Dd told off for skirt being 5cm above her knee..too distracting.

[Knowhowufeel2]

My almost 16yo dd was pulled aside by the headteacher this morning as it was deemed her skirt is too short.

She was told that it's indecent and distracting for male students/staff and is against school rules despite it being their own brand skirt. It's just 5cm above her knee and she wasn't rolling it up or anything. They've said she must buy another within 48hrs despite the fact buying another (which will be exactly the same) won't change where it comes to on my dd as they're all 1 standard length.

I've been told to expect a phone call to make sure we comply and a meeting if I disagree.

I'm not happy that a lot of this skirt rule comes about because it's deemed distracting to the male gaze.

Why should my dd be responsible for that?

Also, I don't actually consider it particularly short (5cm above her knee as I measured) and I'm not happy to spend £30 on another skirt that will be exactly the same length as the one she already has.

My dd is bright and hard working...her skirt length has no bearing on that.

The school seems more concerned about uniform than the fact that several of their teachers are not up to the job....eg, yesterday her geography teacher admitted that she didn't understand what she was teaching them and found it boring!!

Any ideas on how to approach this or am I being over sensitive?

My apologies. I'd still ask assuming you're not privy to her sexual preferences.
I'm horrified the these messages are being given to young children. If she was rolling it up and showing off tiny nickers then I think that'd be distracting because they'd be laughing.
There's one length of skirt so it can't be any longer.
She's being blamed for others perving on her and it's suggested it'll affect her education. Her brain isn't affected by her skirt.

@cupofdecaf

My apologies. I'd still ask assuming you're not privy to her sexual preferences. I'm horrified the these messages are being given to young children. If she was rolling it up and showing off tiny nickers then I think that'd be distracting because they'd be laughing. There's one length of skirt so it can't be any longer. She's being blamed for others perving on her and it's suggested it'll affect her education. Her brain isn't affected by her skirt.

She did specify it was distracting for the male students and staff members...... (not defending her AT ALL btw, just pointing that out.

I’d absolutely hit the roof if I had a DD and her school said this. You’d feel the earth tremble at the other end of the country. How fucking dare they. If the boys are distracted by the girls then the boys need to be taught to control themselves. If the male teachers can’t control themselves then they shouldn’t be anywhere near young girls, or any women for that matter. Fucking disgusting.

Fucking ruin them OP. I’d be straight to the papers about that male staff comment.

Sorry I have posted this on the wrong thread, I have asked MNHQ to remove it! 🙀

This happened to me when I was at school. My mum refused to buy another one. What can they do?

She wore the exact same skirt today and wasn't stopped by the teachers on uniform duty today 🤷🏽‍♀️

I've emailed and asked for a meeting to discuss things but haven't yet heard back.

Even yesterday, one of the other teachers dealing with a different group agreed that the rule was daft and to those rolling their skirts up she said, 'just unroll them now and you don't have to put your names down'.
My daughter knows this because they talked about it later in the day.

They were also standing pupils together that are from different bubbles, so contravening their own rules when it suits them.

So even within the school different children are treated differently, or favourably, which isn't fair.

My dd wasn't sure what they meant by the distracting staff comment. She said it could be taken either way.
I've decided to give them the benefit of the doubt atm and take as that they meant it takes time away from teaching if staff are having to reprimand students for wearing the wrong uniform. I will be asking what was meant at the meeting though.

Fucking ruin them OP. I’d be straight to the papers about that male staff comment.

What male staff comment?

I remember being told as a group at my all girl's school that we need to be careful what we wore because it wasn't fair on the male staff.
Another time at my latest school we were asked not to wear black bras underneath our white blouses with no explanation other than 'we know you're doing'. I did the latter aged around 17. I thought it was daring to wear a black bra because my mum thought they were 'common' and she said so in a lingerie shop once to the cashier and the cashier raised an eyebrow and said she thought differently.
#Narcisstic mother

They were also standing pupils together that are from different bubbles, so contravening their own rules when it suits them.

Surely that's more important than skirt lengths.

I’m not clear on why a mother would be narcissistic just for suggesting that a black bra under a white shirt was “common “?

This is not necessarily to your DD op. I do think a skirt length should be enforced as they seem to be quite short nowadays.

I would complain about the teacher that spoke to your child it sounds inappropriate.

Chips the OP said that the skirts are specific to the school and are one length. But they will come up differently on someone with 29" legs like me and someone with 34" legs (like several of my friends).

@RiftGibbon

Chips the OP said that the skirts are specific to the school and are one length. But they will come up differently on someone with 29" legs like me and someone with 34" legs (like several of my friends).

Yes I know that that’s what I thought myself. What about a tall person Etc. OP needs to tell the school that I’m well aware and I agree with your point.

I would be telling the school that they need to sort out the school uniform that is available so there are options of different skirt lengths. They are being ridiculous!!!

Usually I am for complying with school uniforms, which I am in favour of for various reasons, but this is OTT ridiculous, especially as you say the new one is exactly the same.
Where I live in Ireland there is a girls' school, or maybe it is mixed sex, but I only ever see girls walking home, where the uniform is about ten centimetres BELOW the knee. It looks awful, I have to say, really frumpy as they are out of a thick plaid material. OTT in the other direction!

@JaffaJaffJaffpussycatpuss

I remember being told as a group at my all girl's school that we need to be careful what we wore because it wasn't fair on the male staff. Another time at my latest school we were asked not to wear black bras underneath our white blouses with no explanation other than 'we know you're doing'. I did the latter aged around 17. I thought it was daring to wear a black bra because my mum thought they were 'common' and she said so in a lingerie shop once to the cashier and the cashier raised an eyebrow and said she thought differently. #Narcisstic mother

So a black pupil would be required to wear a white bra? How would that look?

Maybe there were no black girls at OP’s school so it didn’t occur to her to address that situation in her post. There were certainly plenty of such schools in those days. I think it was pretty obvious what was meant.

There not bring another length available is dire.

I've been in the situation ( teacher girls schools) where make teachers have been absolutely mortified as some skirts were too short to cover unferwhere. Remember students sit down a lot

I e had to speak to girls about this. Impossible ok ble for a Male teacher to say " I can see your knickers " whereas I can and indeed have.

Also know friends in mixed schools who've had these conversations with boy students.

Sounds like it was maybe just this one teacher, and not official school policy. But feel free to go ahead and "ruin" the school, for one (female) teacher's comment, that may not even be true. She probably said it was distracting the male staff/students in a lazy way to get you to comply.
On Friday I took notice of the length of skirts at DD's school, and they were 100% about 10cm above the knee, although they mostly wore tights.

But feel free to go ahead and "ruin" the school, for one (female) teacher's comment, that may not even be true. She probably said it was distracting the male staff/students in a lazy way to get you to comply.

Schools never get ‘ruined‘ because of stuff like this, because there’s always an army of people ready to minimise and condone this shit

No idea, good point.
That's just what was said

My mother was and is full of gems for making people feel beneath her and for making herself feel superior because of it. Sorry if it was unclear.