I think perhaps part of the intention here is to do exactly what some people are, in all innocence, doing on this thread. Conflating sexual orientation with sexual preferences. It in effect minimizes what lesbians like myself are saying -- I don't want to have a relationship with you, not because of your funny genitalia, but because you are a male. Not because of your hobby, or your appearance, or your history, but because you are (and always will be) male. And you will remain male whatever surgery or hormones you have, however you dress, what hobbies you do or don't take up.
But of course, TRAs would like us to pretend that sex and biology aren't fixed, that it is what is inside that matters, that I should be attracted to someones secret inner female essence, whatever their actual sex. That actual biology and sex don't matter, and that like other sexual preferences, we can be taught to accept them if we try hard enough and convince ourselves that we are bad for feeling that way. Actually, I have heard that argument so many times when it comes to actual sexual preferences (try it, you might like it, why be so vanilla...........).
Of course, we all know that it is only women who get so berated for trying to have actual boundaries. Same ole same ole, we know misogyny when it comes through the door. Very male, every time!