What do men think of mixed-sex toilets?

[NatalDrag]

The mixed-sexed toilet debate is usually centred around the fact that women don't want to share safe spaces with men. However, I wonder why the opinions of men aren't include more in the debate?

I was talking to my partner about this issue last night. He works in a university, and in his department's building, most toilets are now mixed-sex (self contained toilets, similar to disabled toilets, not cubicles). Despite offering lots of privacy, he doesn't like these toilets as he says it's awkward standing in line for the toilet alongside young women. He feels like he's doing something wrong. He then added that if it was an open-plan toilet with cubicles, he doesn't think he could even go in without feeling awkward.

Thinking about it, most men I know would probably feel the same way. I was wondering if anyone here had any thoughts on this point?

The men I work with find them uncomfortable and weird. One department where we are has mixed sex toilets and the men always stand outside if they know a woman’s gone in or there will be a conflation between the sexes “you lot go first then we will” sort of thing. There’s even a shower in there!

Conflab not conflation

Many of them have a fear of women making baseless allegations against them.

I see this a lot

The most depressing one has to be DSS though. Asked what he thought about this mixed sex loos/changing rooms and he said no way. Because that would leave me open to all sorts of false accusations

my husband is really embarrassed to use mixed sex loos, personally I don't care that much if it's a busy loo but they're often really dirty and smelly which I do care about!

Those of us who work with teenagers know that boys and girls also hate mixed sex toilets (let alone changing rooms). The idea that schools impose these on them despite knowing how sensitive teenagers are about their bodies, puberty etc is awful.
As has already been pointed out, decent men (and women) with empathy for others just don't go around forcing others to share toilets. Evidently there's a significant rise in the numbers of men lacking in empathy and common decency and worryingly they appear to be in positions of influence.

In my experience neither men nor women think this is a good idea. In my view mixed toilets only exist so the 0.00whatever % of the population that are a bit of both dont feel uncomfortable.

My Nigel was enormously uncomfortable with the idea of mixed-sex toilets. He was very clear that he wanted toilets for women and toilets for men to be separate. Tbh I think he feels his privacy is impinged upon by women being in the toilet. He does not have the slightest compunction at sharing a toilet with any male, no matter their sexuality or presentation.

My Nigel is exactly the same.

I also thought the Equality Act meant that employers and educational establishments had to provide toilet facilities for both sexes.

Not the Equality Act, different legislation, but you're right, unless they are single facilities.

They didn't want to use a urinal while women were coming out of cubicles beside them or washing their hands at the sink.

Outrageous that they would have urinals in unisex toilets. It's bad enough having a mixed sex facility with separate cubicles but urinals in full view?

That said, it's heartening that so many men are sensitive to the issue, even if it is for selfish reasons rather than consideration for women and girls. I'm not so sure how widespread this male modesty is. Both my girls have had first jobs in a local pub, and duties include checking the (single sex) loos. Both have experienced men coming in "Don't mind me love" and peeing in the urinal in front of them whilst they have been cleaning in the men's. Perhaps the alcohol lowers inhibitions. Maybe they would be more circumspect in the office unisex.

I hate the idea of mixed toilets. The way I see it if people are not going to have privacy then why not go all the way and put the urinals in the corridor to save time.

Really the whole idea was ridiculous. Now the government have stepped in I'm hoping for a return to sanity and separate toilets.

Both have experienced men coming in "Don't mind me love" and peeing in the urinal in front of them whilst they have been cleaning in the men's.

Same here, when I was a teenager

No decent man would use a urinal in front of a woman or a girl. Doesn’t that drive a coach and horses through our law on indecent exposure ? And for the owners of buildings that install such facilities are they not aiding and abetting the commission of the offence. No woman or girl should have to share a facility where they are exposed to naked male genitalia and no man or boy should be put in the position where they have to expose their genitalia to women . Its an affront to human dignity for both sexes indeed I think urinals are undignified for men and boys as well but that is a fight for them to take up

Also the “solution” of single mixed sex cubicles is unlikely to work. Most are far too small for people with prams and pushchairs and the washbasin inside is too near the toilet to be hygienic. Faecal bacteria can spray six feet when the loo is flushed. This never seems to get mentioned so the handbasin is dirty and in a small cubicle the door and door handle being too near the loo .so you wash your hands in the basin but contaminate them coming out. That’s why washbasins outside the loos are more hygienic. Plus it’s social pressure ..to make people wash hands .

I'm a male uni student and bloody hate them! They've popped up all over the place over the last few years on campus and nobody who isnt some nutty campaigner actually likes them or thinks they're a good idea. Unfortunately nobody is going to call bs on them because we know we'll get accused of being some sort of bigot, so people just dont bother. The state of them at closing time is grim, loads of drunk students are gonna 'mis-aim' normally it's not an issues as youd just use the urinal, but I just feel sorry for my female friends who are essentially forced to use a gents toilet.

