Birthing mother abused for refusing male nurse

[sakura184]

This kind of crap is why I opted for homebirths

pjmedia.com/parenting/colorado-doula-and-assault-survivor-investigated-by-dhs-for-refusing-male-nurse-during-birth/

@Aaarrgghhh

We've gone over jobs and funding so much it's giving me headache, re read the thread on this issue

Aarrrghhhh - "How do you plan to make all midwives only women"

I don't. I say that women have the right to ask for a female HCP, and to refuse treatment by a male one.

I'm not sure I understand your last point - are you trying to blame women wanting female intimate HCPs for some sort of future staff shortage?

Oh I see what you mean about ulterior motives. Sorry the thread is moving so fast. Not that I have them but that I say men do.

Yes I do, I'll repeat that. Men might go into gynecology with ulterior motives, like wanting to seek out a profession where they have a lot of power over women at their most vulnerable. Or maybe even something random like getting to see lots of women's vulvas and just enjoying that. As I said, I have no idea why men are there , and I don't want them there.

I read that some male ob/gyns don't believe the female body can deliver a baby without an episiotomy.
That's an ulterior motive. Inflicting a cut that many midwives regard as often unnecessary and one they try to avoid because natural tears heal a lot better than a slice. But male ob/gyns go out of their way to inflict this on women, and may do so universally for the women they "care" for.
The ulterior motive here is sadism

A better way of looking at it, I think, is that as we know some aspiring predators choose roles giving them access to victims, there's no reason to assume birth work roles are immune. Why would they be? And that both sexes can be predators, though it appears more common with males. I wouldnt be up for assuming no woman could ever choose midwifery or obstetrics (or indeed doula or LC) with suspect intentions though.

Do you deny it?

How are men stealing all thee jobs from women when these jobs are still short staffed? Where are all the women lining up to become midwifes, doctors etc.

Not a total lie. People can read. See for themselves.
I hope they can anyway.

@HorridHenrysNits

Yes I've said there's no doubt misogynistic women gravitate to fields where they can lord it over vulnerable women. This can only happen where there is a culture of misogyny that doesn't have proper checks and balances to control this behavior. They are, literally, handmaidens, doing the patriarchy's work. In a hospital culture that actually respected women they wouldn't last five minutes.

At any rate this has nothing to do with women's right to have female staff involved in their care

I also want to make a comment on the cascade of intervention.
Women are saying they are having unwanted epidurals forced upon them in hospital. Epidural stops you from moving and many midwives say that different women need different positions for pushing the baby out. ( for me DD came out when I was lying on my side, and with DS he came out when i was standing up). Preventing a woman from moving about as she needs to with an epidural she didn't even want, is an example of the cascade of intervention that takes place in hospitals

As a matter of interest what percentage of midwives in the UK are male?

(and yes I've checked)

I don't know RedToothbrush, but it would be interesting to see how many of that percentage make it to positions of seniority over women.
I used to date a male nurse. He said that gone were the days that a matron or sister or whatever the female head nurse was called would inevitably run the ward. He said these days male nurses quickly became "charge nurses" and had seniority over a lot of other nurses.
Wow I thought. When men enter any traditionally female profession they quickly take over the lead and head roles ,at the expense of women of course

The answer is 0.43%

According to the Nursing and Midwifery Council, out of 43,168 registered midwives in the UK at the end of March 2017, some 188 were men.

So quite honestly, given the number is so small I do not see why any regards it as problematic.

As long as a woman can refuse if she wants then it's not an issue.

Anyone would think there were thousands...

@RedToothBrush

I have to be honest I was shocked when I heard male midwives exist and I thought oh god is this another battle women have in their hands because these men are going to claim it's sexist if women don't want them. The numbers are still small and obviously I personally regard that as a good thing. It's nice also to see more and more women are going into medicine as consultants/

But like ZebrasAreBras has helped me to point out, no matter what, women always have the right to insist on female only care.

But like ZebrasAreBras has helped me to point out, no matter what, women always have the right to insist on female only care.

I've never argued they shouldn't. Quite the opposite.

No one said women should not be able to have female only care.

The only thing people pointed out is that if you show up unexpectedly at a small hospital with only one or two doctors present, it's possible you might not have a female doctor there - even with more doctors now being women. Same as if you want a female or male dentist, you can't just assume every office has one of each.

@RedToothBrush

No you haven't but loads of others have. The article may be on a dodgy website but there are loads of similar stories, not hard at all to find. There are hashtags you can follow etc to read women's stories. I'm just suggesting this for the people who think it's not possible that a woman would be abused by hospital staff for refusing male examinations. I mean really that's just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to the treatment of women.
I'm glad the thread has become more sane and it's nice you're still here.

I'm not sure who on the thread has said women shouldn't have a right to female care.

@Goosefoot

It's not about staffing issues I'm sorry. And if it is partly to do with that it must be regarded as a legitimate problem that need solving.

The way people have come on here arguing that women shouldn't request a female midwife or consultant says a lot. Calling women who prefer a woman "paranoid". Belittling the idea that women don't want a man. You can read it all , it's just below

@hazeyjane

It's just below. I was called all kinds of names , like paranoid, and "what kind of way is that to live" just because I don't want men: it's literally just below on the thread

"there's no easy way to say this but that is an utterly, paranoid way to live and not healthy

Can you imagine a poor woman in labour being told this was why she had to have a man instead of a female midwife that she wanted

I'm not sure who on the thread has said women shouldn't have a right to female care.

Nobody has, Hazyjane.

No. No one has said that women should not request female care providers if they want to.

A few people have said they don't feel that way, or they don't personally identify with that feeling, or find it weird. Some have said having a non-prefered sex carer would be better than no carer.

But no one has said that it shouldn't happen. And as far as it goes, it's normal practice when its at all possible.

The woman in the original article ran into trouble because she had specific needs, and was at a very small hospital with only one or two doctors, and had not bothered to make any contact ahead of time to make sure they could accommodate her.

One of the reasons to do prenatal care is not just for the checks themselves, but to meet the doctors and midwives and have your needs assessed. One thing that might come up is that a particular hospital has limited staff, and maybe a different one would be a better choice for a mother with specific needs.

Why call women paranoid and say living in fear is no way to live. You're trying to shame me into accepting a man .
I don't even need to justify why I don't want one near me in birth

It's just below. I was called all kinds of names , like paranoid, and "what kind of way is that to live" just because I don't want men: it's literally just below on the thread
and "what kind of way is that to live" just because I don't want men: it's literally just below on the thread

No. You are re-writing.
You said you wanted no men in the profession, they had ulterior motives to be there, and shouldn't be around women at all, birth is primal.

I and someone else said to say women should all be separated from men as they are all perceived to be a danger is no way to live and not healthy.
NOT I repeat NOT about your right to have a female, you should always have that right. Nobody has said otherwise.

"there's no easy way to say this but that is an utterly, paranoid way to live and not healthy

Nice compassionate way to respond if a vulnerable woman is in labour and doesn't want a man near her.

Why even mention paranoia and how you think women should be living their lives? I mean just why?