Birthing mother abused for refusing male nurse

[sakura184]

This kind of crap is why I opted for homebirths

pjmedia.com/parenting/colorado-doula-and-assault-survivor-investigated-by-dhs-for-refusing-male-nurse-during-birth/

Can't women have an area of health care dedicated for them, and provided by other women?

I'm really wondering why this is considered so extreme, or why I am clearly such a horrible person for suggesting it? For me, having certain things "for women, by women" is a really important cornerstone of feminism.

Mammograms - until very recently - were only carried out by female providers. Because of the intimate manipulation of the breast required.

They've changed this recently, and I think (but am happy to be corrected) that this was because they didn't have enough women practitioners.

Which is a shame.

They also didn't, and afaik, still don't let any men into the waiting room - because women could be in a vulnerable state of undress there. A completely women only space.

Can't women have an area of health care dedicated for them, and provided by other women?

Yes, if there's male doctors on site as well. Maybe a separate wing for female only or something then?
Then people who prefer or have no preference still have the choice.
Not just men rid altogether.

@raindrops

The preference to have a man for an intimate procedure seems perverse. Do you think men should also be able to insist on getting women nurses if they want? What about specific types of women?

It doesn't need to be a separate wing - just female wards, female health providers for intimate care.

I think it would be nice.

I mean, when I was on the antenatal ward, with suspected pulmonary embolism, at 30wks pregnant (it wasn't thankfully) But it was a rally horrible time, and I had a male doctor see me, and a male put the heart monitor thing on me (all those plastic stick ons all over your chest.) I didn't mind that at all - but some women might. And in that sort of scenario - it's really bloody difficult to start asking for a woman to do it.

I don't know - I just feel that there is quite a lot about being a woman that is quite undignified - childbirth, smear tests etc. Sometimes, you may not want a man dealing with that, and you don't want to make a fuss, but just want someone who at least has the same body parts as you.

I don't think it's perverse, I just think people should have a choice.
I don't prefer as such, but I definitely don't care if I have a male or female doctor.
In fact my Dr is male and lovely, and if segregation was to go ahead, I wouldn't be able to see him anymore would I?

Of course you would? I think you're straw manning pretty hard here.

Preferring a particular doctor is different from insisting that only a man, any man, should examine your cervix.

Maniak - read the full thread before it got watered down. It was about segregation.
And how is it OK to say "don't let a man examine you unless you're into that sort of thing"
Or link to porn and say men are to be feared?
It's not OK.
That's the extremism that led to all this that people are objecting to.

My dad prefers female doctors. I doubt he'd go so far as to ask for one, but he would always go to one over a male doctor, all things being equal.

Does anyone deny that a man might go into midwifery because he has a sexual fetish of pregnant women/cervical examination? Does anyone think this is an impossible scenario?

Did you want to answer that, Roses?

Why men are to be feared by women was what brought me onto this thread - and women fear men for very good reason. It's not irrational, and it's not paranoid.

I was just thinking about choice. Preferring women I understand, having no preference is fine. But preferring men? Even if someone did prefer men, would it be necessary to indulge it? Like, I might prefer cute men with soft voices but so what? It's not legitimate. However, preferring women is in a separate category of choice, right? It's legitimate because of dignity/safety/social reasons?

And I'm not talking men you know and love, like husbands, sons, brothers and fathers (although god knows, plenty of women have experienced abuse at that hands of those) - I'm talking about men you don't know. Men that rock up to you in the delivery room, when you are vulnerable and demand - because by the account of the woman in the OP, this happened - demand to examine your cervix.

I'm not denying he might, of course it's a possibility. Like anything is.
You either choose to live your life in fear, curtail and restrict yourself, or risk assess and apply reason and see people as people.
Not avoid every single man and fear for the actions of a few.
It's no way to live.

I don't see female HCPs providing intimate care for women as "curtailing or restricting" personally.

I don't see female HCPs providing intimate care for women as "curtailing or restricting" personally.

Most of the time it probably wouldn't. But if you unexpectedly turn up at a small hospital where you have the choice of a male HCP or none and refuse to be examined then that certainly curtails/restricts your medical care. But obviously I totally agree it would be your right to refuse.

I'd hate "women only" hospital wings. I really liked my male nurse (gave me the best care) and I see the total separation of men and women as a really backwards step. In some times and places it may be necessary but I wouldn't particularly want it extended further than absolutely necessary.

To ask for a female birth environment is not living your life in fear. Ffs.

This thread is so depressing. That's good. I need to get off here.

Oh my christ
This thread
Unless you're into that sort of thing, of course
happily complied

...too right it's depressing.

I was just thinking about choice. Preferring women I understand, having no preference is fine. But preferring men? Even if someone did prefer men, would it be necessary to indulge it? Like, I might prefer cute men with soft voices but so what? It's not legitimate. However, preferring women is in a separate category of choice, right? It's legitimate because of dignity/safety/social reasons?

I hadn't considered that, Maniak, and I think you do make a good point. Essentially it just never crossed my mind that women would prefer men, which is was I was completely lambasted at the beginning of the thread, leading me to say "fine, have men i really don't care"

But maybe the ones crying out for men would the ones responsible for staffing shortages when the women who don't get men are forced to

There are some women who have suffered abuse at the hands of other women. Not saying it’s common but it does occur, but I guess you’d be happy throwing them under the bus?

Surely logistics could be examined? Like if a smaller hospitals doesn’t have adequate provision Doctors could be rotated in and out?

Isn't it @hazyjane?!
Dervel who the heck is throwing anyone under a bus when we've all said there should be women available too?!
I've even said why not have a female only wing then for all who want it?!
That way everybody has a choice.

What's a man's looks got to do with the price of fish?! Are we back to who we fancy or into that kind of thing again?!
It's nothing to do with looks.

I was addressing sakura’s and maniak’s assertion that a woman’s choice for Male healthcare providers need not and I quote “indulged” and that such choices “force” other women from being unable to secure a Female healthcare provider.

into that kind of thing

Sorry what is I’m in to because I’m an emergency situation, I would allow a male to examine me if no female was available? Do enlighten me as to what I would enjoy about that. I have crippling anxiety, I have a conditions that means I grow excess hair, I can’t shave because I’m prone to issues, lumps cysts etc that are worsened so please, tell me what I am enjoying my having my hairy arse and vulva directed at a male who is checking whatever is needed.