think he could even go in without feeling awkward.

Thinking about it, most men I know would probably feel the same way. I was wondering if anyone here had any thoughts on this point?

So that's how you feel User. Other men on this thread have been able to express empathy for women who feel uncomfortable using mixed sex facilities. That also has an impact on their view. I wonder if you feel any empathy for the many woman who do?

I am a student where one new building offers only mixed sex toilets.

Its lovely to look at, a large open space with floor length mirrors surrounded by cubicles that contain handwashing facilities. there are no urinals. Great huh?
Well no actually, most students avoid using them at all. Everyone (male and female) I have talked to hates them but daren't speak out for fear of being labelled a bigot.
As a female they do not feel safe. There are no cameras in the main area and it is easy to imagine an assault taking place in a closed cubicle.
To top it off, some delightful young male decided to knock one off in the cubicle next to me .
But hey, its progression right?

Simply because I genuinely don’t know anyone who would have an issue with it so am trying to understand why some men would

I'm still puzzled why you think whether or not one is privately educated and the system which applies to some outdoor events has any relevance to what people might prefer in everyday office and leisure situations.

I can't actually make head nor tail of what you're trying to say - and I'm one the few people who prefer mixed sex (depending on the set-up)

That sounds like a horrible experience equus How comfortable would you feel raising your concerns with the Uni authorities and asking for cameras to be installed? Not very I'm guessing? x

@DidoLamenting

Simply because I genuinely don’t know anyone who would have an issue with it so am trying to understand why some men would

I'm still puzzled why you think whether or not one is privately educated and the system which applies to some outdoor events has any relevance to what people might prefer in everyday office and leisure situations.

I can't actually make head nor tail of what you're trying to say - and I'm one the few people who prefer mixed sex (depending on the set-up)

I explained that.

I wondered if the men who had an issue with it (which is what op asked) had been bought up in primarily male environments and if that might make them feel differently about sharing a queue with people of the opposite sex.

I was raised in a mixed sex school, had four sisters and a mum and my Nan at home and it really wouldn’t bother me. I wondered if these men had been raised differently

There needs to be a proper statistical study I think.

And then weight the results; there is a difference between those with a mild preference ... and those unable to use mixed sex facilities...

I mentioned up thread that my small people had to go in the gents when they were with the dad. DD wore the clothes her brother outgrew, plus sometimes pink my mum bought. In a working class town (mixed sex schools) the pink would cause men of all ages enormous alarm.

@HecatesCats I raised the issue in an anonymous way and requested that they did. Due to covid I've not been back there since March but I doubt anything would change. Its the Student Union building so sells alcohol at night only magnifying my concerns about safety

I get claustrophobic in self contained cubicles I have a fear the lock won't turn and I'll be locked in. Happened to me once. I prefer normal cubicles with space underneath and over hence single sex toilets are preferable

[quote equuscaballus]@HecatesCats I raised the issue in an anonymous way and requested that they did. Due to covid I've not been back there since March but I doubt anything would change. Its the Student Union building so sells alcohol at night only magnifying my concerns about safety[/quote]
I can well imagine. I hope other women have added their voices in order to protect each other. There are clear safeguarding issues here.

Simply because I genuinely don’t know anyone who would have an issue with it so am trying to understand why some men would

Empathy for women and manners. Sorry you don't know any men with those values.

Since one of id the advocates of mixed sex loos thinks a woman being raped is “hilarious” that should serve as an example of why missed loos are a safety issue

That should of course be mixed loos

@Eowynthewarrior

Since one of id the advocates of mixed sex loos thinks a woman being raped is “hilarious” that should serve as an example of why missed loos are a safety issue

Grow up

I didn’t say that.

I didn’t even say I was an advocate of mixed loos, I said I didn’t understand why men felt uncomfortable stood in a queue with girls and women.

I said it was hilarious that someone thought mixed loos would mean the risk of someone being dragged into a cubicle and raped was increased. If anything it’s the opposite.

I doubt the sign on the door is going to make the sort of animal that rapes someone change their mind or rethink their thought process.

So what about the empathy question User? As I pointed out, knowing that many women are uncomfortable in mixed sex loos has informed the view of men on this thread. How does knowing that affect you? How do you feel when you read the testimony of a young woman who had to listen to a strange man masturbate in the next cubicle?

Due to a sudden plumbing catastrophe in the gents loo at work, the ladies loo had to become unisex for a few days. The men all hated it. They all looked really uncomfortable.

So user how many women rape other women ?

