Just had a blazing row with dd

[steppemum]

So, dd is gender non binary, has changed her name and want sot use them/they pronouns.
This is the end of a long process of about 4 years, she is 15.

I am supportive up to a point (she can call herself what she wants)
But I have gently pushed back against the theory behind it, as I am GC.

We have just had a blazing row. She said that 70% of the victims of DV were men.
From a 'very big and respected men's rights group' that have 'proved' that these are correct and that men's rights don't get any media attention, like the poor bloke who died in Australia at the hand of his wife and she didn't go to jail.

I'm afraid I flipped my lid. Lost my temper and gave a a full force lecture about feminism and the oppression of women. Gave a her a load of statistics about number of women killed every week by their partners, about women begging for help with stalkers who then kill them, about the 2 families in the UK killed since lock down began by the MEN, about how as a women she will face, discrimination, glass ceiling, physical danger, etc etc, because whether she likes it or not she is a WOMAN, and women have faced that since the beginning of time, and so no, my heart doesn't bleed for the poor menz. She said in divorce women always get the kids, so I mentioned all the single mums whose feckless partners bugger off and leave them with no money and no support holding the baby.
She gave me a load more fake statistics from her men's rights group. which she can't name.

I am so so fucking angry. I hate the fucking internet.

So, apart from my crap parenting, does anyone know the men's rights group she may be refering to, and can anyone counter these statistics with facts? Not just police report facts, (they are apparently all biased) but does anyone know how I can dig behind her facts to see where they come from?

My gender was not assigned at birth by a sorting hat 🙄🙄 my sex was observed & recorded

Mumaof0

terfisaslur.com/

To us as cisgender

I don't have a gender.

Mumaof0

Could you please not @ me?
Im here on the thread & reading (it sends an email every time)

@R0wantrees You are thinking of gender and sex as the same thing by saying that all adult women are women whatever length of hair etc. Yes they are biologically women but also their gender (women) matches their sex (women). What is so hard for you to understand that you can be biologically male but a woman by gender. I understand as people who don't face this it's hard to get our head round but it does happen so can't we just accept it.

Maybe I explained it badly but another way of looking at it is you see someone walking down the street and know they're a woman because of their features, clothing hair length or whatever. NB people don't want to be recognised as a man or a woman, I don't know why but they just don't. It doesn't matter what their sex is. And then there's trans people who do want to be recognised as a gender, but not the gender that matches their biological sex. This isn't to say that to be a trans woman a biological man must wear a wig and a dress, because female gender doesn't equal long hair and a dress because we are all individuals!

I wonder if any of the commenters have actually met a trans or NB person or just have a mental image of a middle aged bloke in a dress and wig sneaking into women's changing rooms Trust mumsnet eh

@Oncewasblueandyellowtwo No gender? So you are non binary? Or are you a woman?

She sounds similar to my dd, I try not to get into anything like this with her (trans rights, mens right, woman’s rights etc..), I do worry about what they read online, dd spends a lot of time reading things on Twitter, she truly believes that a person can be what ever gender they like and that it’s fine for someone who identifies as a woman to share a pool changing room with other woman or to go to a woman’s prison, she also believes a woman can rape a man 😐. I don’t discus sexuality or gender with he anymore, she knows that I’m happy for her to be gay or straight but that I believe you are the gender that was assigned to you at birth.

I am open minded about most things but do believe that we are going to have huge issues with a whole generation of confused young people due to the shit they read on the internet.

Gender is a set of stereotypes

Sex is biological reality

It is not possible to assign a gender ie a set of stereotypes to an hour old baby it is only possible to record their biological sex

What gender they chose to perform later is an entirely different thing

Mumaof0

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/3348290-It-will-never-happen-resource-thread?pg=13

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/3145470-Break-it-down-for-me

Maybe have a read of these.
Lol hun literally.

I am not cis anything and no I won't accept any term or ridiculous addition to the word woman applied to me whatever language it derives from and whatever nonsense meaning you think it has.

Sex is NOT assigned at birth, sex is formed at conception and observed and recorded at birth. Our sex markers are in every cell of our bodies and they remain there from conception, through birth until death.

Express yourself as you wish but do not impinge on or abuse facilities set up on the basis of sex, that is not a right nor a law, humans cannot change sex it is constant and irrefutable.

Leaving this thread now, I love mumsnet sometimes but this will sadly be its downfall #spreadlovenothate as it seems brands are refusing to advertise on here due to anti trans sentiments

I don’t have a gender identity. I am a woman.
Everyone is non binary.
Supporting women as a sex is not “spreading hate” what a ridiculous thing to say.

Oh good, I love being "educated".
Even better is the accusations of transphobia and the flounce because no-one bit and said something screenshot worthy.

There's always one. What absolutely patronising guff.

The only person here being hateful is you Mumaof0, there is nothing hateful or radical about protecting the rights of women and girls, and for clarity that is adult human females and juvenile human females.

Interesting to see which group and only which group you are 'spreading the love not hate' to.

@RedDogsBeg Yep assigned is only another way of saying recorded. So when it is recorded your sex is female your gender is therefore also female. And you're absolutely correct that we can't change sex which is recorded in our DNA. However gender and sex are different and some people choose to change their gender (while they can't chance their sex which is in their DNA). Some choose to alter their outward appearance (gender) to appear as a different sex even though they can't change their XY or XX chromosomes obviously. Don't know why people take it so personally like it's an attack on their own womanhood.

Gender is a made up concept
Post that on Twitter I dare you and see how quickly someone calls you transphobic.

Mumaof0 tells us we can't possibly understand gender presentation.

If you are dim enough to make statements like that then I'm afraid you just illustrate how transing children is a pastime for the terminally stupid.

Spread love not hate...
Do people who plop on and off think that the next person to read this thread will just read their posts about how awful feminists are and then say "oh witches the lot of them!".
Maybe the next person will read the full thread and will make their own minds up about which poster is spreading hate...

@Lifeinthelastlane Well it is, animals don't have gender do they they only have sex (male or female) that determines their differences. Gender dysphoria is what trans people have because they have grown up in what they feel is the wrong gender for them. What about trans people is so harmful to young girls?

Mumaof0 Don't know why people take it so personally like it's an attack on their own womanhood

If you knew as much about the subject as you claim you would know that is very much an attack on womanhood. Interesting to note that you accept humans cannot change sex, do you realise that the very utterance of this deems you transphobic and you should die in fire?

Assigned is not another way of saying recorded, they mean two totally different things.