Parents objecting to male nursery staff changing nappies

[popehilarious]

www.nurseryworld.co.uk/nursery-world/news/1168681/parents-uncomfortable-with-male-practitioners-changing-their-childs-nappy

Hope the clicky link works.
The male staff are usually the key workers who would normally change nappies but some parents object.

I'm not a safeguarding expert but presumably the same rules and policies apply to both sexes of staff? How can a nursery as an employer discriminate duties on the basis of sex, or would this fall under the exemptions (ie asking for same-sex person to do intimate care) where the child is female? I'm a bit muddled about this.

My son had male nursery key workers who were great role models.

Ridiculous

So disheartening to see. How can parents honestly think that no healthy normal man, only a pedophile would want to go into child care?
It’s a form of misandry.

To get equality all jobs need to be equally acceptable to both men and women.

I would find the request for a child to be changed by a carer if at all possible if the same sex understandable, in the same way I am offered a female doctor. But a blanket no men is quite insulting to every decent man.

And on the day that loathe-some woman gets out of jail for abusing small children at a nursery.

I read this article to my husband and he asked whether the mums involved also ban their husbands/their dc's fathers from changing nappies, giving baths, etc?!

Absolutely ridiculous that some parents are breeding fear in to their children from such a young age.

I like the comment one male worker made that after the child's parent asked him not to get involved, the child himself decided the male worker was his favourite and they had a great relationship!

I used to work in a nursery where they used to say that if someone has a problem with a male nursery nurses, there's plenty of other nurseries out there. The managers just wouldn't let this happen.

I don't really see how this can be managed. I understand what the parents are thinking, but the fact is that diapers need to be changed, and if the child is in a care situation, it won't be mum or dad it will be a daycare worker.

I also think it's generally positive to have some male childcare workers, it's good for the kids.

At that age, I don't think restricting helpers to changing kids of the same sex makes any difference, it's not like an adult with a nurse.

I would think the more sensible safeguards against sexual abuse would be around where changing facilities were located and that sort of thing.

coconut

That is the only response I’d be happy with.
To keep up ridiculous sex stereotypes limits everybody. Men can and should work in childcare and should be accountable in exactly the same way female employees are - no more - no less.

See I'm really torn on this. Think we would all love to see more male staff in nurseries. Child care is something alot of males basically opt out of even at home. And seeing that reflected in the work place only enhances the point that its " womens work"

But

We know that over 95 percent of sexual assaults carried out on women and girls is perpetrated by men.

Many women who are dropping off their children at nurseries will have been victims of sexual assult and will understandably be wanting to keep their kids safe.

Statistically a significant amount of abuse is at the hands of people that you know. Regular nursery attendance would make a nursery worker somebody they know.

Its a catch 22 really.

But we need to stop blaming mothers for worrying about something and being silly or discriminatory over something that is a result of mens behaviour .

And we need to ask ourselves why dads as well go along with this. Because dads will know what men are like too.

I dont know what the answer here is really tbh

I do know that it's the fault of men though and men need to work on turning this around somehow rather than it being framed as a hysterical parent thing

Does this mean that, as a Mum (and therefore not the same biology) I don't have to change my disabled son's nappy? And that I could have made DH do this for the last ten years?

And on the day that loathe-some woman gets out of jail for abusing small children at a nursery

I didn't know about this

And people wonder why we struggle to get positive male role models to enter eyfs & primary Ed

Vastly prefer all places where children need intimate care to have robust safeguarding policies around adults being alone with a child in their charge. There are various setups possible, like changing stations that are easy to keep an eye on. My mother ran nurseries, her staff were expected to make sure everyone followed the rules, keep an eye on each other, and they did so for their own protection, too. (Well, they also did so to make sure everyone did their fair share.)

A blanket ban on men doing what is a perfectly normal part of the job does amount to sex discrimination. However, under certain circumstances, staff, management and parents may come to specific agreements for individual children.

Difficult one.