How many women are attacked by other women in single sex toilets

@HecatesCats

So what about the empathy question User? As I pointed out, knowing that many women are uncomfortable in mixed sex loos has informed the view of men on this thread. How does knowing that affect you? How do you feel when you read the testimony of a young woman who had to listen to a strange man masturbate in the next cubicle?

I have empathy for everyone.

I have been in the gents and had random women walk in a do a “penis inspection”. It’s not only men who can be tests and make the other sex feel uncomfortable.

@Eowynthewarrior

So user how many women rape other women ? How many women are attacked by other women in single sex toilets

Really?

You think if someone was of the mental persuasion and mindset that they were going to be disgusting enough to rape someone, that they would only do that if they were already in the same bathroom queue?

A rapist is a rapist. He isn’t going to think twice about raping someone anywhere because he is the scum of the earth

Rapists tend to want not to get caught and mixed sex loos with closed cubicles are the perfect opportunity. As you said user you wouldn’t call security if you heard people having sex in a loo cubical. So how do you know it is consensual ... and you clearly can’t empathise with the fear of a woman stood in a dimly lit corridor waiting for a loo thinking is the guy behind her a pervert and realising he has an opportunity . That chap who did feel awkward appears to have greater understanding and empathy of how women and girls feel and how situations which appear innocuous to machismo guys can feel very different to physically vulnerable women.

And any man who responds to a woman’s post with ‘grow up’ probably needs to reflect on their manners themselves

@Eowynthewarrior

Rapists tend to want not to get caught and mixed sex loos with closed cubicles are the perfect opportunity. As you said user you wouldn’t call security if you heard people having sex in a loo cubical. So how do you know it is consensual ... and you clearly can’t empathise with the fear of a woman stood in a dimly lit corridor waiting for a loo thinking is the guy behind her a pervert and realising he has an opportunity . That chap who did feel awkward appears to have greater understanding and empathy of how women and girls feel and how situations which appear innocuous to machismo guys can feel very different to physically vulnerable women.

And any man who responds to a woman’s post with ‘grow up’ probably needs to reflect on their manners themselves

Oh come on.

If they are waiting in a queue there are either other people in the bathroom already or a queue of people to get in. Therefore it’s going to be reported if someone grabs someone and pulls them into a cubicle. In fact, I would argue having other men there makes it less likely that some dirty peeve would risk it for fear of being beaten up of spotted

'Rapists gonna rape' isn't an argument for giving them more access to women in spaces where they might be alone or vulnerable in other ways. It's basic safeguarding. The vast majority of sexual assaults in the UK are carried out by men. We put protections in place for women because some men rape, even though not all men do. The vast majority of paedophiles are men, but not all men are paedophiles, we put child safeguarding measures in place to protect children from the ones who are. We don't say some men are going to molest children whatever you do, because they're bad people, let's not bother with DBS checks. Let's ask ourselves who benefits from women and girls not having private single sex spaces and work back from there.

@HecatesCats

'Rapists gonna rape' isn't an argument for giving them more access to women in spaces where they might be alone or vulnerable in other ways. It's basic safeguarding. The vast majority of sexual assaults in the UK are carried out by men. We put protections in place for women because some men rape, even though not all men do. The vast majority of paedophiles are men, but not all men are paedophiles, we put child safeguarding measures in place to protect children from the ones who are. We don't say some men are going to molest children whatever you do, because they're bad people, let's not bother with DBS checks. Let's ask ourselves who benefits from women and girls not having private single sex spaces and work back from there.

That’s a hell of a leap you have taken there

Is that really how you think in real life? Must be very depressing.

*That’s a hell of a leap you have taken there

Is that really how you think in real life? Must be very depressing.*

What is safeguarding User? Why does it exist?

I'm pleased that you live a life so blithely unconcerned about such matters. I wish we didn't have to worry about things like this:

UNISEX CHANGING ROOMS PUT WOMEN AT DANGER OF SEXUAL ASSAULT, DATA REVEALS

www.independent.co.uk/life-style/women/sexual-assault-unisex-changing-rooms-sunday-times-women-risk-a8519086.html

I said it was hilarious that someone thought mixed loos would mean the risk of someone being dragged into a cubicle and raped was increased. If anything it’s the opposite.

Your assertion is "what I reckon" nonsense. Evidence suggests that sexual assaults are higher in mixed sex spaces.

Also, sexual assault is not the only harm. You ignore sexual harassment, voyeurism, indecent exposure, forcing women to take part in sexual fantasies, if a man gets off on being sexually inappropriate and making women and girls uncomfortable. As a not inconsiderable number of them do.