Women being moaned at for missing the hairdresser/beauty treatments.

[HeIenaDove]

Been thinking of starting this thread for a while . Ive seen women being criticised and comments like "its a pandemic Give your head a wobble" when they dare to mention they would like or need a haircut/ colour/wax.
In some cases by men. The same men who would moan about women neglecting themselves and letting themselves go during non pandemic times. Now expect women to change like a flick of a switch!

But expecting women to change the mindset after decades and decades of being expected to look a certain way and meet a certain standard is not so easy.

[DidoLamenting]

It's the Kool-Aid of our time. True, no-one says out loud that they don't respect you if you don't play by the rules. But the subtle message is there all the same

And yet millions of women in every day life in any workplace, shopping centre seem to manage to get by without fretting about this. The vast majority of women do not adopt the high maintenance standard you have rejected.

[lottiegarbanzo]

That may be true to an extent Lamahaha but it depends who you hang around with and where you work. Another take on it, is that all that stuff is there for people who want it, take it or leave it.

You can easily swerve most of the beauty industry, just as you'd chose to swerve the meat industry if you're a vegetarian, the alcohol industry if you don't drink etc. All large, visible, heavily promoted and normalised industries. All a case of take it (on your own terms, to the extent that you want to), leave it, take an interest, dismiss with indifference. Up to you.

[AlexisCarringtonColbyDexter]

I am missing botox, hair dressers and beauty salons.

I couldn't give a flying fck if anyone judges me for it. I'm a key worker and I'm working really bloody hard to keep people safe and well. I am allowed to miss things that cheer me up and give me a mental boost. I truly do not care if anyone doesnt like that. They can fck right off with their unwanted opinion.

[FinallyHere]

all stereotypically 'women's interests' as trivial.

I'm all for people doing whatever they want.

The cost and time required for women to 'present' themselves in society is out of all proportion to that required for men.

So much about women's clothes is actively 'counter functional' with no pockets, subject to passing fashions and as for shoes, which are valued for being beautiful rather than functional and really do wreck peoples feet

The triviality of women's existence is prized above all else.

There has got to be a reason and it isn't because we have women's best interests at heart.

[DidoLamenting]

I couldn't give a flying fck if anyone judges me for it

You are absolutely right to say that. I think the point is it's not remotely clear who has been making the sort of value judgements the OP is referring to- apart from it seems a few sanctimonious posters on MN.

I'm not a key worker but am working from home. I'm still smartly dressed each day with the same amount of (fairly minimal) makeup and jewellery I'd wear if I were going to the office.

[Floisme]

I have been known to hang out on both fashion and football forums, and would completely agree they're both pretty trivial in the grand scheme of things.

Not once can I recall anyone barging into a football chat to tell us off for daring to care about something so flighty. And yet in Style and Beauty, it happens with tedious regularity.
Go figure.

[AlexisCarringtonColbyDexter]

You are absolutely right to say that. I think the point is it's not remotely clear who has been making the sort of value judgements the OP is referring to- apart from it seems a few sanctimonious posters on MN

Gotcha. Personally, ive only seen disparaging comments on MN about "trivial beauty" things. Everyone I know in real life has expressed how sad they are that they cannot access the things they like to do- eg. hair salons, restaurants, gyms, sports activities, cafes, etc and people agree with them.

Ive not heard a single person in real life scold anyone that they should "give their head a wobble because people are dying!". All of us must miss something- even if its just grabbing a coffee and sitting quietly in the sun watching the world go by. Its the little things like that, that I also miss.

[AlexisCarringtonColbyDexter]

And yet in Style and Beauty, it happens with tedious regularity

Yes it does. I asked about a skin cream on style and beauty and was told I should "get a life" and "get out more".....during lockdown

I dont know why asking about a skin cream means I "have no life" its still a bit of a mystery to me as I have a very full and active life. Its very possible to use skin cream and still have a life lol

[RumbaswithPumbaas]

I have a fair few friends who have decided to let their hair colour grow out and not go back. I’ve found it useful to get the final wear out of some tired clothes. I haven’t been aware of any ‘judging’ ( but avoiding dementor threads).

I do think, for some people, this might be a resetting of what they can be bothered with post coronavirus.

[RumbaswithPumbaas]

And Tbf trolls will troll. Enjoy your face cream.

[1forsorrow]

I really needed my hair cut in February, thought about it before lockdown but didn't get round to it. My hair is now horrendous.

I console myself by looking at all the dark roots showing on people on TV.

