Very naive and uneducated in this topic...please can you help me before I challenge the school?

[copernicium]

14yo DD came home injured from school, saying a boy threw her across the room as she was winning against him in PE. I was confused about this, as as far as I am aware, PE was single sex.

It turns out that three boys do PE with them, as they "don't like doing it with the boys". A little digging by messaging other parents, who were also unaware, and then asking their child, reveals that "it's the gay boys as they don't like getting muddy and wet".

Additionally, there is conversation about a transitioning female who uses the male changing room.

I've looked at the school policies and there is nothing regarding any of this.

I've emailed the school asking what their policy / risk assessment / safeguarding position is with this, as to me it feels like a few boys are getting special treatment and then using this to hurt girls. I'm worried that at this age, boys could actually have the potential to hurt girls if they are playing sport together.

The year head is calling me today so any advice regarding actual law or what is the norm would be greatly appreciated.

I imagine that he body barged her or pushed her as part of a game, not realising that she would go flying rather than he picked her up bodily and threw her in a temper

That's not what the OP says.

@Whatwouldscullydo

Aaah your of the "girls should just try harder" camp

Got it...

Ha ha. I imagine you know very little about women's football. Shame, as it's a great sport.

Be even greater if men didnt feel entitled to join it

They don't, after the age of 16.

Oh they do..

Actually it is now until 18.

It's beneficial to the women's game, whether you like it or not.

After 18 (and usually before), women's teams are single sex.

If you are talking about transwomen, that's a different issue.

@Janevaljane

They don't, after the age of 16.

What reason is given for that change at sixteen?

After 18 (and usually before), women's teams are single sex.

Same question - why?

My 14 year old boy is 160cm and 47kg, I would be a closer physical match for him than some boys his age, and I am smaller than many schoolgirls.

The 14 yr old school girls I know are all 5'8+ and weigh at least 10stone if not more! I can't imagine many 14yr old boys are only 7 stone. My 6 yr old weighs 5stone (and is in no way fat, he's very sporty)

OP - I agree with all those that say, deal with why she was assaulted first - and it wasn't dealt with.

Then it's about why are they in the class - surely girls should be getting muddy too!

We are talking school pe lessons here . They kids have no choice about attending them. And they rely on the adults to uphold safguarding. There is no gain to the girls here and the school is being homphobic by not allowing or not making those boys play with the others. Just like all the other kids who hate the sport of choice that day have to

I left school in 1975 and the only sport which was mixed was rounders. One of the 14 year old boys - 6feet tall - broke the PE teacher's nose during an altercation.
The OP's daughter and all the other girls should not have to put up with this.

@IwishNothingButTheBestForYou2

After 18 (and usually before), women's teams are single sex.

Same question - why?

Because then women can concentrate on the women's game, I presume.

The point is that mixed sex football is totally a thing and not the spawn of Satan. Football isn't as full contact as rugby and skill gets you a long way. So although mixed sex PE at schools is more risky (less skill, more mixed abilities), there's no real reason why a couple of boys in the class (what sport if its not outside? Dance? Gym? Basketball?) should be dangerous per se.

If their policy is to segregate PE by sex, then that is what they should do. Bending the rules for a few on the basis of sexuality (wtf?!) is utterly ridiculous. Either the difference in physique between boys and girls matters at 14 or it doesn't.

@lazylinguist

If their policy is to segregate PE by sex, then that is what they should do. Bending the rules for a few on the basis of sexuality (wtf?!) is utterly ridiculous. Either the difference in physique between boys and girls matters at 14 or it doesn't.

Yes, I do agree if that's their official policy. I don't think its law for schools to do it across the board though.

When DD1 started secondary she was told they'd never have PE with the boys again - by next year she was having occasional mixed PE lessons and DS has had a few.

The PE department does seem to limit this to less contact activates - so it's gym equipment, swimming, tennis, aerobics, gymnastics and not rugby or hockey.

We weren't informed of any changes and my children don't seem bothered but mixed PE suddenly started happening.

If this was one of mine I'd have some questions about risk assessments and how they'd ensure my child wasn't assaulted in their lessons again.

@StarUtopia

My 14 year old boy is 160cm and 47kg, I would be a closer physical match for him than some boys his age, and I am smaller than many schoolgirls.

The 14 yr old school girls I know are all 5'8+ and weigh at least 10stone if not more! I can't imagine many 14yr old boys are only 7 stone. My 6 yr old weighs 5stone (and is in no way fat, he's very sporty)

That's why, while I support sex segregation in PE, I also think smaller boys can be at risk of being injured too. DS certainly isn't the smallest boy in his year but the thought of him playing rugby with boys built like men is a worry.

The PE department does seem to limit this to less contact activates - so it's gym equipment, swimming, tennis, aerobics, gymnastics and not rugby or hockey

This seems fair enough. Girls and boys sometimes enjoy spending time together doing PE

The 14 yr old school girls I know are all 5'8+ and weigh at least 10stone

Really? My 15yo dd is just under 5'5" and about average for the girls in her year. She is slim, like many of them. I don't know what she weighs, but there's no way she's anywhere close to 10 stone. I'm guessing more like 8.

The 14 yr old school girls I know are all 5'8+ and weigh at least 10stone

Not here they dont. Dd is 14, 5' 9" and weighs 8.5 stone.

And she's tall!

I thought that sex separation at puberty was essentially bio-banding level 1. Level 2 is when you ensure that people of similar size and height are placed together, particularly in contact sports.

While I am all for gender equality, there are still sex differences and safety should have the first and last word on this. I am still dismayed that level 2 bio-banding is still uncommon.

This seems fair enough. Girls and boys sometimes enjoy spending time together doing PE

I don't think there was any consultation with pupils or parents it just started happening - but as it seems sensibly managed and it's not bothering my children so fair enough.

@Angel2702

I’ve never known a school to do separate PE lessons it’s is mixed all the way through secondary school unless you are playing for a dedicated school team after school. So I don’t see an issue with mixed lessons. The behaviour needs to be addressed though as that is not acceptable.

My DD’s mixed secondary school has PE separate for boys and girls.

Jane I think you're mixing up what is beneficial to girls with some (or high) levels of skill in football with what's beneficial to all girls within a school PE class.

I say this as someone who played women's football at university and later as a Sunday league player, and also played huge amounts of mixed 5-a-side (often as the only woman on the pitch, sometimes in formal league settings where there were rules on the maximum number of men a team could field at any one time). Playing mixed football was massively beneficial to my skills.

But it would be horrendous in school PE lessons where the aim is not to produce the "Lionesses of the future" (this is already done by the club structure) but to foster a love of sport and physical fitness which will carry pupils through the rest of their lives, helping them to keep fit. In this context, an insistence on a mixed football lesson would just leave 90% of the girls shivering on the sidelines while the boys (and a handful of girls like your daughter) got stuck in playing with each other.

If on the other hand, you produce a reasonably ability-appropriate setting and let girls who have maybe grown up thinking "football is for boys" try it out where they can make mistakes, have people pass them the ball, not worry about having their feet swept from under them by a badly timed tackle, they may find (as I did first time I stepped onto a 5-a-side pitch at a friend's suggestion) that this is a fabulous game.

It's certainly not that girls can't play football - but probably most of them won't have played football, and to throw them into a setting where the other half of the class have (mostly) played obsessively since they were old enough to walk, will not help them learn the game.