Men pushing in in queues and not social distancing.

[HeIenaDove]

I know in the scheme of things this is only small but its the bloody entitlement that gets to me.

When the new Coronavirus Bill came in last Thursday two men used the 2 m gap to try to push in front while i was queuing outside Tesco.

Re, social distancing , i try i really try to stay 2m from people at all times on the rare occasions but the amount of men who walk right next to me or towards me KNOWING that i will move.

This afternoon was the final straw Queuing outside Sainsburys observing the 2 m rule i had to wait until the queue moved to where the trolleys were . There was no way i could get to them BEFORE queuing and observe the 2m rule so i had to wait in the queue before i got to them. I leant across to put my pound in the slot and the FOUR men queuing behind me jumped the queue by moving along in front.

Im so fed up with the entitlement Every time its been a man EVERY TIME. Ive not seen this from women at all .

And in a remote "classroom" that doubles as your living room like the actual kids too!

(Condolences and wine to those currently finding themselves homeschooling when that was never something they'd planned for.)

Recognising behaviour patterns of people as group ( in a particular time and place ) isn’t the same as saying that every single member of that group anywhere in the world for the whole of human history has behaved like that .

I really am starting to wonder if people have actually read this discussion.

The OP gave her observations which she thought seemed like a pattern. Some agreed with her while other said they did not see the same pattern, and that they felt that she was probably working from too little data.

They weren't saying that all men don't do that, therefore there is no patter. They were questioning whether there was a sex related pattern of behaviour at all and/or were concerned about extrapolating a pattern from too few, or contradictory, observations. There wasn't anyone denying the OPs personal observations, just saying that others observations didn't always match and we didn't have a lot of observations to work with given the newness of the situation.

At which point several people claimed that those who thought that way were either men, or fibbing about their observations, or trying to stop women analysing the situation, or getting support, or they didn't understand class analysis, or were blaming bad male behaviour on women.

How is that denial that patterns of behaviour exist?

It's been made quite clear that we're not allowed to have that kind of discussion, Goose, so I am being very out of character compliant on the matter. I believe the currently sanctioned topic of discussion is bullying, but you will have to double check.

I really am starting to wonder if people have actually read this discussion.

The OP gave her observations which she thought seemed like a pattern. Some agreed with her while other said they did not see the same pattern, and that they felt that she was probably working from too little data.

It is worth re-reading Goose yes.

OP HeIenaDove wrote about her experiences Fri 03-Apr-20 20:32:12
"I know in the scheme of things this is only small but its the bloody entitlement that gets to me.

When the new Coronavirus Bill came in last Thursday two men used the 2 m gap to try to push in front while i was queuing outside Tesco.

Re, social distancing , i try i really try to stay 2m from people at all times on the rare occasions but the amount of men who walk right next to me or towards me KNOWING that i will move.

This afternoon was the final straw Queuing outside Sainsburys observing the 2 m rule i had to wait until the queue moved to where the trolleys were . There was no way i could get to them BEFORE queuing and observe the 2m rule so i had to wait in the queue before i got to them. I leant across to put my pound in the slot and the FOUR men queuing behind me jumped the queue by moving along in front.

Im so fed up with the entitlement Every time its been a man EVERY TIME. Ive not seen this from women at all .

• on the rare occasions i do go out to shop for food."

Yours was the first response:
Goosefoot Fri 03-Apr-20 20:44:01
I think this is just people. Not men in particular.

just saying that others observations didn't always match and we didn't have a lot of observations to work with given the newness of the situation

To be honest if this had been the first reply i would probably have kept my trap shut

Ive only been out once and couldn’t see (possibly being too terrified or making a mistake myself) anyone male or female being a twat...and obviously i did say this eventually

YY Rufus

My personal experience so far (as I have posted) is no problems with people of either sex.
There are likely a number of factors involved, including luck.

And again, there are patterns and people do observe them and form opinions accordingly. Which may then result in them not taking some of those whose patterns they've observed over time particularly seriously on particular topics.

I'm not angry either. Who is?
That would be me. I have been angry since I was five years old and my uncle asked me what I wanted to be when I grow up and then told me I couldn't be what I wanted to because I'm a girl.
That simmering anger over injustice has been the force that moved me to action, just as it has been for so many women over the years and does to this day.
This thread, on the other hand, just makes me sad.

