Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Feminism: chat

Original poster

Dd told off for skirt being 5cm above her knee..too distracting.

149 replies

Knowhowufeel2 · 09/09/2020 20:29

My almost 16yo dd was pulled aside by the headteacher this morning as it was deemed her skirt is too short.

She was told that it's indecent and distracting for male students/staff and is against school rules despite it being their own brand skirt. It's just 5cm above her knee and she wasn't rolling it up or anything. They've said she must buy another within 48hrs despite the fact buying another (which will be exactly the same) won't change where it comes to on my dd as they're all 1 standard length.

I've been told to expect a phone call to make sure we comply and a meeting if I disagree.

I'm not happy that a lot of this skirt rule comes about because it's deemed distracting to the male gaze.

Why should my dd be responsible for that?

Also, I don't actually consider it particularly short (5cm above her knee as I measured) and I'm not happy to spend £30 on another skirt that will be exactly the same length as the one she already has.

My dd is bright and hard working...her skirt length has no bearing on that.

The school seems more concerned about uniform than the fact that several of their teachers are not up to the job....eg, yesterday her geography teacher admitted that she didn't understand what she was teaching them and found it boring!!

Any ideas on how to approach this or am I being over sensitive?

OP posts:
dementedpixie · 09/09/2020 20:32

sounds ridiculous. Maybe they should teach the male pupils and staff to stop leering at the female pupils, or can they not control themselves?!

DianasLasso · 09/09/2020 20:32

Well, I hate uniform of all sorts, so I'm probably not the best person to ask. I'd go with complying with uniform rules, but then I'd...

ABSOLUTELY FUCKING RIP THEM A NEW ONE OVER SEXUALISING YOUR DAUGHTER! Angry

It is men's responsibility to control themselves, not women's responsibility to don long skirts/burkas/whatever crazy rule the patriarchy comes up with.

ThinEndoftheWedge · 09/09/2020 20:35

What Diana says.

Make a formal complaint.

Grobagsforever · 09/09/2020 20:36

Escalate to the governors immediately! This is OUTRAGEOUS

Longtalljosie · 09/09/2020 20:37

Is your daughter tall? Perhaps a diagram would help for them? Utter twats...

DianasLasso · 09/09/2020 20:38

Sorry for shouting. Have had mid-week glass of wine. But the whole crapolla about "not distracting the poor menz with their irresistible urges" really winds me up.

Did they actually say it would be distracting for the staff? Shock

I'd be asking whether they have actually vetted their staff in the normal way, and why they're employing hebephiles in a school.

Looneytune253 · 09/09/2020 20:40

Lol we had this with our dd a few years back. If a male teacher is distracted by a child's legs they're in the wrong job!!

Incidentally we also had a problem when they brought in super strict uniform as she was told she was showing too much ankle. She was wearing a SKIRT!!!

Lizzie523 · 09/09/2020 20:40

This happened to me in my final year of school 10 years ago. I still remember the shame I felt. It was awful.

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 09/09/2020 20:41

Perhaps all the girls should be issued with full length dresses, veils, face masks and be required to sit at the back of the room?

It's ridiculous. And knowing some teenage boys brains, the girls could be wearing the above and still be 'distracting'...

TheStarOnTheChristmasTree · 09/09/2020 20:48

I'm really shocked that he said it was distracting for male students/teachers. He should know better.

As for the skirt what does he expect you to do? I'm expecting a similar call about my DD (13). Her skirt is way too short but we have to buy them from school. The waistband on longer length skirt starts 4 inches bigger than my DD's waist so that won't work and even that skirt would be too short. DD is 5'10 and only 7 stone and she has very long legs. I don't have an answer but maybe the school will.

IdblowJonSnow · 09/09/2020 20:51

Ugh. What a wanker.
Complain and suggest he provides training to the staff who control themselves.
Let them call you and arrange a meeting. FGS!

MissLucyEyelesbarrow · 09/09/2020 20:53

If it wasn't for the fact that Muslim students might think she was taking the mick, I'd suggest sending her in a burqa.

slipperywhensparticus · 09/09/2020 20:54

ask them to put it in writing and there solutions to your child being too tall for their school uniform

TheFormerPorpentinaScamander · 09/09/2020 20:55

If male teachers are distracted by seeing children's legs they probably shouldn't be teachers!

midgebabe · 09/09/2020 20:56

Personally o don't think skirts above the knee are professional, which is the look I think school uniform is trying to achieve, but if the rationale is distracting to males , then all the females should wear short skirts until the males learn how to look at a female person

DryHeave · 09/09/2020 20:56

I’d be keen to ask them if they have an issue with their male staff* being distracted by underage girls?

*also big assumption they are all straight.

grey12 · 09/09/2020 20:59

I hate uniforms!

Send your daughter to school in a non-uniform shirt that is a bit longer

midgebabe · 09/09/2020 20:59

Perhaps you could clarify if by distracting they mean the men are getting all hormonal

alongtimeagoandfaraway · 09/09/2020 21:11

My daughter fell foul of similar rule except it was 10cm above her knee. She said if school could source a skirt that would fit her size 10, 5’10” frame, meet their length requirements without being frumpy(ie not below the knee, this was 10 years ago) then she’d wear it. They let it go...

scotsheather · 09/09/2020 21:12

Boy they'd have fun with my DDs 1 now left school, in fact most of the girls. Short tube skirts was and still is the norm. Anyone who finds it "distracting" needs more than their mind examined. Its also a well disciplined and high achieving school.

BrassicaRabbit · 09/09/2020 21:13

I would be absolutely livid OP.

Partly due to the lack of logic.

But I would also escalate to governors re the sexism. I would be worried that sexism pervades other aspects of the school too.

Somewhere exists a great report into sexism in schools that might be useful for you to share with them. I will try and remember what it was called /who commissioned it. It was very depressing.

MrsMcMuffins · 09/09/2020 21:14

DS1 is telling similar stories from his school. Girls being told about clothing being distracting for boys in front of everyone in assembly. I am so shocked by this and I feel it’s also teaching the boys that it’s the girls fault for distracting them. I secretly applaud every girl I see wearing a shirt skirt in that school now!!

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 09/09/2020 21:15

Our school skirts used to have to be exactly 2 inches above the knee. There was a ruler

We als did PE in gym knickers. Somehow the male teachers managed not to get distracted by that sight... Or maybe it did, since in 1999 they snitched to football shorts.

Charleyhorses · 09/09/2020 21:17

Same here.
Dd is 12, is 5 ft 5. Regulation school skirt in her waist is 2inches above her knee.
Their problem in my view. She wears thick tights.
If anyone suggested that my 12 year old was a distraction to make teachers I'd fucking deck them.

TyneTeas · 09/09/2020 21:18

This caught my eye recently about school dress being distractions

notalwaysright.com/giving-the-misogynists-a-good-dressing-down/209088/

Swipe left for the next trending thread