Very naive and uneducated in this topic...please can you help me before I challenge the school?

[copernicium]

14yo DD came home injured from school, saying a boy threw her across the room as she was winning against him in PE. I was confused about this, as as far as I am aware, PE was single sex.

It turns out that three boys do PE with them, as they "don't like doing it with the boys". A little digging by messaging other parents, who were also unaware, and then asking their child, reveals that "it's the gay boys as they don't like getting muddy and wet".

Additionally, there is conversation about a transitioning female who uses the male changing room.

I've looked at the school policies and there is nothing regarding any of this.

I've emailed the school asking what their policy / risk assessment / safeguarding position is with this, as to me it feels like a few boys are getting special treatment and then using this to hurt girls. I'm worried that at this age, boys could actually have the potential to hurt girls if they are playing sport together.

The year head is calling me today so any advice regarding actual law or what is the norm would be greatly appreciated.

Oh god, I honestly have no idea what to advise but this is my worst nightmare. If you say it's inappropriate for the boys to be in PE with the girls, you'll probably get told you're being homophobic/unfair etc. I would definitely flag the issue that the boys ARE stronger, bigger etc and that therefore there are risks for the girls but I am not convinced you're going to have any joy on that. I have a friend who honestly doesn't get this issue of boys in girls sports - she thinks that because Serena Williams can beat 99% of men at tennis, the issue doesn't exist.

I also think you should be asking why the girls should be uncomfortable to accommodate the boys is okay with the school, but again, I'm not very optimistic.

Good luck.

I know. I feel like I'm just going to be told it's the 21st century and to get a grip.

Maybe if it was all boys with all girls this would be different...but just a handful getting special treatment seems a bit odd.

DD is absolutely tiny. But she's also very tough. So for her to even share a concern is not like her.

They are likely to say that sex/gender is a red herring in this situation as the school is mixed in other areas.

I would focus more on how they can guarantee she will be safe in the future and what consequences they intend to impose.

Ask them about the risk assessments they've done before deciding to allow post-puberty male students to compete against girls and whether their insurance covers injury during mixed sex sports sessions, or whether you will need to sue the school directly.

I would also threaten to call the police. Throwing someone across a room is assault. I've never understood why things are condoned in schools that would result in a prosecution elsewhere.

Safeguarding issue as boys are stronger than girls. Could have caused injury. How can they ensure it doesn't happen again? Do insurers know. Do formally complain to get it on record.

Yes this! It's likely this will be dismissed as it wasn't a severe injury, but it's the what ifs and the fact we didn't know this was happening.

I've asked about their risk assessment in my initial email but good points about insurance.

In my eyes, the issue is the misbehaving boy who doesn't know right from wrong, rather than mixed PE lessons. He's obviously a little s* who would take the opportunity to hurt your DD whether he's in a PE class or not.

Do they play any contact sports at all - take the concept of ‘contact’ widely. Looking at a number of comments around the decision by Rugby Union to allow transwomen to play with women which have said that girls could not play in boys rugby teams after a certain age, around 13 I think.

There may be an issue around motivating girls in sport, historically participation drops off after primary school. If they are competing against boys who have / are going through puberty may be demotivating. Depends on the level of competitive sport.

The key though is that this boy reacted physically to her winning - so what are they going to do to make sure she is safe in the future.

I don't have any specialist useful advice, just moral support.

It amazes me sometimes how incompetent sports teaching can be in schools. In mixed sex contact sports training for teens (e.g martial arts), coaches have always been, ime, hot on

1. safety,
2. not letting post-pubertal boys mash the girls and
3. kicking out kids who don't respect the rest of the class.

I’ve never known a school to do separate PE lessons it’s is mixed all the way through secondary school unless you are playing for a dedicated school team after school. So I don’t see an issue with mixed lessons. The behaviour needs to be addressed though as that is not acceptable.

Yes I agree with GCAcademic. Ask to see the risk assessment. Ask what adjustments have been made to the single-sex lessons to ensure the safety of girls from post-puberty boys. Ask how they are monitoring the impact of this change in lesson delivery - specifically, how are they recording injuries to girls and how many injuries like the one your daughter suffered are needed before they will remove the post-puberty boys from the girls' lessons. Ask to see their safeguarding policy.

