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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

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Original poster

Remember that grey hair is rarely attractive

159 replies

TheGreysAreComing · 07/08/2019 16:46

5. Remember that grey hair is rarely attractive unless you have the correct combination of skin tone and eye colouring! (You suit clothes in blues, lilacs, greys and pinks and have neutral skin tone and grey/blue eyes).

www.danielfieldmailorder.co.uk/support/?q=1017

Thoughts? Posting this in FWR as I know AIBU will be full of posters who wish to post that actually they do believe grey hair on women is unattractive.. like pubes, and women leaving the house without a chaperone face full of makeup.

Regardless of a person's personal beliefs on grey hair (or any colour) there is something exceptionally sexist and patronising in advising women to remember they are unattractive. Now, now ladies, lest you forget or start to feel confident in your hair colour, you are probably unattractive.

Also, I've known lots of beautiful black women with grey hair btw but not a single one with blue eyes though.. so not sure if this brand counts them or not. Hmm

OP posts:
AngelasAshes · 07/08/2019 22:29

I’m 46 and no grey hair yet. Not all of us dye our hair.

sakura184 · 07/08/2019 22:35

Not just saying this but I think women who have grey hair often (not always) look better than women who dye it. Meryl Streep in The Devil Wears Prada!

andyoldlabour · 07/08/2019 23:08

I once had a girlfriend say to me - "Are you going to dye your hair black, after it turns ginger/grey after turning grey?"
She didn't really like my ginger hair.
Didn't last long after that.

Likeazombi · 07/08/2019 23:10

I've been going grey since I was 14.
20 years later I'm ready, and more confident, partly thanks to this board, to embrace myself as a I am and do away with expensive, time consuming, messy and environmentally unfriendly chores just to pander to societies, especially men's expectations.
I like my hair, I like myself as I am and I'm proud of myself for getting to that point in life against all the shitty messaging we receive everyday, telling us we're not good enough, after years of battling eating disorders and self loathing.
I also get a perverse thrill from completely confusing people and their expectations because my face looks 25, I'm tiny and immature but my hair is about 50% grey.

sakura184 · 07/08/2019 23:18

I think women with grey hair look younger when they don't dye it.

barelove · 07/08/2019 23:27

I read this thread as saying:

Remember that grey hair is really attractive

And I was thinking 'Thanks! Yeah I reckon it is too Grin

AnotherAdultHumanFemale · 07/08/2019 23:30

It's all about making money. If hairdressers and hair product companies told us all we all looked great with natural, unstyled hair, they wouldn't have a business. So they manufacture insecurity if we don't have it already, in order to sell us things we don't actually need.

Having said that I started going grey quite young and don't really like how it looks one me so I get my hair dyed, also so that the texture matches my natural hair (I do think it looks great on some women, but they are usually about 30 years older than me and are completely grey).

NonnyMouse1337 · 07/08/2019 23:43

Unsurprisingly it's a company that sells hair dye.

Ha! Imagine that... Manufacturing and exploiting people's insecurities for profit. Smile

Ineedacupofteadesperately · 07/08/2019 23:49

The thing I find interesting is the assumption that women should care if they're attractive. Why? I don't. There is exactly, in the entire world, only one person (DH) that I want to be attracted to me. I don't care about the rest and frankly I'd rather other people weren't attracted to me (thankfully 2 children and middle age and indeed grey hair has helped on this score).

I would like people to think I look presentable, but that is an entirely different thing. I actually think grey hair can actually create quite a favourable impression of age and wisdom (maybe kidding myself on the last one though :) )

MoreNiceCereal · 07/08/2019 23:59

I can't wait to go white. I shall dye my hair bright unicorn colours without having to bleach it first. It is going to be amazing.

Likeazombi · 08/08/2019 00:00

What I find more interesting is the idea that attraction from males can only be achieved by maintaining ridiculous beauty standards and manufactured youth.
I'm not married, I've been single for quite a while and eventually I would like to attract a partner, male or female, not on the look out but don't want to be alone forever, I'm only in my early 30s after all.
What I really want is for that person to be attracted to me, and love me, for more than how i look. I'm not unattractive looks wise, but there is much more to me than that.
I think me growing my grey hair is a symptom of that, I don't want a shallow man, grey hair is bound to weed some of them out.

hipsterfun · 08/08/2019 01:25

Arguably, undyed roots coming though looks rather worse. What have you got to say to that, hair dye peddler? Hmm

Goosefoot · 08/08/2019 01:57

The thing I find interesting is the assumption that women should care if they're attractive.