Didn’t go to a girls school

At my school a boy held a lit cigarette up to my eye and he and his friends held a boy by his ankles over two flights of stairs

The second Instance was bullying behavior

Our schools were a world apart and yet they had much in common. Shhh. It was male behavior patters.

How edifying ( not) that some have taken to reporting others for expressing their views and experiences. What a shower! Honestly! Embarrassing and actually very injurious to the common cause. Actually backs up what I was expressing too. Not good!

TinselAngel

I really dislike Morris Dancing but I don't go on Morris dancing forums and tell them they're all doing it wrong

Utterly irrelevant. Same as the "don't go on Litter Tray/Dog House/ etc, etc , etc " threads.

I'm not a Morris Dancer - I am a woman. The idea that only whatever the current approved flavour of the month woman should be posting here is nonsense.

It's said on here often enough that feminism is a political theory- if it is it's up for criticism.

TheProdigalKittensReturn

To be fair Mumsnet as a whole must be a bit of a shock to anyone who's not used to swearing. Don't ever visit Glasgow, Just, you'll feel like the whole city is in a rage and it will be very upsetting

I'm so bored with this tedious little trope/ sweeping generalisation. I've lived in Glasgow. Various in- laws live in Glasgow. The Glaswegians I know do not go around swearing all the time. "Cunt" is not a term of endearment.

I'm so bored with this tedious little trope/ sweeping generalisation. I've lived in Glasgow. Various in- laws live in Glasgow. The Glaswegians I know do not go around swearing all the time. "Cunt" is not a term of endearment

I agree - maybe that post should be reported.......when in Rome and all ( do as you would have done)......

I live in Liverpool ( a similar kind of city to Glasgow), and over the years, having lived all over the country and been exposed to it, the amount of sheer, undiluted prejudice has been quite something. It is almost a form of racism.

LOL! I love Glasgow. Censorious randoms on the internet, not so much.

So, it wasn't you who reported one of my posts, which was then deleted? That's good!

It would seem that some people think they are immune when making negative generalisations about entire groups and populations; but when someone else - not in the friendship group - uses a word such as 'bitchy', for example, to express actual spiteful behaviour - the same rule does not seem to apply.

i wouldn't have bothered coming back onto this nasty little thread if my post had not been reported, and alerted me to it.

The only time I ever report posts is if someone is obviously trolling (by which I mean really obvious, "hello my name is Trolly from Trollandia" obvious).

LOL! I love Glasgow. Censorious randoms on the internet, not so much

Your point being? I don't see anyone criticising Glasgow as a place.

I was criticising the hackneyed old trope that Glaswegians are constantly swearing and it's all just fine and normal. That's not my experience of Glasgow.

Nope. I rarely report unless it is an obvious just joined on the wind up troll.

I think if one has a post deleted its generally one's own fault for breaking the talk guidelines, rather than the fault of whoever reported it isn't it?

I report "you're a man" almost every time - although not the spectacularly crass one made recently about a poster of 15 years standing

I think the lazy generalisation about Glasgow doesn't deserve reporting. It says quite a lot in its own way- although not necessarily what the poster might think it does.

You can always ask MNHQ why the post was deleted and appeal if you think they've got it wrong. Always worth a try.

I don’t usually report on here...lots of FWR posters seem to want posts to stand

Certainly wouldn’t report someone for saying bitchy

BUT we do have external monitors and it wouldn’t surprise me if somethings get deleted purely for stirring purposes

Sorry MNHQ I mistyped

I should have reread

I don’t believe they are Deleted for stirring purposes

I believe they are REPORTED for stirring purposes

And MNHQ quite rightly delete posts they believe break guidelines

I don’t usually report on here...lots of FWR posters seem to want posts to stand

Certainly wouldn’t report someone for saying bitchy

BUT we do have external monitors and it wouldn’t surprise me if somethings get reported purely for stirring purposes

Justhadathought
I'm guessing it was the violation of talk guidelines regarding personal attacks that have gotten several comments by several people reported and deleted.
It is always interesting on a long wandering thread like this when there is more than one merailer competing for primacy.