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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Birthing mother abused for refusing male nurse

999 replies

sakura184 · 12/07/2019 01:28

This kind of crap is why I opted for homebirths

pjmedia.com/parenting/colorado-doula-and-assault-survivor-investigated-by-dhs-for-refusing-male-nurse-during-birth/

OP posts:
sakura184 · 15/07/2019 13:34

Lol coming on a feminist forum and accusing women of man hating Hmm

OP posts:
Aaarrgghhh · 15/07/2019 13:38

What on earth? I’m sorry, I didn’t realise that to qualify as a feminist I’d have to hate all men, even those who have done nothing wrong. I think people like yourself don’t help when you keep men in these boxes from your own delusion.

sakura184 · 15/07/2019 13:44

It's fine for you to think I'm talking total bollocks. I see people talking bollocks online all the time. I just ignore them though, Its best not to engage

OP posts:
Aaarrgghhh · 15/07/2019 13:46

Would you be happy if I called your partner a rapist? I’m sure the mere sight of a vagina will take all his control away. Because that is what you are doing to any male midwives or doctors etc.

Justhadathought · 15/07/2019 13:50

Would you be unhappy to be treated by a male doctor/nurse just in case they're evil?

I'd suggest most women would want for a female nurse when it comes to 'intimate' procedures.

sakura184 · 15/07/2019 13:56

No Aargh, in saying you don't know which ones are rapists and which aren't, you don't know which ones are porn watchers and which aren't. And then some actually do go on to abuse women, in sheer arrogance

What do you think the whole bathroom debate is actually all about ?

OP posts:
hazeyjane · 15/07/2019 13:56

Ignore me
I should, I know I really really should, but I just can't look away, it's like watching someone sawing the branch off a tree that they are perched on the end of.

I don't want a mundane mansplainy anti woman perspective- those are available everywhere
This seems to be everybody else's opinion, what deluded, women hating Dillard we must all be.

Wrt my male gynaecologist professor and porn, unless he was really turned on by collections of rampantly multiplying cells and tumours the size of grapefruits, he was probably in the wrong profession.

I will head over to George's thread, but I won't leave this one despite your pleas to keep it within the rigid parameters of your discourse. Debate, conversation and threads on Mumsnet don't work that way.

sakura184 · 15/07/2019 13:57

Also since when did "I'm alright Jack" ever become a legit argument?

Great for you that you're fine with men. What does that have to do with us?

OP posts:
hazeyjane · 15/07/2019 13:57

Dullard...not Dillard!

sakura184 · 15/07/2019 13:59

Omg I get it.
Aaaargh is trying to get me to "admit" that my female perspective of wanting a female brith attendant is wrong. Just simply wrong.

OP posts:
sakura184 · 15/07/2019 14:01

@hazeyjane

There is no debate if I'm not here though. It would just be men are great, hospitals are great. The End.

OP posts:
Justhadathought · 15/07/2019 14:02

What does this mean? Surely for any woman the baby’s health is important

I thought what it meant was fairly clear.

Of course all women want a healthy baby. That does not really need to be stated. But the birthing experience is not just a medical procedure; & when it goes 'well' it is not necessarily a medical procedure at all.

There are many women who have had really profound and positively powerful birthing experiences - which were real high points/peak moments in their lives. Which gave them a real feeling of confidence in themselves and in their female bodies - leading to heightened or deepened sexual response, as one example.

A woman centred birth experience recognises that confident women can make for more confident mothers too. Obviously if you come out of the birth experience intact; feeling empowered and strong in your body and your role - then that can only be a good thing.

Birthing, like dying, is a major life experience; and i'd suggest that most of us, if honest, would see the ideal death scenario as being: well anticipated, most likely in the home environment, and surrounded by those closest and most intimate, in which the process is sensitively managed and as un-traumatic as possible. Obviously not everyone gets to die, or to birth, in such ideal circumstances, though.

RosesAndRaindrops · 15/07/2019 14:03

Aaaargh is trying to get me to "admit" that my female perspective of wanting a female brith attendant is wrong. Just simply wrong

Eh? No, people have said the opposite
(I have anyway, that of course there's nothing wrong with wanting a female birth attendant)
What you're doing though, there's more to it.

