Women being moaned at for missing the hairdresser/beauty treatments.

[HeIenaDove]

Been thinking of starting this thread for a while . Ive seen women being criticised and comments like "its a pandemic Give your head a wobble" when they dare to mention they would like or need a haircut/ colour/wax.

In some cases by men. The same men who would moan about women neglecting themselves and letting themselves go during non pandemic times. Now expect women to change like a flick of a switch!

But expecting women to change the mindset after decades and decades of being expected to look a certain way and meet a certain standard is not so easy.

I refuse to feel any shame for missing my hairdresser when I hear men agitating for the football season to restart (and I like football).

Flo the one i had was golf

Apparently golf is essential.

Interesting point. During normal times women say they do makeup and choose certain clothes "for themselves, not others". So of course they carry on in private.

I am pretty much the same when at home as when our in public, just my hair is an annoying length now so looks awful.

Grr out not our

Apparently golf is essential

No that's not true. I've seen moaning on MN that the suggestion that golf and angling will be permitted is some sort of anti- women agenda. It isn't- it's because those leisure activities are outdoors and are very easy to apply social distancing to.

I don't know where you have seen the types of comments you are referring to.

In RL Ive had it said to me.

Passed a construction site yesterday and saw two men fist bumping with a "See you on Monday"

And there have been threads on here where Mners are worried about how they are going to look in Zoom business meetings. One Mner saying she will have to cut her DHs hair because of the standards expected by the employer.

Why cant these employers lower their expectations and give their heads a wobble because we are in a pandemic.

The same men who would moan about women neglecting themselves and letting themselves go during non pandemic times

You cannot possibly know it's the same men

And I've seen plenty of disastrous home-clipped hair dos (or should that be 'hair don'ts' on men, plus jokes about sweat pants. So being discombobulated by having to move away from your normal, seems to affect anyone, not only women.

Ditto for loss of outside activities, whatever form they take.

I am annoyed by the column inches given to premier league men's football, so was pleased to see a few articles springing up,about the importance of grassroots sport, and how that needs to restart first.

And there have been threads on here where Mners are worried about how they are going to look in Zoom business meetings. One Mner saying she will have to cut her DHs hair because of the standards expected by the employer

So you have seen threads by women on MN expressing this and one woman making a comment which may or may not have any basis in reality. That's vastly different from your opening post.

Why cant these employers lower their expectations and give their heads a wobble because we are in a pandemic

You have no evidence whatsoever to support the claim employers are keeping to the same expectations.

"So being discombobulated by having to move away from your normal, seems to affect anyone, not only women.

Ditto for loss of outside activities, whatever form they take"

Agreed.

So being discombobulated by having to move away from your normal

Yeap. I never go to the hairdresser's or use makeup, but I'm so used to buying food as I need it, I cannot get my head around doing a weekly shop, let alone a fortnightly one.

I think a lot of people have different ideas about what to be complaining about and when to tut tut at people complaining.

Ant time anyone complains about something, whether it seems a reasonable complaint or not, there seems to be people that jump on them and say they clearly think their haircut or gardening or whatever is more important than other people's lives.

I think it's a good thing if expectations are lowered during a pandemic.
It really is time.
I personally am tired of the fact that my own personal look I don't wear any make-up or high heels or fashionable clothes, and go to the hairdresser once a year at most; but I am clean and groomed, and pay attention to person hygiene might be a signal to others that I am unworthy of their respect.

In some cases by men.

The key word being "some". And often times by women too. Women are the worst critic of women.

And there have been threads on here where Mners are worried about how they are going to look in Zoom business meetings.

Usually to be followed by a chorus of "its a pandemic Give your head a wobble" by other women.
This idea that it is mostly men criticising is false from the outset.

I'll eat my hat if men start embracing women's leg and armpit hair during this crisis or any other.

men who would moan about women neglecting themselves and letting themselves go during non pandemic times

Who are these men?

The people I know most stressing about their own hair are men.

What men? Most don't notice these things. It's only women that I've heard any complaints about not getting hair done etc - and they are light hearted enough about it.

I personally am tired of the fact that my own personal look I don't wear any make-up or high heels or fashionable clothes, and go to the hairdresser once a year at most; but I am clean and groomed, and pay attention to person hygiene might be a signal to others that I am unworthy of their respect

Why do you think other people think that makes you unworthy of respect? What you describe covers many, probably the majority of women in real life.

There is a certain type of person who sees all stereotypically 'women's interests' as trivial. So hair, make-up, fashion, gossip magazines, socialising, 'gossip'; while seeing stereotypical 'men's interests' as important. So sport, beer, newspapers, 'talking politics'.

These people are sexists. They are men and women.

I've fallen for it a bit in the past, correlating an interest in fashion and make-up with 'non-seriousness' and lower intelligence. Turns out that's not true.

There is a certain type of person who sees all stereotypically 'women's interests' as trivial.

Yes, a large proportion of people who post on this board do.

There is a certain type of person who sees all stereotypically 'women's interests' as trivial.

Yes! Chick lit and chick flicks too. First something is associated with women or femininity. Then it is devalued. If it is re-associated with men or masculinity then it gets value or gravitas added once more.

On the subject of hair again, I have heard more men joking about their unkempt locks than women. I do wonder whether an abusive partner might use this opportunity to make nasty comments to a woman about her appearance though. There was someone on the Relationships board early on in lockdown whose partner said something nasty to her about her looking like she had let herself go. I could imagine the self same man mocking her for her trivial interests in hair and makeup at other times. Abusers can specialise in this sort of thing.

I'll eat my hat if men start embracing women's leg and armpit hair during this crisis or any other.

Are people not able to shave their armpits and legs as they usually would, if they usually would?

I bi-pass the whole lot by doing my own 'beauty'. I don't think the whole industry has a great reputation for being good to women. Plenty of adverts shaming women into buying unnecessary products and beauty treatments.

I make my own hair dye from foodstuffs, dye my own hair and don't have too many qualms about cutting it, have done it before. I don't have salon treatments. Main way I look after my appearance is through good diet and exercise.

I'll eat my hat if men start embracing women's leg and armpit hair during this crisis or any other

Are people not able to shave their armpits and legs as they usually would, if they usually would

Yes, I didn't really get that point and in a working from home context it must be rather specialised work if one's armpits and legs are on display in a Zoom or Skype conference call.

Which is why mens opinion holds no value in what women decide to do (for themselves)

Why do you think other people think that makes you unworthy of respect? What you describe covers many, probably the majority of women in real life.

The size of cosmetic departments in pharmacies and department stores, the abundance of beauty parlours and nail salons, women's magazines, TV shows, videos, Social Media -- all proclaiming to women that they must abide by these rules in order to stay relative in the working world and attractive to men.

It's the Kool-Aid of our time. True, no-one says out loud that they don't respect you if you don't play by the rules. But the subtle message is there all the same.