And follow up your conversation with an email. Get everything written down.

I'd ask directly why the boys are in the class. Nothing to do with sexual preference, but if your daughter decides she doesn't like maths as it's too boring, will she be moved to extra English instead?
I appreciate things will have changed from early 2000s when I was in school, but no child got a preference in what the lessons were back then other than the subjects they chose. Girls and boys got freezing, muddy and wet in PE at the same rates. Bit sexist /giving in to stereotypes if they think gay males and females can't handle a bit of mud surely?!

Ask why the segregate in the first place? Is it because of sex, feelings identity?

If there aren’t physical differences between the sexes then why segregation, of there are then where are the policies and risk assessments to show mixed sex is either not unfair or unsafe.

Oh, and it doesn't matter whether everyone else's school has mixed sex PE lessons (mine weren't, by the way). This school has designed lessons to be taught in single sex classes - it might be useful to know why they made that decision? - and therefore changes will need to be made if you are now introducing a handful of boys into the class.

I would also want to know on what basis these boys have been admitted - who made the judgement that they should be allowed to do PE in the girls' class, and what criteria did they use?

On a quick Google search on the law, l found the school has a duty of care, they should act before a child is injured, they should reprimand the child, tell his parents and he can have consequenes. Think like a lawyer, get the facts, be specific about this case and ask for above points to be addressed.

You could put the ball in their court by asking questions.

Why were the sexes separated to start with?
What has changed to make this no longer necessary?
How does the presence of boys in their sports lessons benefit girls?
My daughter is tiny. Mixed sex sport with post pubertal boys carries risk of injury. I cannot consent to this. Why was I not informed?
Also:
Gay boys are not girls. Why is the school encouraging such homophobia?
Why are the girls not outside getting muddy?

I personally think unless it was contact competitive sport that the boy/girl issue is a non issue.

You need to address how your child was ‘thrown across a room’ in a supervised PE lesson and what on earth they’re doing about it....

Gay boys are not girls. Why is the school encouraging such homophobia?
Why are the girls not outside getting muddy?

This.

@Angel2702
I'm shocked that your experience is schools having mixed lessons - including hockey/football etc??
There is a clear difference in physical advantage. It's the first I've heard of post pubescent boys playing against girls in these sports.

Ok so the boys don't like or with the other boys what happens to the girls who don't like me with boys-where's their session and rights?
This crap winds me up -its not right.

Can I just suggest that you write yourself a sticky note before the phone call to remind yourself - do not agree with anything the Head says or make reassuring noises. You are asking for information, you don't want to give the impression that you are satisfied or that you agree with their position. Tell them that you will be seeing further information from other sources and that you are not happy about the situation and you reserve the right to complain formally.

I've never heard if a secondary school that has mixed pe lessons.

Mine certainly didn't as I remember being thoroughly pissed off at never doing rugby.

Although we did have a boy join the hockey team for practice. I have first had experience of how bad an idea that was by way of a massive bruise on my shin from a very hard hit with a hockey ball from half way down tbe pitch. Guess I was lucky it was my leg not ny head. Never hurt like that playing with ir against girls.

That school is homphobic. And what happened to saying no ffs. I hated cross country I still had to do it.i didn't get chucked over to the boys lesson ....

Its homphobic to assume gay guys need to be able to do things that no one else would even if its against safeguarding....

Y aren't the boys being made to be more accommodating

copernicium if you contact Safe Schools Alliance UK then I am sure that they will help. They have a great understanding of the safeguarding and equality implications of mixed-sex spaces and sport etc. I am sure they will be able to advise you about how to proceed and what the school should be doing.

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/safeschoolsallianceuk.net/contact/%3famp

I’m very disappointed in many of these replies. If mixed sex sport is not an issue then P.E. should be fully mixed, all boys and all girls. There shouldn’t be a special category of male who has special treatment, almost like they aren’t really males and are more like females. This is how we get to the illogicality of ‘transwomen are women’.