No decent man would use a urinal in front of a woman or a girl

One of the first threads I ever posted on was an AIBU about the acceptable age for boys to be in the ladies' loo / was it ever acceptable for father to take a small daughter into the ladies.

I commented that it was more difficult for fathers as they would not want to take their daughters into a urinal. Well what a kicking I got. I was a prude , a pearl- clutcher- what was there to see, what on earth was the problem.

This post from PostItJoy....
There is a self identified transwoman (no GRC) in my workplace who uses the gents. The men made a point of telling her they would give her no bother in the gents shower room and toilets. It has all been fine.

The men also made it quietly known that they'd expect the women to do the same if a transman were employed because the men would feel uncomfortable with a female in the gents.
...is exactly how it should be. Made me feel a bit emotional because this whole mess could be sorted out so easily if people were only sodding reasonable about it. But no there are some men/transwomen who feel that invading single sex spaces is the way to go. Most sensible people, whether male or female aren’t comfortable in mixed sex spaces. So why the fuck do we have to move over for the unreasonable few?

@andyoldlabour

It shouldn't come as a surprise to anyone on here (given my views on TW in women's sport and prisons), that I just don't agree with mixed toilets. I also thought the Equality Act meant that employers and educational establishments had to provide toilet facilities for both sexes.

It's actually health and safety legislation: Workplace (Health, Safety and Welfare) Regulations 1992 – Regulation 20, Sanitary conveniences: separate rooms containing conveniences are provided for men and women except where and so far as each convenience is in a separate room the door of which is capable of being secured from inside.

So unless they are self enclosed like disabled toilets, communal toilets need to be single sex, because the legal definition of man and woman are still based on sex.

Interestingly if a workplace has women then the requirements for toilets are higher than if all male.
bakerstuart.com/guides-officetoiletprovision/

My dc went into the gents. My Nigel is a large bloke and was certainly able to protect them in a male space... he was able to angle the pushchair to give everyone some privacy whilst he used the urinal. He was comfortable doing this. Other men were clearly not comfortable (surprised) with small people’s presence.
Urinals are much quicker for men than cubicles and probably easier to keep clean, so that would be a consideration...

I absolutely hate them and avoid if at all possible. I don't even like the single cubicles as, in my (admittedly limited) experience they are invariably filthy.

I would be surprised if a male in male toilet was uncomfortable with a small person's presence, unless the small person was female.

I was embarrassed at a wedding reception to hear the woman in the cubicle next to me peeing - even though I knew it was my wife.

It just seemed like I was violating her dignity.
(we talked about it afterwards)

To be honest, I’m not even comfortable with female cleaners hanging about whilst I am using a public loo. My diabetes medication tends to mess up my stomach, and I am very self-conscious about the noise I make.

Even at the urinals I feel uneasy about having female cleaners mopping the floor around me while I pee - it just feels inappropriate.

@NatalDrag

The mixed-sexed toilet debate is usually centred around the fact that women don't want to share safe spaces with men. However, I wonder why the opinions of men aren't include more in the debate?

I was talking to my partner about this issue last night. He works in a university, and in his department's building, most toilets are now mixed-sex (self contained toilets, similar to disabled toilets, not cubicles). Despite offering lots of privacy, he doesn't like these toilets as he says it's awkward standing in line for the toilet alongside young women. He feels like he's doing something wrong. He then added that if it was an open-plan toilet with cubicles, he doesn't think he could even go in without feeling awkward.

Thinking about it, most men I know would probably feel the same way. I was wondering if anyone here had any thoughts on this point?

The mixed loos at DH’s workplace are more disgusting than the men’s - blood, poo, urine on the seats because women that work there tend to be disgusting.

My partner has had them in a couple of his workplaces. He doesn't like it. He's felt really awkward in them. If a woman was in there already he will walk out as he doesn't want them to feel uncomfortable.

We have mixed sex toilets at work with single sex cubicles and the men always seem to use the women's cubicles for poos, which really pissed off the female cleaner. She is vociferous in front of the whole office on this one

I know my husband hates them. He’s not even keen on using urinals and generally uses the cubicle in the gents, but if it was mixed sex he’d probably not use a cubicle for a pee so he wouldn’t be blocking a woman from using it. He’s definitely the sort of person who would go up a few extra flights of stairs to avoid a unisex loo.

No one likes or wants mixed sex toilets, so why are they being built?

No one likes or wants mixed sex toilets, so why are they being built?

That’s a very good question @OrigamiPenguinArmy