Birthing mother abused for refusing male nurse

[sakura184]

This kind of crap is why I opted for homebirths

pjmedia.com/parenting/colorado-doula-and-assault-survivor-investigated-by-dhs-for-refusing-male-nurse-during-birth/

But if you don't -like I said, go ahead. Don't be trying to take away women's rights to ask for a female though, and don't be trying to guilt or shame us for doing so
NOBODY has said that. I haven't and Grammar hasn't.
We've repeatedly said you should always be able to choose.
Can't you see by segregating you are taking away choice from other women?
The choice should always be there.

FFS - I am not about centering men. That is totally rubbish. Except at work. Where I teach boys. Only boys. It is just completely unacceptable to me to treat all men as if they are a threat. They are not.
Just as I would not deny a woman's negative experience I don't expect others to deny my positive. Choice and being listened to are the important things here. Why can't my choice be respected too?

I think that women giving birth would be preferably cared for by other women - but that's just my opinion. I wouldn't stop you seeking out a male midwife if you think they'd be somehow better at it?

You're not getting it, though - how can you seek out a male midwife if you're starting from the premise that no men are allowed to be there with the women?

"There is no such thing as a male or female career by the way."

Errr.. there are male and female HCPs - that is a fact. Just a women can ask for a female to do a smear, so can men ask for another man to do a prostate exam on them, because it's an extremely intimate procedure.

I don't see any feminists fighting to get in on the prostate exams....

@GrammarTeacher
I'm not taking away your choice! I've said a zillion time that women who want men can have them and it seems like men are queuing up to get into this field . Ain't no shortage. It's women we need.

You're not getting it, though - how can you seek out a male midwife if you're starting from the premise that no men are allowed to be there with the women?

You know what? I couldn't give a shiny shit about the rights of men to give women intimate health treatment during birth. Men have no rights to demand to examine a woman's cervix during birth - which is what happened to the woman in the OP.

Why do you seem so keen for men to intimately treat women??

@ZebrasAreBras I didn't have to seek him out. He appeared. With tea and toast. At the perfect moment (after I'd been nil by mouth all day in case they could squeeze in my ELCS after my checks). The teams in all my medical interventions over the years have been mixed sex. Except for a lumpectomy on my face done by a plastic surgeon. That was all male and felt a hell of a lot more intimate than anything else.
Anyway, the only person advocating the removal of choice is the OP. Not me. But I'm just not singing from the official hymn sheet so there we go.

No the OP is not - see the post above.

Why do you seem so keen for men to intimately treat women??

I'm NOT
I keep saying we should have the right to choose. You don''t seem to want other women to have the choice though.
We should as well

. IME, the majority of women agree that they would rather have a female tbh. But if you don't -like I said, go ahead. Don't be trying to take away women's rights to ask for a female though, and don't be trying to guilt or shame us for doing so.

IME most women I know couldn’t give two shits if it’s a male or female carer; if they do, they err towards men, different experiences, different preferences. As I say - just my experience.

I feel like I am being shamed for wanting male medics however on this thread. ‘If you want to accept...’ and ‘go ahead’ is so very condescending. I don’t accept male medics - for me, I welcome them and prefer them. And I say this as a previous target of sexual assault.

No the OP is not - see the post above

OP isn't advocating the removal of choice? Eh? Sorry, but have you actually read the thread?

I've said a zillion time that women who want men can have them and it seems like men are queuing up to get into this field . Ain't no shortage. It's women we need

You've changed what you said originally. Presumably because people disagreed.
It's ON the thread that they shouldn't be there at all and they're taking away jobs from women and they all have motives.
How can we have choice if you got your way and the choice was taken away?

Roses - from the OP above:

I'm not taking away your choice! I've said a zillion time that women who want men can have them

The OP thinks men should not be allowed to be OB/GYNs, not to mention midwives, or presumably nursed in maternity care.

I assume this is like she doesn't think taxes from women should go toward paying the salaries of men in the military.

So really not to do with medical stuff in the end, more a kind a sex based version of racial separatism.

Nurse isn't a female career. Doctor isn't a male one. Which is what I clearly meant.
This is why so many people are dismissive of this board. You don't debate. Sakura has changed her mind repeatedly on what this is about and is now claiming she didn't say men shouldn't do it all, which she did several times.
I know I have a different attitude to my body than a lot of people. I don't particularly see the organs themselves as intimate. It's the actions. So, a medical procedure is a medical procedure is a medical procedure. You could argue that's unhealthy, I would say it's pragmatic.
But I will not accept this extremist nonsense that men are evil and must have a nefarious agenda if they go into Ob/Gyn care. If you go round acting like this is true you are a contributory factor to unkind masculinity identified in the excellent book Boys Don't Try.

If you go round acting like this is true you are a contributory factor to unkind masculinity identified in the excellent book Boys Don't Try.

Yes, it's always feminism's fault. Or, failing that, a woman's fault.

Oh no those poor men.

No. This is partly your fault as a person. And this form of feminism. Your way isn't the only way to foreground women you know.

Roses - from the OP above: I'm not taking away your choice! I've said a zillion time that women who want men can have them

Zebra - seriously - read the thread.

No, everyone has always agreed that women should be able to choose.

@Maniak actually yes! The current system is bad for men AND women. That's surely not difficult to grasp. Or is it?
I thought when I started this discussion that it could be a discussion. I thought when the right wing nut jobs complained about feminists being separatists they were joking.
I can want better for my son and my daughter and I do.

I guess we should all be thankful we've not been replaced by Stepford wives robots, or been enslaved as handmaids, eh?

This thread is about a victim of sexual assault not allowing a male midwife to examine her cervix - and then being treated appallingly.

Women here have been basically told they're ridiculous for not wanting a male midwife - several times. And then had it turned on them that they're somehow being denied treatment by male HCPs, as if that's a thing.

But the bottom line is - women have the right to say no. But we're frequently not listened to when we say no.

No, everyone has always agreed that women should be able to choose

Not OP. She said they shouldn't be there at all. It's literally on the thread.

No. This is partly your fault as a person. And this form of feminism. Your way isn't the only way to foreground women you know

As the great Maya A said - When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.

But the bottom line is - women have the right to say no

And I've never disagreed with that.