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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Bunburying into Autumn (Bunbury 6)

999 replies

DianasLasso · 09/09/2020 13:08

Bit like blackberrying, with added derailment, sealioning and general JAQ-ing off. I'll copy and paste the opening post of the last thread.

The useful Bunbury Guide to Spotting Community Disruptors is constantly evolving.

The best research and advice is not to engage with community disruptors and trolls. As ever, if you suspect troll activity, report it to MNHQ.

Remember there are people out there who would like to silence us by fair means or foul.

This is a continuation of the Public Service Announcement thread:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/3944572-Bunburys-guide-to-community-disruptors-part-5?pg=40

If and when you see threads plopped into FWR, especially a curious repeat of well worn topics, maybe check for poster history before engaging. AS is your friend.

There are a number of posts/posters/threads that are reproduced on Twitter or Facebook to foment controversy using screen shots & flagging to either MNHQ to have threads or posters deleted.. Sometimes, it’s used to approach commissioning editors with ideas for articles. It’s a tiresome tactic that we always have community disruptor posters who themselves post the comments that they then highlight elsewhere as purported evidence of racism, religious intolerance, anti-men sentiments, or transphobia.

Some helpful links can be found in the ‘Break it Down for me’ and ‘It never happens’ threads but in essence FermatsTheorem recommended “that in the absence of a block/hide poster button, I suggest the following strategy (given that you're talking to the lurkers).

Do not name check the sealion. Instead, respond to a depersonalised paraphrase:

"It is sometimes erroneously suggested that blah. Blah is wrong for the following reasons (short and pithy). If you need more information re. debunking blah, here's a link."

Then (this next step is important to combat derailment) go back up thread to the last useful contribution to the discussion, make sure you do name check that contributor, and pick up the discussion from that point.”

Go well Witches gin

OP posts:
Thread gallery
16
RufustheSniggeringReindeer · 27/11/2020 16:27

Yeah...exactly sophocles

Someone needs to try it ...not me, as my typing finger hurts a little

In my head when im watching donald trump for example i quite often yell ‘OH WOULD YOU FUCK OFF AND DIE YOU LYING CUNT’ I can’t say it out loud when the children are here, they cramp my style

SophocIestheFox · 27/11/2020 16:30

I’m impressed by your self control, I just inadvertently shout CUNT when I see him, it’s like blinking Grin

DannyGlickWindowTapping · 27/11/2020 16:32

Just wondering out loud, but would HQ accept a report of "not in the spirit" against a poster on the basis of them being a goady twat and generally awful person, or would the reporter end up with a strike for vexatious reporting? 🤔🤔

RufustheSniggeringReindeer · 27/11/2020 16:36

@SophocIestheFox

I’m impressed by your self control, I just inadvertently shout CUNT when I see him, it’s like blinking Grin
😀
MichelleofzeResistance · 27/11/2020 16:47

I hear you. It's disconcerting when you think you're putting your time towards reading at a women's rights forum and find that actually you're providing your time to entertain a men's rights activist.

But since you're not allowed to point out that someone is behaving badly for intentionally disruptive reasons, or get bored and talk about recipes to have contact with other women on the thread that isn't enabling derailment in the hope that anyone not in good faith might get bored enough to stop boring everyone else, or to say anything less than naice, what options are left? Other than being good girls and shutting up?

PopperUppleton · 27/11/2020 16:53

Just ignore him. Just pretend he hasn't posted

DeaconBoo · 27/11/2020 16:59

You can report to support patterns of posting in bad faith. I'd just be clear about this when you lodge the report. Often they're not seen to cross the line, but it's a conversation with having with MN.

I think there are different types of posters that post in bad faith - the obvious ones, and the ones I think genuinely don't really have the interest, knowledge or "capacity" for looking at the subject as a whole, the specific thread topics in context, and instead just look for ways to jump in and snipe if someone words things badly to score some weird little internet points to themselves. Often followed by a derail into a discussion of "what I think fwr is like".

TartrazineCustard · 27/11/2020 17:06

I, for one, have been quite pleased to see just how closely and supportively the TRA and MRA lines of argument are working together. It's really illustrative.

