Remember that grey hair is rarely attractive

[TheGreysAreComing]

5. Remember that grey hair is rarely attractive unless you have the correct combination of skin tone and eye colouring! (You suit clothes in blues, lilacs, greys and pinks and have neutral skin tone and grey/blue eyes).

www.danielfieldmailorder.co.uk/support/?q=1017

Thoughts? Posting this in FWR as I know AIBU will be full of posters who wish to post that actually they do believe grey hair on women is unattractive.. like pubes, and women leaving the house without a chaperone face full of makeup.

Regardless of a person's personal beliefs on grey hair (or any colour) there is something exceptionally sexist and patronising in advising women to remember they are unattractive. Now, now ladies, lest you forget or start to feel confident in your hair colour, you are probably unattractive.

Also, I've known lots of beautiful black women with grey hair btw but not a single one with blue eyes though.. so not sure if this brand counts them or not.

I think it normally means neither "warm" or "cool". But I'm somewhat convinced that's all bullshit anyway.

I remember Chetna from a few series ago on the Bake Off, and it being a real eye opener to me how fab a woman can look with grey hair. We’re so conditioned to believe that ageing is awful and we should deny it at all cost, I don’t think I’d ever seen a woman as young as her who didn’t cover their greys. Certainly she doesn’t have blue/grey eyes either.

I think she looks brilliant but as she doesn't appear to have blue eyes, I've probably got that wrong, and she actually looks shit.

My olive-skinned, hazel-eyed mum regularly has strangers stopping her in the street to say how fab her (grey) hair is

Wtf is a ‘neutral’ skin tone? Surely skin tone is by definition neutral? Or is that some weird race thing I’m not getting?

Usually skin tones are categorised by a sort of underlying sense, IIRC there are people with more yellow skin tones, and people with more blue skin tones. It's not necessarily related to race, you can get both in many different ethnic groups. People's eye colour tends to natural suit their skin tone, and usually their natural hair colour is also in the same group of tones.

Anyway, many people feel that the colours that are flattering to you, make you look healthy and vibrant, and not sick or sallow, or which don't sort of clash, are the ones that blend with your skin tone. So for example, lilac or purple might look great on someone with blue in their tone, but a greeny yellow might look awful. And vice versa. (Do you remember years ago people getting their colours done and having a "season"? It's the same idea. They also tend to say that silver goes with the blue skin tones and gold with the yellow ones.

What I think he is saying is that people who look good with grey hair are the people who look good in silver, whereas the people who have more yellow undertones aren't suited by it as well. It seems too simplistic to me, even if you accept the principle, but there is a kind of logic to it.

Ha - so to finish, a neutral skin tone would I guess be one that wasn't to extreme in either direction?

He is running a small mailorder business selling haircare products in Devon

The manufacturers address, which I think is probably his salon, is rather pleasingly in New Barnet.

But yes, that 'reminder', complete with exclamation mark, is unpleasant. It's got tones of sexism, ageism and racism. Objectification, assumption that women particularly want to be sexually attractive - which is what he presumably means.

Of course it’s going to say grey is unattractive, it’s a mail order website. Can’t tell you you are gorgeous as you are and then succeed at selling you beauty products.

I’ve now gone grey and I’ve never looked so good.

It leaves a grubby feeling when anyone tries to impose their notions of attractiveness as somehow a golden standard of taste.

Sexist, racist, ageist all at once!

Daniel is clearly a nasty little man that can go crawl back to where he came from.

Who is this person and why should women give a shit about what he says?

I'm 35 and already have lots of grey strands. My mum and some high school friends tend to panic for my sake when they see my hair, but I'm not really fussed. Didn't seem to bother the men I went on dates with and doesn't get in the way of my relationship with my partner.

I'd like to experiment with blue and green colours, but since I have dark hair, I'll wait until I have more of the white / grey ones.
I've thought of using natural dyes like henna with indigo, but that's more out of curiosity to see what sort of shades appear once it's washed off and whether the natural product will condition and strengthen my hair. However, the whole process seems so tedious that I haven't bothered so far.

That’s me buggered then! Grey hair, shoulder length beach waves, green eyes, freckled face with very little make up AND soon to be 60!
Do I only go out in public with a bag over my head??!

I clicked on this thinking it would be one of those threads about a sexist advice book or magazine article from the 1890s that somebody has found!

Daniel Field, for example, is a...

Stop putting chemicals in your hair to dye it. It's not beneficial to your hair health or the environment.

Grey hair rocks! I love the colour grey, it is essential to use in paintings.

Men, by the way, are adored for being a silver fox - trust me I just don't get women who say this and they are usually younger and have dyed hair.

Soontobe60

You sound gorgeous!

Soon to be 60 I’m almost 62 and have never felt so good.

What about hair like a badger's arse? Has Daniel pronounced on this. Asking for a friend...

Im 47 and i stopped highlighting my hair approx 10 years ago when i had a baby and toddler and couldn't spare the 5 hours in a salon i needed for a colour and cut. The time was the issue but i also realise the money was ridiculous too. I was very disappointed when my hair grew out at the lack of grey!

I want a full head of it, but i just have some weasily bits at my ears!

I'm grey with very pale skin and brown eyes. I'm gorgeous 😄

I'm in the process of growing my grey hair out at the age of 33.
Funnily enough I don't actually give a shit if this guy or any other guy finds my natural hair attractive or not.
As it happens my lover thinks it's 'sexy' which is good for him because I don't sleep with shallow men who pass negative comment on my appearance, or expect me to waste money and my precious time doing things I don't value for the sake of their egos.

“The last thing I’d want is to go back to the relentless fucking hassle and actual fear I experienced in my 20s when men, apparently, did find me attractive”

So much this! When I was younger, a woman at work told me how upset I’d be when this happened. I told her I was looking forward to it, she said you’re deluded.

Well I’m here now, and it’s great!

Incidentally, OP, maybe you're right to be wary of AIBU, but I've seen threads (maybe on S&B) about women who are choosing to go grey - there's quite a few who are avoiding growing out dye by getting very short cuts and going from there, with lots of mutual encouragement.

My DH asked me why I wasn’t going full grey like my SIL, who looked great with pepper and salt, looked chic with her steel grey bob and now looks amazing with her white hair pixie crop, along with her expensive flowing linen.

I had dark brown hair, which I loved, went very unevenly grey ( think badger) so decided to follow my mother in going for highlights then full blonde. I am enjoying this new view of myself, know that grey isn’t going to look chic with my hair type, will do this until it becomes too much effort/does not suit me .

Who is this person and why should women give a shit about what he says?

Unsurprisingly it's a company that sells hair dye.