Dd told off for skirt being 5cm above her knee..too distracting.

[Knowhowufeel2]

My almost 16yo dd was pulled aside by the headteacher this morning as it was deemed her skirt is too short.

She was told that it's indecent and distracting for male students/staff and is against school rules despite it being their own brand skirt. It's just 5cm above her knee and she wasn't rolling it up or anything. They've said she must buy another within 48hrs despite the fact buying another (which will be exactly the same) won't change where it comes to on my dd as they're all 1 standard length.

I've been told to expect a phone call to make sure we comply and a meeting if I disagree.

I'm not happy that a lot of this skirt rule comes about because it's deemed distracting to the male gaze.

Why should my dd be responsible for that?

Also, I don't actually consider it particularly short (5cm above her knee as I measured) and I'm not happy to spend £30 on another skirt that will be exactly the same length as the one she already has.

My dd is bright and hard working...her skirt length has no bearing on that.

The school seems more concerned about uniform than the fact that several of their teachers are not up to the job....eg, yesterday her geography teacher admitted that she didn't understand what she was teaching them and found it boring!!

Any ideas on how to approach this or am I being over sensitive?

This is awful. I hope the school back down & apologise

neu.org.uk/advice/its-just-everywhere-sexism-schools

This is the report by UK Feminista and NEU on sexism in schools.

@alongtimeagoandfaraway

My daughter fell foul of similar rule except it was 10cm above her knee. She said if school could source a skirt that would fit her size 10, 5’10” frame, meet their length requirements without being frumpy(ie not below the knee, this was 10 years ago) then she’d wear it. They let it go...

I would do this!

@Aroundtheworldin80moves you’re so right. We used to get absolutely lambasted for having skirts above the knee, but then we were forced to do PE in knicker shorts as they were called. I can remember doing cross country with the boys, in the rain, and it would panic all the girls. As if being in glorified pants in hideous weather wasn’t bad enough, but in front of boys and teachers, worrying about if you’re on your period or starting to get pubic hair - honestly I don’t know how schools got away with it. The only purpose seemed to be to shame us about our bodies.

Interesting that I never heard of this rule being implemented at my all girls school despite some questionable fashion choices by my classmates. Probably because the only males would have been staff and my headteacher wasn't daft enough to suggest they were unprofessional enough to be 'distracted'

I'm a teacher and see this kind of comment from a certain type of teacher all the time. Try to separate the skirt issue from the reason given. The skirt may well break a school policy, in which case they either need to allow non-uniform skirts for your daughter, or provide more size/length options, or change the policy. You'll probsbly need to show willing to adapt and work with them on that one. But absolutely rip into him for the 'distracting males' comment. It's a sexist, possibly homophobic, certainly biased iewpoint which contravenes everything a school is supposed to teaching them about responsibility, consent and gendered behaviours, and a sign of other latent misogyny which will show itself elsewhere. Its disgusting.

If the skirts are all the same, can’t she just wear her existing one again and say it’s a new one? I’ve no problem with bare faced lying when confronted with this kind of idiocy.

When I was in (my single sex, convent) school, we weren’t allowed wear tights on open days in case any of the prospective fathers were driven wild with uncontrollable lust. We had to wear knee socks instead. I don’t think the poor nuns had looked too deeply into the ins and outs of the whole “schoolgirl” fetish thing.

@Spandang... We did it in the local park. And on the London streets.

And (sorry this is a real bug bear of mind), do point out to him what others have said, that he's essentially saying he can't trust his male staff to not perv on a teenage girl. I wouldn't mention the geography teacher though, or other things you think the school is doing badly. Stick to the one issue and they'll have to back down. Complain about a ton of things being wrong and they'll dismiss you as a whinger and give you a whole load of flannel about uniform building community, minimising bullying, teaching respect etc.

It’s amazing how I’m more aware of this shit now I have a DD. Saw this today that sums it up...

Sounds like the school has many problems, I would be livid about the blatant sexism though, unacceptable and I would challenge them on it.

Regarding the uniform, what's the option for girls who don't want to wear that length of skirt? Is there a longer alternative or trousers? Your DD can of course wear the short skirt if it's what she prefers but does she even have options within their rules? If not I would be challenging that too as also not on. (Fond memories of the 90s school clothes, long skirts, chunky shoes, river Island bag for PE)

If your daughter's skirt length is distracting to male members of staff I would suggest that they have a very serious safeguarding issue, and ask them what they plan to do about that.

Absolute fuckwits.

Male staff shouldn't be affected by what female students wear. If they are, then they have no business working in a school.

It used to be women showing their ankles in victorian times. Now it is skirts a shocking 5cm above the knee. If a skirt being 5cm above the knee is enough to distract teenage boys, then god help the poor women in nightclubs when those lads are old enough to start drinking.

I had this too. My skirt could not be lengthened. However, I got a new one which reached almost to my ankles and looked awful, especially when I started wearing socks instead of tights. Instead of shortening it I wore it as it was, my friend did the same.

We were glared at but nothing was said, although we looked terrible and wore them all the way round town at lunch time and on the way to and from school.

I hate when they refer to short skirts as being DISTRACTING. However, as a female member of staff I've had to have a quiet word with female students because the way they are sitting etc is showing a bit too much and they haven't realized same way I'd tell a boy to pull his trousers up properly or when they've taken their jumper off and there shirts risen right up with a brief "that's too much skin, thank you" or similar.

I don't find it distracting but it does make me feel uncomfortable and I know male members of staff feel the same way because it only takes one student of either sex to ruin a teachers career. I expect the students to follow the "Can't see up it, can't see down it, can't see through it," rule and students aren't always aware that if their skirts are short they can be seen up as they climb the stairs because of the open banistairs and I'd want to protect them as much as anything else.

We live coastally and its the reason I travel away from our lovely beach to one further away, I don't want to see or be put in the position of seeing any students in any state of undress.

Their shirt of course

I'd go to the papers, this is shocking.
Where are the DM on threads where you want them.

How dare she have long femurs. The hussy.

If the uniform policy stated a certain length then that's the rules

Can she wear trousers?

distracting for male students/staff

Perhaps the male staff should stop looking at students legs.

@TheFormerPorpentinaScamander

If male teachers are distracted by seeing children's legs they probably shouldn't be teachers!

Yep. Seize their hard drives.

@CarolVordermansArse

I had this too. My skirt could not be lengthened. However, I got a new one which reached almost to my ankles and looked awful, especially when I started wearing socks instead of tights. Instead of shortening it I wore it as it was, my friend did the same.

We were glared at but nothing was said, although we looked terrible and wore them all the way round town at lunch time and on the way to and from school.

I spent a week when I was 14 alternating between a skirt that was shorter than my (too long) jumper and one that almost trailed on the floor behind me. There was no exact length policy, i was just tld it was too short/too long. By week two the school let me wear trousers. I was also elected onto the school council and won the right for all girls to be able wear trousers! Yay for pain in the ass 14 year old me!

This pisses me off so much. I'd refuse to buy a new skirt, I would have a meeting to say what you have said here and I would raise with the governing body.
Right now, after all the disruption to education the school should be 100% focused on delivering a full and comprehensive curriculum allowing pupils to get their learning back on track.
If boys find skirts distracting then they need better, more engrossing education - possibly in a separate classroom. They need educating about how to control their eyes, and how they perceive females (as does the head).
Alternatively they could allow girls to wear trousers.

But yer OP this is bullshit and i'd be kicking up a right fuss.

(If I were your daughter now i'd probably sew two skirts together ra-ra style to the required length and with a hardfaced shrug state it was regualtion skirt(s) )