Person in women's shelter boasts about spirting erection, shelter supports 'her'

[SunsetBeetch]

I posted this on the This Never Happens thread, but it's so horrible I think it deserves its own thread.

Canada of course.

Trans women posts about wandering around naked with an erection in a women's shelter(even providing the address of the shelter). They also appear to have mental health issues. Concerned women tweet the shelter. The shelter responds by asking people not to 'spread harmful mistruths' about trans people.

A women's shelter actually putting vulnerable women in danger. This is how far things have gone in Canada.

Please retweet. Women in one of the most unsafe neighbourhoods in Canada are forced to bunk up with an obvious predator. He gets amusement from exposing his male body to vulnerable women. Self ID hurts women. #dtes #vancouver @VancouverPD @VanRapeRelief #gendercritical t.co/GCJCAkGL8Z
by MNHQ to remove the Tweet containing the address of a women's shelter

Privilege! Ha. I knew I was waffling about something which could be said concisely!

Don't worry. Carry on with your faux undergrad level sociology without me.

My first instinct was right.

Thanks Tyro, for getting it. You are a star.

I hate that it's happening to you, Detroit, but I am in awe of your courage for refusing to be flattened and your determination to keep going forwards instead of stagnating. Thank you for having the courage to keep posting even when not everyone has worked it out yet.

Your words show us how it works, so we know how it happens, so we know how to make sure it stops happening. Keep shouting.

That's what "the personal is the political" means. But they stole the words and they steal the words, and now no one knows how to feel it until they feel it by living it.

And until you've lived it, you can't differentiate between sympathy and empathy.

I have no understanding of that post. Homelessness is a problem, why is it wrong to say that?

Don't worry. Carry on with your faux undergrad level sociology without me.

My first instinct was right.

What does that mean?

I think we're irritating Detroit with the way we are talking about it being a 'problem' for 'other people, over there'.

She doesn't see herself as a problem- quite rightly. It's hard to talk about without falling into various traps.

But the situation is shocking and disgusting and I'm well aware that it could be me. None of us are immune. This isn't something we can opt out of or immunise ourselves against.

Tyro's breakdown on the previous page is exactly what's happening. I know its not fun to read from the perspective of the person who's inadvertently upsetting someone else who's at the sharp end of the issue being discussed as it's being discussed, but these are group dynamics and we all find ourselves in that situation at some point.

Detroit is currently on the sharp end of all this and it's not reasonable to expect her not to react as if generalized discussions apply to her directly, because right now they do. The board as a whole is not going to stop discussing this issue because someone who seems to see policing other women's level of niceness as their role (unelected, I will note) thinks that's what we should do. Trying to work through it as a group would probably be the ideal solution, agreeing to drop it for now because multiple people are feeling attacked and the direct participants are at a "nope, done" stage is also fine, but "oh well if everyone can't be nice then no more discussion" is an unhealthy way for a community to operate (and not the way this one does, thankfully).

(It took me a while to get my head around Tyro's writing style but I'm getting there now. Took a while because something about it was hitting my own "this reminds me of someone I associate with chaos demon like behavior in a community I'm indirectly connected to" button. Figuring out why you're having that kind of not entirely conscious reaction tends to help, ime.)

So in summary - multiple people are angry, that's a normal human response, trying to shut it down with demands that women stop being people with emotions and the tendency to express them verbally/in text form is where I draw a line and say a firm no.

(Note that I do not think Aaarrgghhh is doing this.)

(Please excuse the multiple parentheses and addendums, sleep deprivation, lack of coffee, and snafus you're unable to fix at work are a bad combination.)

It takes an extremely strong, grounded person to let other people's rage wash over them. It took me years to learn, and I need regular breaks away from it or I go under.

We work around her, because it's her life. It's Detroit's life, and she's one of us.

This.

Detroit is currently on the sharp end of all this and it's not reasonable to expect her not to react as if generalized discussions apply to her directly, because right now they do.

And this.

And I'm not one to mind my Ps and Qs either - without even being in Detroit's shoes.

So I'll say: this is a feminist board. A fucking feminist board. If the best you can manage by way of contribution is to police a woman in crisis - shame on you.

If you read this post and take offence because you think I mean you: good. Consider your anti-feminism well and duly bloody policed.

If you read this post and take offence because you think I mean you: good. Consider your anti-feminism well and duly bloody policed.

Applauds Lang.

I was homeless myself for a time during winter (London so I guess not as bad weather wise?) put myself in so many dangerous situations, weed kept me going (I could get it without paying for it) and I was raped a few times or threatened with rape other times, it was hell.

Did nobody else read this? Aarrgggh

Kind of midreading where the irritation is being directed there.

I think it's problematic to be discussing things in good faith, from a perspective of having some experience with an issue, and trying as much as possible through a written medium to be clear and empathetic, and to be sworn at and have it made clear that the only way to be allowed to carry on is total capitulation to another POV and their views about it, what is allowed to be discussed, and what language can be used. And in terms of healthy boundaries, I'm not prepared to accept those terms, even for someone who is stuck in a really bad situation, just like I don't accept it from people facing other serious problems.

I expect a tidal wave of abuse for the comments I am about to post, and I thought about name-changing, but these are my genuinely-held beliefs and they whilst they may seem harsh, I think they need saying. There is a strong policing of language here that struck me from early on as being reminiscent of TRAs. Can you not see the parallels? This, along with the highly-emotive language, also reminiscent of TRAs, makes me very uncomfortable.