Men are statistically far more likely to abuse children than women. We know abusers are attracted to roles in childcare. We know a startlingly high percentage of children so sadly suffer sexual abuse, and often via someone they know.

So statistically speaking your child being looked after by a Male career does up their risk of being sexually abused.

Not sure what the answer is but ensuring the strongest possible safeguarding practices are put in place for both sexes is certainly part of it.

Career?!? Carer!

And people wonder why we struggle to get positive male role models to enter eyfs & primary Ed

I'm sure this is a factor I wont say otherwise.

But I do also think it's a very convenient excuse not to.

There are a fair few male secondary teachers and they teach teenage girls and no one really thinks about it.

Nursery and infant kids need alot more supervision, and alot more "parenting" and possibly intimate care. When men dont even do this at home they arent going to come to work and do it are they.

I think theres a degree of hiding behind it tbh

Ridiculous

But I am less than impressed by the persistence on using the word gender when they mean sex. The article also gives the impression that this is about sex stereotypes when it is about sex

*But we need to stop blaming mothers for worrying about something and being silly or discriminatory over something that is a result of mens behaviour .

And we need to ask ourselves why dads as well go along with this. Because dads will know what men are like too*

It is discriminatory. One of the worst abusers of children in a nursery setting was a woman- mentioned above as getting out of prison.

It’s not unknown for paedophiles to access children, or pictures children, through their caregivers.

It’s not unheard of for parents to sexually abuse their own kids.

You can’t exclude everyone on the basis of what they might do. If the nursery has appropriate safeguarding for intimate care- open doors, no lone access etc then that is how you minimise the risk, not by assuming some people are “safe” and others “risk” purely because of their sex.

You can’t exclude everyone on the basis of what they might do. If the nursery has appropriate safeguarding for intimate care- open doors, no lone access etc then that is how you minimise the risk, not by assuming some people are “safe” and others “risk” purely because of their sex

I agree safeguarding should be at the heart of everything.

And I have never said that women have never abused their own child or someone elses.

But ultimately as I said the reason this is even an.issue is because of male behaviour. It's why they are supposed to have separate changing areas and toilets when they get a bit older. Because 90 percent of attacks that happen at say swimming pools happen in mixed changing villages.

We cant ignore statistics and facts because it's hard to look at. And hurts feelings.

Reducing contact with men does reduce the possibility of abuse whether or not we.like to admit that. But that on men. Amd.i.would hope these Male workers as upset as they are with parents being wary are also equally angry at the men who are the reasons they feel that way.

I've liked most my dds Male teachers . I certainly never thought anything of them.having Male teachers in fact one was the nest teacher dd1 had in primary school. It's not something I.am.personally wary of. I'm.just saying I can see why.

I would only want a woman changing my child's nappy. For sure.

We can request female doctors.
We should be able to request female child minders.

If I am not comfortable with a male doctor lookig at my bits,
Why should I make my child have a strange man look at her bits?

I had the biggest argument I’ve ever had with another feminist about this. I got an absolute pasting, both for suggesting that it’s discriminatory to assume men wanting to work in childcare have sinister motives and that it promotes sex-based stereotypes that hold back women as much as men, and for daring to disagree with another woman IN A FEMINIST GROUP. It’s reassuring to know I’m not actually in a minority of one on this.

I worked in a Nursery when this exact thing happened some years ago!.We got round it by the male member of staff playing football ,and the female staff members doing nappies .Everyone was happy and on the days the little girl didnt attend, nappies would be done by all concerned!.I agree that this is discriminatory .But parents entrust their children to us ,and if they are not happy we need to look at what we can do about it to help everyone get along.

angel84, it isn’t the same thing at all. You don’t want to receive intimate care from a male because you want to protect your privacy and dignity. Infants who are still in nappies don’t have any concept of either, and it’s pointless to impose those feelings on them. All that matters is that their nappies are changed by someone who will be gentle and observe proper hygiene practices. Men can do that just as well as women.

If it was the other way round & women were being discriminated against there would be uproar!