[AlexisCarringtonColbyDexter]

Enjoy your face cream

Thank you! I will

[1forsorrow]

I dont know why asking about a skin cream means I "have no life" its still a bit of a mystery to me as I have a very full and active life. Its very possible to use skin cream and still have a life lol I do the absolute minimum about my appearance, hair cut twice a year if I can be bothered but I need (as in essential) a cream with SPF. Red head with freckles and I'd fry without it. It is probably the only thing I'd worry about during lockdown although I have got to the stage where I know my hair has gone beyond anything that could be considered reasonable.

Obviously I do need shampoo, soap and antiperspirant but they are so basic I don't really think about them.

[TheCountessatHotelCortez]

I refuse to be made to feel bad for missing my hair/eyebrow appointments, getting my hair done makes me feel good and is part of my self esteem and how I see myself, I’ve never done it for anyone else other than myself because it makes me feel good and i damn well want to get back asap

[ZiggZagg]

My DH couldn't give a shit to be honest, he says he likes me more natural 🤷‍♀️in fact most men I know aren't arsed. The women I know are loving not having to spend £££'s on hair, nail, waxing appointments actually. I've done my front and back gardens on the money I've saved 🤣

[deydododatdodontdeydo]

I've done my front and back gardens on the money I've saved

Is that a euphemism?

[ZiggZagg]

[Lamahaha]

You can easily swerve most of the beauty industry, just as you'd chose to swerve the meat industry if you're a vegetarian, the alcohol industry if you don't drink etc. All large, visible, heavily promoted and normalised industries. All a case of take it (on your own terms, to the extent that you want to), leave it, take an interest, dismiss with indifference. Up to you.

All of which I do, being in my late 60's, a vegetarian for the last 45 years, and non-social-drinker! I do know how to take it on my own terms, thank you.
But I was once young and impressionable and remember the pressure to be in fashion when I went to parties, my awkwardness with make-up (I absolutely hate the feel of both lipstick and jewellery) and inability to navigate that territory well. Thank goodness, I soon found my own two feet by becoming a hippie -- but I'm sorry for young girls these days, because the norm seems worse than it ever was.

[Antibles]

My point about armpit and leg hair is to show that that the grooming standards society holds women to in public are not being relaxed all that much in lockdown.

Where your legs are going to be visible and you are still able to do these things e.g yes by still being able to buy razors and off the shelf wax lots of women are still doing these things. In other words, the expectations are still there Supporting one of HelenaDove's OP points that lockdown hasn't magically switched off the way women have been conditioned to feel about their bodies.

However people are letting it all hang out in their homes right now, I don't expect to go back to the public swimming baths and suddenly see a massive increase in the women there with all their natural leg and armpit hair on display.

Zoom is a strange example to use. I'm seeing lots of women's bare legs every day in public in the nice weather - exercise, shopping, going to work.

What I'm saying is that if razors and all hair removal products did go out of stock and women's legs were forced into their natural hairy state, that would be the true test of men's apparent blithe and charming unconcern with our body hair. They are used to our barnet and us having brows. The other stuff? Not so much!

[Antibles]

Is that a euphemism?

[lottiegarbanzo]

OK, maybe I should have said 'one' rather than you. My point was just that people can and do make choices, however mainstream something is and however much social pressure there is, in a generalised way, to do it.

There's certainly plenty of social pressure to drink, so much socialising organised around it, yet plenty of people, even and especially young people, choose not to drink at all, or do so sparingly.

I find that making a choice to ignore a partcular industry, more or less, means I quickly become blind to it and just miss out that section of the shop or take little notice. I think peer pressure is far more 'real' than advertising and that that's mostly about finding 'your own people' and choosing your own path in life. So I think the 'macro-scale' visibility of fashion and grooming products has little to do with the micro-scale choices and niches that affect individual lives.

Certainly the young 20-somethings I know don't wear much make up, because that's just not their tribe or their choice of look. So I do think it's still personal choice.

[Al1Langdownthecleghole]

it's important to express yourself as you choose, so if that means no Make-up take me as I am, that's fine. It is also fine to want to wear make up and have groomed hair. And if that means you aren't delighted at not being able to follow your usual beauty routine that's ok by me.

Here, DH has been moaning about needing a haircut as much as me, yet I haven't seen widescale condemnation of any men who share that view.

As an aside, I've given him a great mullet.

[DidoLamenting]

What I'm saying is thatifrazors and all hair removal products did go out of stock and women's legs were forced into their natural hairy state, that would be the true test of men's apparent blithe and charming unconcern with our body hair

Well they haven't and are very unlikely to so I'm not sure what your point is. I'm continuing to shave legs and armpits and will carry on doing so even if I barely leave the back garden.

[BrandyandBabycham]

See you on Monday? What does that mean?

[HeIenaDove]

The workmen were saying goodbye and fist bumping and one said to the other "See you on Monday" i dont think it was a secret code!