I do not pretend to understand homelessness at a very deep level, but I am sure every homeless person has a different narrative, experience and outlook, so I am afraid that I don’t believe you can be the spokesperson for all homeless people everywhere, Detroit, and the sole arbiter of how homelessness is discussed.

I am sorry that life is difficult for you at the moment, Detroit but I don’t think that is reason enough for you to dominate and curtail this discussion. Life is also difficult for many of the rest of us in different ways. We cope however we can, which may or may not include posting on Mumsnet. Just because we don’t post about our problems (for example, it is my policy not to post anything personal and important to me) doesn’t mean we are living cushy lives and giving little thought to the vulnerable in society.

Antibles Thank you.

I honestly don’t know what I’ve apparently said to piss people off so much but fucking hell, at least read before slagging me off.

Reversals are odd things to witness.

Agree Goosefoot and charlie

You're welcome Aaarrgh. I'm very sorry you have experienced what you have. From my reading of the thread you said nothing 'wrong'. If someone who has actually been homeless and raped as a consequence isn't qualified to comment I'm not sure who else possibly could be. Hence I see what Charlie means.

Charleston sorry.

DEWC has made an appointment that says absolutely nothing of substance

dewc.ca/news/statement-concerning-recent-facebook-and-twitter-postings

Statement concerning recent Facebook and Twitter postings
Recently, the Downtown Eastside Women’s Centre has been inundated with transphobic messages, comments, and negative reviews on Facebook and Twitter after we confirmed our trans-inclusive stance online in regards to a trans woman who accessed our shelter.

The Downtown Eastside Women’s Centre (DEWC) strives to provide a safe, secure non-judgmental refuge along with basic need and support services for any and all women [cisgender and transgender] in Vancouver’s Downtown Eastside. Providing services to over 600 women each day, 7 days a week, DEWC supports a diverse population including Indigenous women, Chinese senior women, single mothers, women with disabilities, women with addictions, and women with mental and/or physical health conditions. What many women have in common is lack of adequate income, precarious housing situations, lack of access to heath supports, as well as experiencing high levels of violence and racism.

Creating and maintaining low-barrier safe space for all women accessing DEWC services is our priority, particularly for the women who survive with complex trauma, mental health, and/or addiction issues where they are often excluded from shelters and transition houses outside of the Downtown Eastside. It is important to note that trans women are especially marginalized, facing disproportionate abuse and harassment in both co-ed spaces and when accessing women’s services, and have even fewer safe spaces to go.

DEWC stands with all [cis and trans] women of the community continuing our work ensuring women have safe, accessible services and supports. We are committed to women’s safety and will continue to address internally any behavior that compromises the safety and security of women accessing DEWC services. Importantly, we refuse to engage in a dialogue that gives a platform to transphobic groups or individuals or otherwise does damage to women who are transgender.

Appointment? Statement!

Yes I posted it earlier. It's an infuriating response to women's real safety concerns.

It's a stupid statement.

I suppose in a way they are in a difficult place with making a statement. Even if they have taken some action, they may well not want to put any information about this Tyler person, or what they have said or done to Tyler, on Twitter or in the media generally, and they are probably right, it would be inappropriate.

But it would be nice to have some indication that they are thinking about how this kind of behaviour affects people in their care. Maybe they think that is what they have done.

Translation:

1. TWAW and actually the most important kind of women.

2. Transphobia means not being penis centred at all times and committing heresy. (Failure to believe and evangelise point 1)

3. Shutupshutupshutupshutupshutup about facts and reality.

simplest response:

The way you treat, enable and protect this individual and their obviously wholly unacceptable behaviour makes very clear indeed how superficial the 'TWAW' claim is and how little you believe it.

Aaaaargh what you’ve been through sounds horrendous.

I can hardly believe what this shelter is saying. It’s dystopian.

(Been away processing for a few days and just caught up.)

Aaarrrggghhh I am sorry that no one cared for you and helped you when you were homeless. It should never have happened to you. It should never happen to anyone. You needed women around you who would empathise and fight for you. We all need that.

And this from Kittens:

(It took me a while to get my head around Tyro's writing style but I'm getting there now. Took a while because something about it was hitting my own "this reminds me of someone I associate with chaos demon like behavior in a community I'm indirectly connected to" button.

This is the reason I am anti-patriarchy. This is what patriarchy does to the little girls and little boys who fall over the edge of the nest and are lost.

It took me a very long time to truly understand that the words I had been trained to use, the words I had been trained to believe were objective truth and more important than imaginary feelings, were the one thing cutting me off from establishing mutually nurturing relationships with women.

What the wise and wonderful Kittens is receiving from my transmission? It's how my dad trained me to mask the underlying ASD that he didn't believe was real. It's the same thing that trips the "hang on, is this person a man?" suspicion in the regulars around here. I am so grateful for Kittens () for not disengaging, and for trying to find the meaning behind my words instead of assuming her own was the objective truth.

And I'm still bloody angry that we can't have male, female, and unisex shelters! It means you're only allowed a safety net if your trauma-triggers aren't both sexed&gendered. And it'll only be fixed if men start needed shelters from sexual violence committed by women. That'd be the twelfth of never, then.

The female class is the protected class. That's how it has to be.