I have lurked silently here for quite a while, but this is really upsetting and I finally want to join this conversation.
Rosie Duffield is a survivor of domestic abuse and got emotional abuse added to the definition in the Domestic Abuse Bill (which I’m also working on behind the scenes). Her speech was really brave and upsetting to hear. I can’t really articulate my thoughts right now but she has been through the same thing I have - real violence with words over a sustained period of time, which slowly erodes your sense of self, reality and truth. Seeing people allege that trans people are going to be harmed, that Rosie Duffield is attacking people, or that people are being damaged just by the statement “only women have cervices” is upsetting me more than I can say, and I don’t really know why, except that it’s like a continuation of abuse and gaslighting by the very people who are claiming to be hurt. If trans men wink out of existence as a result of the statement of a simple biological fact, god knows what any kind of actual abuse or hatred would do.
No other point of view is treated like that. People are allowed to argue for and against abortion and around racism, antisemitism, all sorts of things - nobody promised to fire Christopher Chope into space or called him a dumb b*tch for thwarting the upskirting legislation, both of which I’ve seen about Rosie Duffield. It terrifies me.
One final thing - as a result of growing up around DV and with EA I have had an eating disorder for a long while. It’s mostly at bay now but I feel constantly like I’m wearing a fat suit, I want to rip my skin off, I’m hideous, I take up too much space and so on. It’s dreadful, and relentless, and my body feels very wrong. I’ve never got to the top of an NHS waiting list, by the way. And it is difficult to deal with people who comment negatively on my weight, or people lauding weight loss generally, or anything “triggering” but I can and do deal with them. But I can’t imagine what it would be like to have it validated that I am in the wrong body, or to decide to ban anyone from saying I’m anything but skeletal, I just can’t imagine that ever happening. And the reason I overreact to comments about my weight is BECAUSE I’m ill, because there is something wrong in my brain.
Sorry that was long, and thanks everyone here who has had to be brave and speak out, or endure abuse about this.