Thank you for telling your story, @ProudExclu. You're absolutely right, that relief just after you get out is incredible. After a very scary incident that showed me in no uncertain terms I was not safe living with my ex occurred on a Friday, I slept at friends' houses until Tuesday, when I took the day off work and moved everything that was mine while he was at work. I moved into a house share that he didn't have the address for with two other ladies in their mid-30s and remember very clearly moving all my boxes and furniture into my little room, and just collapsing on the bed. There was sadness that the marriage I'd had so much hope for was such a disappointment, but more than that, a palpable relief that he couldn't get to me and was out of my life. It gets so much better once you extract yourself from the madness, doesn't it? 
There's a running theme here that your story highlights as well. And, having listened to quite a few very reasonable trans commentators as well, it seems like the trans community has a bit of a PR issue on its hands. I'm sure there are plenty of people with very genuine and very distressing gender dysphoria who very much have a moral compass and wish to simply get on with fairly average, normal lives.
I also can't pretend that in so many of these stories of especially late-stage male transitioners, there's serious dysfunction that gender issues seems to act as a lightning rod for.
It's like, and I'm sure I'm not alone in these feelings, I married a 30-year-old Central European engineer who bought his first house at 26 and seemed like a stable bet, who enjoyed weight training and riding motorcycles cross country. As this progressed, I ended up with a 35-year-old club kid with a pretty intense eating disorder, serious abusive and narcissistic tendencies, and multiple addictions, who enjoyed snogging other people's husbands, watching lots of transgender porn and who knows what else, holed up in his room.
A friend of mine had it much worse; her ex would totally disassociate when he was dressed, sexually assaulted her, and there's good evidence he was a danger to children.
In short, some individuals just seem to be sitting on top of SO MANY comorbid mental health and personality issues, I'm worried that those underlying problems are simply being swept under the rug and not addressed, and 'transition' is seen as the solution for everything. I certainly hope not, and that these people get actual help instead of shallow 'gorgeous, darlings.
I watched my ex try to 'date' (long story, we split before I could leave) and that was a disaster was well. His expectations were so overblown, it was incredible. He would flirt with these guys late at night, then arrange a date the next day. If they cancelled or didn't call him back when he wanted, he'd basically shout abuse at them through the messaging service until he blocked them. Narcissistic rage in action.
Around that time, as I'd been functionally single and mourning for a long time, and having gotten a very compassionate go ahead from a therapist friend in the States, I started dating as well. @ProudExclu, your after story is a lot like mine. I basically left-swiped anyone that had traits even remotely like my ex, and three years on, I'm in a brilliant relationship with an emotionally literate, kind, honest, stable man who was vetted throughly before I allowed myself to be emotionally intimate.
When you're on that sinking ship, it can feel like there's no hope. But getting free and healing can be one of the most life affirming, joyous journeys. You get to reclaim everything that's been pulled out of you. It's a real hero's journey, and lots of us have been through hell.
But, the lessons you learn while going through this absolute maelstrom are turning you into a boundary-setting, self-advocating badass behind the scenes. There's a whole corner of the internet dedicated to post-traumatic growth, and I think women like us certainly deserve that.
That's enough of a ramble for today, I think. 
Hope you're all well!