MaudTheInvincible · 27/11/2020 17:16

I've noticed that we no longer seem to get MRAs intruding in FWR. The TRAs have taken their place, and you're right, the arguments remain pretty much the same; basically women are doing it wrong, all the time, in every way, and they don't think about men's needs anywhere near enough.

midgebabe · 27/11/2020 18:00

Would it be classed as a taat if a new thread was started to pick up the original theme after a thread veers off in an unhelpful direction?

Wrongsideofhistorymyarse · 29/11/2020 08:41

Interesting AMA in the proper place. Possibly not going as expected.

nauticant · 29/11/2020 08:49

I was just coming to post about that. The premise is a bit off and it is attracting unkind comments that might appear elsewhere.

RufustheSniggeringReindeer · 29/11/2020 08:53

Some comments regarding the trauma are very interesting and probably completely correct (from what ive read and assuming we are talking about the same thread)

CaraDuneRedux · 29/11/2020 08:56

Does he clean the toilet when he feels like a woman?

Snort.

Though actually it's a sad thread indicative of the crappy way transgenderism as religion masks genuine psychological trauma. Poor guy is a survivor of CSA which leaves him with episodes of feeling alienated by his male body (not surprisingly) which he conceptualises as "feeling like a woman.". When that looks to me like putting a sticking plaster over an infected wound. Sad

SophocIestheFox · 29/11/2020 08:57

That’s what I thought, too.

Calling it “being gender fluid” is the opposite of helpful. It’s the “thoughts and prayers” version of psychological intervention.

RufustheSniggeringReindeer · 29/11/2020 09:00

What cara said

I was trying to be cagey

CatsCantCatchCriminals2 · 29/11/2020 09:01

@SophocIestheFox

I’m impressed by your self control, I just inadvertently shout CUNT when I see him, it’s like blinking Grin

😂

Wrongsideofhistorymyarse · 29/11/2020 09:07

I commented before the OP revealed her DHs trauma. It's dissociation, not gender fluidity. Poor man.

RufustheSniggeringReindeer · 29/11/2020 09:34

Dd has disassociation

She has learnt to deal with it, if it is that case for that posters husband he is never going to get that ability

nauticant · 29/11/2020 09:36

The OP posted about gender fluidity, got scornful replies, changed the nature of the thread completely by revealing that the actual issue was trauma from sexual abuse, and when posters irritatedly pointed this out, the OP declared that the thread wasn't about the actual issue but was about her and her perception of her husband being gender fluid.

I'm not convinced that the thread is in good faith.

ErrolTheDragon · 29/11/2020 09:45

@midgebabe

Would it be classed as a taat if a new thread was started to pick up the original theme after a thread veers off in an unhelpful direction?
That's a good question. Worth asking MNHQ explicitly perhaps? IMO it wouldn't really be a TAAT - it would really be a duplicate thread on the same subject as it would be discussing the issue, not discussing another thread. We get duplicates started by different posters quite frequently, sometimes the second will take over or go in a different direction from the first.
ItsLateHumpty · 29/11/2020 09:58

@nauticant

The OP posted about gender fluidity, got scornful replies, changed the nature of the thread completely by revealing that the actual issue was trauma from sexual abuse, and when posters irritatedly pointed this out, the OP declared that the thread wasn't about the actual issue but was about her and her perception of her husband being gender fluid.

I'm not convinced that the thread is in good faith.

You may well be right there nauticant as the threads just been pulled, and MN are checking things out.
ItsLateHumpty · 29/11/2020 09:59

Thread deleted
Message from MNHQ: Thank you for your reports on this thread.

While we're happy to host debate, we've already had to make a fair few deletions where comments have tipped into being pretty uncivil.

The OP's asked us to remove it and there's also a couple of things we want to check out our end. This all being the case, we've decided to remove the thread.

RufustheSniggeringReindeer · 29/11/2020 10:05

I think nauticant was deffo right

The story did change when the first few comments came through

nauticant · 29/11/2020 10:17

Whatever it was, it was effective. As the thread went on you could see more posts appearing of the type "MN is a bad place to post about this because of the transphobes."