She’s not a mother - she’s non binary [eye roll]

[tiktok]

Sorry - ridiculous and sad.

the-motherload.co.uk/ive-given-birth-but-i-am-not-my-childrens-mother-where-do-i-belong/?fbclid=IwAR311k--soiBMnxt72quS3VhWYQsiRp1DkLIx5gY_wLKSwIJ767lWI3sonY

I do have to put my hand up here and say that some women are mothers who haven’t given birth and some women are mothers even though they didn’t get to raise their children.

That said, if you pushed a baby out of your vagina then you are a mother, even if that was the last contact you had with that child, even if you don’t want to be a mother.

I think it is Boby not Baby. Presumably it's a version of her name, like My kids call me Suzy not mum

@SamsMumsCateracts

Those poor children will have a lifetime of therapy ahead of them.

And then their non binary non mother parent can wail on social media about how they are bigots who don't respect her reality, and lots of other special attention seekers can tell her that she is absolutely right to be annoyed as she clearly sacrificed so much for them. Ta da. Extra validation!

@TorkTorkBam

There is no one definition of motherhood, no one way to become a mother, or be a mother.

Yes, yes there is. You grow a baby in your uterus.

I know it's not the point of the thread, but adoptive parents would disagree.

I'm blown away that someone with 2 small children has the energy and time to bother with all this.

I started typing what I think but realised I'd probably see the blunt side of the MNHQ ban hammer.

What a lot of utter self absorbed piffle....

I hope "their" children have some seriously good close relatives to provide some sanity against the boby bullshit.

I'm reminded (yet again) of speaking to a trans woman work college in a social capacity who was bemoaning the fact their teen children had found their mid life transition hard and the relationship was "strained".

The focus was very much on how it was "harder" for them and essentially they were the same person (something their children needed to wake up to) ....

Yup the "same person" and I had to bite my lip thinking except obviously having a new name, not wanting to be called Dad, having lied to them them about apparently wanting to be a woman since before they were born, having a new trans partner and unceremoniously dumping the children's mother, cutting off maintenance because the kids didn't want to visit the new love nest etc etc.

Narcissistic tendencies seem to run very deep with supporters of gender ideology...

@UpperLowercaseSymbolNumber

I’m going to go out on a limb here and suggest that the writer has issues.

I wouldn't exactly say I was an expert, but I'm inclined to agree with you.

@TorkTorkBam

There is no one definition of motherhood, no one way to become a mother, or be a mother.

Yes, yes there is. You grow a baby in your uterus.

Fair point about adoptive parents, however, it is still true to say that anyone who grew a baby in their uterus and had a live birth is a mother. That is definitely a solid definition.

Boby was just trolling. No parents has the t8me to think this stuff or write this stuff

Just a wee dude trolling

What a load of utter bollocks. Nonsensical rubbish.

I wonder if this person spends as much energy on their children's emotional needs as they do on their own.

Quite!

What kind of horrific hatred of women and specifically mothers must you have to say:

‘I find pregnancy to be powerful. It is badass, it is exhilarating, I would do it again in a heartbeat. But it does not make me a woman.’

If ever there was a case of internalised misogyny then this has to be it. It's heartbreaking that someone is trying so hard to find themselves and love themselves that they have to completely dissociate from reality in order to achieve some semblance of it. Rather than just accepting that women are awesome, diverse, strong and badass, as are most mothers (biological/adoptive or foster too).

If people like this weren't harming children, I'd be able to really feel compassion. But as soon as they're messing around with their own children - using them as props - my compassion dries up.

Anyone who talks about themselves so much that they repeatedly say 'I' in one short essay (I lost count at about 71) identifies as self absorbed.

I'm interested to know why the writer feels unable to connect to the word woman or mother in particular. There's a lot more behind this post I think.

I and me feature a lot. Hate this shite

I had never heard of metagender until today, obviously a very special non-lady to eschew the plain old non-binary term too.

Are there not parent groups she could attend? At the toddler activities I attended it was about the kids and not the parents. It was mostly mothers who attended but there was one single dad and a few dads who just happened to care for their kids.

@Monkeypuddle sums it up for me. Shite 🙄

Absolute rubbish and twaddle, sign of these ridiculous times we live in.

WTAF?!?

It's a wind up for sure.

@TwelvetyOClock

Everything else aside... Three autobiographies? She's 27. How can you possibly get three autobiographies out of that?

I wondered that too. I also wonder who on earth buys them.

I haven’t found a single group dedicated to non-binary parents.

This is truly a modern day tragedy. #Sarcasm.

It's 2020 love, not 1720. Women don't have to claim to not be women in order to live as they want.

Dreadful.

@EstherLittle

I don’t understand how anyone with kids has enough spare time to do so much navel gazing.

This has to be comment of the week .

The first comment on that piece way to sum it up, my friend!

I am quickly approaching the end of my tether with this absurdity. I thought the piece was just exasperating piffle written by yet another numpty, until I got to the bit about trying to make her preschool aged children call her a new fuckwit name. As the mother (yes, I clearly embrace and identify with all feminine stereotypes ) of similarly aged children, I think that's actually bordering on emotional abuse tbh.

Well, under UK law she is a mother so that's that. The mother is the parent who gives birth. I found this whole piece very sad. It just smacks to me of 'I'm not like any of YOU silly moo cows who love gender roles and stereotypes! " I don't even see why the concept of 'mother' has to be so constraining. "Mother' describes a person who has given birth, as she has, or a female parent who has adopted.That's it. It doesn't say anything about gender, or identity. It's just a fact.