I think this might just be one of those things that is true. A lot of people care about it. We try and increase those feelings, to sell stuff, but it might just be natural and there will always be many people who want to be attractive.

AnotherAdultHumanFemale · 08/08/2019 02:07

If you're a straight woman who is single and looking for a partner, you want to be attractive to men. Unfortunately a lot of men seem to only want to date young women, so having grey hair is an instant put off. However, as another poster pointed out, these men tend to be shallow and do not make good partners, because who wants to be with a man who can't bare to see you ageing.

Sashkin · 08/08/2019 05:50

I once had a girlfriend say to me - "Are you going to dye your hair black, after it turns ginger/grey after turning grey?

Andy one of the many wonderful things about being a ginger is we don’t go grey. Maybe white, or in my case just a few blonde strands. Like expensively subtle highlights, but for free Grin. Put that in your pipe and smoke it Daniel Field.

whatswithtodaytoday · 08/08/2019 06:04

I have a five month old baby. Looking attractive is riiiiight at the bottom of my list of priorities, and I'm taking the opportunity of maternity leave to grow my dye out and go grey, because my hair is up all the time and the line won't show.

I'm excited to see how it looks! I love salt and pepper hair on others, and as my skin has started reacting to hair dye it's a much safer option, as well as saving me £££££.

Ohyesiam · 08/08/2019 06:08

My hair is grey, I love it.
So do other people, they tell me all the time.
I got married last week andmy delicious grey hair had roses nestling in it.
The daily mail can, as usual, fuck off, while I find my unadorned self good enough.

borntobequiet · 08/08/2019 06:08

I’ve had more compliments about my hair and looks in general since letting it go grey. It varies in streaks of white, silver and steel grey, and I’ve had it cut in a longish messy bob. It’s good to look nice as you get older. As others have said, I find it’s in better condition now with no products used. Daniel Field’s comments are bollocks.

HulksPurplePanties · 08/08/2019 06:35

I've got the correct skin tones and eye color to go grey (according to the ass hat), but I have reddy-brown hair so I'm not going grey I'm going white (and have been since I was 16). Wonder what he thinks of that?

I actually grew my hair (been coloring my a variety of colors since I was 16 and took a part time job at a hair salon, I'd actually forgotten what my natural was) out hoping to get that lovely salt & pepper look, but alas, now everyone assumes I've had expensive highlights done and ask where I got them. :(

NonnyMouse1337 · 08/08/2019 06:57

Do funky colours like purple, blue and green stick to white / grey hair?
I read a number of years ago that most dyes like that don't coat white / grey hairs properly or don't come out as bright as they should.

I'm hoping I'm wrong and that I can dye my hair unicorn colours too in a few years. :)

vasya · 08/08/2019 07:05

That's so condescending and unnecessary. Absolutely grim attitude.

Grey hair can, of course, look beautiful but that isn't the point - the assumption that being attractive is one's purpose is so depressing.

Ticklemeelmo · 08/08/2019 08:09

I just googled this guy and don't think he's in any position to pass judgment on what's not attractive in others. People in glass houses etc....

TirisfalPumpkin · 08/08/2019 08:37

That is not how seasonal colour analysis works...

Grey hair is ‘compatible’ with any skin tone. A ‘neutral’ skin tone is one that is neither cool nor warm. Quick and dirty check is see whether you suit silver or gold, or if your veins look blue or green, if you’re pale. If neither, you may be neutral.

The only thing it might affect is if you’re high-contrast (ie pale skin, black hair) and your hair goes white or light grey, you may start to suit softer colours rather than bright primaries. It is impossible not to ‘suit’ the hair that naturally grows out of your head.

Misogynistic guff. Grey hair is great. I am proud of my greys, they are distinguished af.

TheCountessofFitzdotterel · 08/08/2019 09:07

Nonnymouse, I used a semi permanent blue dye a few years ago and it looked great on the grey bits. It didn't last long but then it wasn't meant to.

Namelessinseattle · 08/08/2019 09:14

I saw this thread yesterday and thought it said “remember, grey hair is really attractive” and I though agreed! And moved on. So after a challenging morning I saw t again and said oh lovely ill read that..... oh. Rarely. I think my title was better.