Birthing mother abused for refusing male nurse

[sakura184]

This kind of crap is why I opted for homebirths

pjmedia.com/parenting/colorado-doula-and-assault-survivor-investigated-by-dhs-for-refusing-male-nurse-during-birth/

@HorridHenrysNits

Of course I think denial of epidural is bad! It's just as much about trying to control women as forced epidural

I know for a fact I wouldn't have been able to go without an epidural in hospital because a hospital would've stressed me out so the pain would've been just an abomination. It was an abomination anyway but I coped, just about, because the environment was incredibly relaxing

sakura184 Oh give over. You have stated multiple times now that you want no men in the profession at all and how any man in the profession is taking a job from a woman who’d don’t go and actually train, because less trained staff is exactly what we need..

My trauma with DS1 was related to the midwife not listening to me. I was being moved from mw-led to consultant-led during labour as my BP skyrocketed. On the trolley, in the corridor, I began to push. Not chose to, my body did it involuntarily. She told me to stop being silly, I was hours away from delivery. Insisted I could not be ready to deliver, in the corridor: no checks. So I forced my body to suppress it.
Got to the delivery room to find I actually was ready to deliver, but not only that - that DS1 was distressed (I was later told this was very likely due to me suppressing my pushing). Hit the big red button, room filled with medics, episiotomy and ventouse, and luckily DS1 was born perfectly fine.

Luckily, with fast labour already on my notes (four hours from first contraction to delivery for DS1), I was taken a lot more seriously when DS2s labour began (this was also a big factor in me choosing a home birth for him - was paranoid I'd give birth on the side of the road!). Just goes to show that all midwives (and doctors) need to listen to their patients, not provide care-by-numbers.

My middle sister - with my fast-labours already in the past by then - was taken much more seriously as she could point to 'family history of fast labour'. Hers were the same, 4hrs and hrs. Youngest sister of course, had the worlds slowest labours. Just to be awkward

You seem to only hear, or be arsed to listen to, the experiences you want to hear, and that fit in with your very restricted view of childbirth and obstetric care.

Midwives who voice objections to the cascade of intervention and medicalization of birth are so important to this debate because women just are not taken seriously on face value. So for all the women who say my hospital birth was fine there are so many more who say theirs wasn't and they would really like to be heard.
But it does go deeper because there is a long tradition of doctor knows best and telling women what's good for them and their babies, and as we know, the woman's sense that the doctor is wrong is overlooked and it has only really been since midwives have begun describing what they see as an over reliance on medical procedures that the midwives personally deem unnecessary, that the debate has been able to move forward.

@BeyondDangerousTshirts

That's absolutely what this is about .And the utter infantilization of you with the phrase "don't be silly", something you might say to a child.
We discussed misogynistic midwives below. Utter handmaidens. What a betrayal

@hazeyjane

Yes I just zone out the porn wall, the woke stasi and, in this case, hospitals and male doctors are amazing.
Because that stuff is everywhere I look

Ah, do you know what. Crack on. This is not the way to hold an adult discussion. I feel bloody stupid for contributing personal and painful memories that can be dismissed as so much blah.

One of my hospital births was not fine because I was denied appropriate and desired medicalisation. It was a very traumatic experience.

I feel bloody stupid for contributing personal and painful memories that can be dismissed as so much blah.

Hazey don't. It's always about the onlookers.

I think your contributions over the years about how an ELCS isnt always the right thing and isnt an 'easy solution' have been incredibly value.

You seem to only hear, or be arsed to listen to, the experiences you want to hear, and that fit in with your very restricted view of childbirth and obstetric care.

Isn't that the truth. And the fangirling, prioritising something she read over people's actual experiences here... Jeez Louise. I loathe dogma in all its forms.

@BeyondDangerousTshirts

That's why it's so important to gain a rapport .with a midwife during pregnancy and if you don't like her or there's a personality class you should get a different one

Can I just say nobody is stopping anyone starting a thread about their amazing hospital births, but because this thread is about birth trauma stories of "well my hospital birth was great" might not be completely helpful to women who find the thread because they wanted to put a name to their experience

That's why it's so important to gain a rapport with a midwife during pregnancy and if you don't like her or there's a personality class you should get a different one

I didn't want a midwife I would build a rapport with. I can't recall if I saw the same midwife at each of my ante - natal appointments. It didn't matter. I wanted a hospital birth with trained professionals doing their job.

I note that you have no comments on the unnecessary deaths caused by midwives failing to seek medical intervention in time?

amp.theguardian.com/society/2017/aug/12/midwives-to-stop-using-term-normal-birth

Thankyou RedToothBrush - I always worry when posting about electives, because I know that for some women they are very healing, and my experience was the very opposite! I would never want to shut down conversation over choosing what birth someone aims for, choice and a voice in any birth is so important. I am touched that you remember my posts.

I was going to huff off. But I am a grown up and this thread has some interesting and emotional stuff in between the blind dogma and sticking of fingers in ears and going la la la.

Can I also say I would totally be on board with a woman who wanted a c section without any medical reason for having one: maybe she's terrified of vaginal birth for reasons known only to her. Maybe for her the potential risks of c section are worth taking so she doesn't have to experience labour pains. I think these women should be taken seriously too and if possible be catered for: I mean now the technology is here at the very least it should be serving women

Cos I'm really struggling to see it as a anything but a soapbox about how wonderful home birth is and how uneducated women are who don't have them, don't want them or can't have them

Because you are struggling...does it really mean that other women cannot talk about their experiences of positive and natural home birth; and voice views, observations & opinions on other quite different birth experiences, though?

This thread is, specifically, for women who want to avoid an unnecessarily overly medicalized birth, and who are frightened of hospitals and who don't want men (or horrible midwives) treating them. It is about birth trauma stemming from being treated like a piece of meat by hospital staff.
It's one thing to really need a medicalized birth, and it's quite another to have one that could have been avoided. A good example of this is the women who talk about how they were pressured into or even forced into having an epidural in hospital.
The women who talk about birth trauma tend to say it happened in hospital and they would do anything to avoid another hospital birth: that they will fight for a homebirth.

Women who don't want homebirths? This thread isn't for you. If you feel you're being pressured into a homebirth by your health authority then make a thread about that.
Women who had a fab, faultless hospital birth? Again, this thread isn't really for you.

This thread is, specifically, for women who want to avoid an unnecessarily overly medicalized birth, and who are frightened of hospitals and who don't want men (or horrible midwives) treating them. It is about birth trauma stemming from being treated like a piece of meat by hospital staff

Is it ? When was that decided and by whom?

I also want to say that any woman who goes for a homebirth knows that it might go tits up and end up in hospital C section. We know this. But we'll have that c section knowing it definitely couldn't have been avoided and it was an absolute last resort. That's what homebirth means to me, anyway. That I gave myself the best crack at a non medicalized birth.

Women who had a fab, faultless hospital birth? Again, this thread isn't really for you

Oh bore off with this. You have been chopping and changing what this thread is about every time you get challenged on your many unsubstantiated and biased posts.

You weren't pleased you didn't get universal support for the woman in the opening post so you decided it was about something else.

You weren't pleased you were challenged on the nonsense you were posting about male gynaecologists so you decided it was about something else.

You weren't pleased you were challenged on your adoration of Ina May Gaskin so you've changed it again.

It was decided that the point of this thread was birth trauma from hospitals and male interference when I started the thread

Wow you've certainly been studying this thread in great detail Lass. Glad I've given you something to read

I mean really that's the least we can expect from a feminist isn't it. Giving us something to read