GrammarTeacher · 15/07/2019 14:08

@Justhadathought - nope I genuinely don't care about the sex of someone examining me. I care about their training and qualifications because that is what is relevant to the situation. It's not a difficult concept.

Aaarrgghhh · 15/07/2019 14:09

Aaaargh is trying to get me to "admit" that my female perspective of wanting a female brith attendant is wrong. Just simply wrong.

Yet, I haven’t said that.. what I have said is your ideology of only women in the profession is ridiculous and helps no one. You accuse any male in the profession of being a potential rapist addicted to porn. By your logic your partner is a potential rapist purely because he is a man. You can choose a female if you like but if one isn’t available? What then.. just leave mature to happen even if it’s going wrong? That goes against their belief surely? They are there to save not leave people to die.

GrammarTeacher · 15/07/2019 14:10

@sakura184 you are talking bollocks. You are the one asserting that to be feminist we must be like you.
Your life must be exhausting if you fear every man in the way you imply in this thread. Most people aren't evil. They aren't nice either. Most people are self-involved.

sakura184 · 15/07/2019 14:11

"There's more to it" 😂

That pesky feminist analysis. nobody knows why some people ( those ones formerly known as women) experience certain things while other people don't. It's all random. Just a mystery.

OP posts:
sakura184 · 15/07/2019 14:12

@GrammarTeacher

What do you think the bathroom debate on mumsnet is all about? Confused
Off you go onto the trans threads and tell all the women there that they are stereotyping men, for not wanting men in the women's toilets.
Or is this just a pile on reserved for here?

OP posts:
hazeyjane · 15/07/2019 14:14

There is no debate if I'm not here though. It would just be men are great, hospitals are great. The End.

I think you may have proved that you haven't really been listening to what other posters are actually saying. You speak with the utter conviction of someone who is unwilling to hear other's opinions or experiences.

Justhadathought · 15/07/2019 14:15

nope I genuinely don't care about the sex of someone examining me

That's fine, and is obviously that is your prerogative. But other women feel differently...

Aaarrgghhh · 15/07/2019 14:16

You can’t see the difference between a man saving a life or simply ensuring a safe delivery, and any random in the street? If there is no female on staff one can not be magically called in would you seriously refuse a male? Why? Why risk yourself?

RosesAndRaindrops · 15/07/2019 14:16

Bloody hell, it's another trans debate now ffs lol
No this "pile on" isn't reserved just for here, there was one the other day with a very unreasonable sounding OP. Just like here
I honestly don't get why nobody can disagree with anyone on this board "because I'm a woman" "solidarity" type thing
If you come across as talking bollocks or hating on an entire group of people why can't people call it out?

sakura184 · 15/07/2019 14:17

@Justhadathought

Thank you, I love your posts. There is just no need for the casual misogyny I've heard about in hospitals, spoiling things for women.

It's like we can't even have our moment, even in birth

OP posts:
GrammarTeacher · 15/07/2019 14:18

I have commented on that. The toilet debate is nonsense. Nothing. Let me repeat nothing stops a man who wants to attack women from doing so. The idea that they'd dress as a woman when they're already doing it dressed as men is ludicrous.
There are issues around transgender issues and 'fairness' in competitive sport but the rest of the argument is quite frankly ridiculous.
Not that trans is even relevant to your original point particularly. It's mad. There are issues in pre and post natal care but they are not men/women ones.
The worst care I had was from a bank midwife. She is probably responsible for my failure to progress. She was definitely responsible for the fact that only the consultant anaesthetist could get a line in. I have never been more thrilled to see a man in my life!
I don't know how you have the energy to live this much in fear. Genuinely.

Justhadathought · 15/07/2019 14:19

Off you go onto the trans threads and tell all the women there that they are stereotyping men, for not wanting men in the women's toilets. Or is this just a pile on reserved for here?

I was thinking that too......for me the issues are very similar.

I haven't read through this tread in any detail at all - but the general tone seems to be very angry. The intensity of the birthing experience and motherhood in general really stirs the emotions.

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