Supporting our lesbian sisters THREAD EDITED BY MNHQ AT OP'S REQUEST

[Muststopfaffing]

In response to this thread:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/3621239-Being-a-homosexual-female-in-a-community-of-queer-people-transbians-and-penis-inclusionary-lesbians

I want to create a new thread to invite our lesbian sisters to tell non lesbian women how we can help support them and be allies to them through the current struggle and abuse from within their own community. I don’t have anything specific in mind and would love it to be led by those that need support, in whatever form that may be.

It should go without saying (but just in case anyone is tempted to do otherwise) that this is support for biological women who are same sex attracted and nothing else.

I too would like to know what more we can do to help.
Currently all I have managed to do is retweet stuff supportive of lesbians, and reports of the abuse they are facing, to my meagre amount of followers. There must be more we can do.

Thanks for this @Muststopfaffing, it's a difficult time to be a lesbian. It feels like we had a few years of semi-acceptance, where we got married and were able to talk openly about our relationships, only to be shoved back into the cupboard of shame, but this time by men and their woke allies, who we're now apparently oppressing.

So how to support us? This is tricky, but I think lesbian erasure is the real danger we're facing, which is twofold, as I see it: 1) the takeover of the word "lesbian" by identity cultists, which means that women in straight relationship and men feel they can claim to be lesbians and 2) the use of "queer" to describe women in relationships with women.

So I think that challenging this whenever it pops up would be a great help, as most well-meaning people don't realise the impact this so-called "inclusive language" has on lesbians, whose have had a pretty tough time historically, and don't need more shit to deal with and certainly not to be told to "examine our genital fetish".

Anyway, thanks for the solidarity, it does warm my heart. I have no children and have never wanted any, so I'm not sure how Mumsnet has become my go-to place for intelligent, reasoned feminist debate, but I'm very happy that I found it!

Place-marking so I can hear ways to be a useful ally to my lesbians sisters.

Thank you. If you can be in London on the morning of 5 July, please come & help us with this. We really need as many people as possible.
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/3621123-Stonewall-protest-July-5th

I posted it on the original thread but nobody commented so I assume it got lost among the other posts.

Unfortunately I’m at work on Friday and a few hours from London. I’ll be cheering everyone on from my desk though!

Cheers, Muststop!

Marking my place, very keen to support my lesbian sisters in any way I can x

I'll be there on 5th.

Thanks Pencils

Another ally here.

I too wonder what I can do. I came across Amy Dyess' twitter feed that criticised 'political lesbianism' for, effectively, doing the same as 'trans-lesbianism', ie appropriating the experience. Basically she seemed to be saying, you cannot speak 'as' (but also 'for'?) if you aren't one.

Which is fair enough, but then what can we do?

I’d like to help, too. I feel uncomfortable about rocking up at Pride with banners- I don’t feel it’s my place. Can we wait outside with wine and say, fuck the G and the T, you belong with us?

To the people who are asking what you can do - if you CAN stand with us on Friday 5th in London then do. Please.

I frankly don’t care whether you think it’s your place. We need your help & that’s where we need it.

Empress, I think I'm working on the 5th. I shall check.

Thanks Floral

Empress I wish I could stand with you on the 5th (I’m on the other side of the world though). There in spirit 👊

Is it worth maybe starting a thread here or on aibu inviting people to join? Sometimes people skim-read and miss things on threads (myself included!).

Are gay men involved, I know some are supportive, Simon Fanshawe for example.

Great idea. Very happy to give whatever support I can to my lesbian sisters.

Genderrebel thanks for that input, I will take it on board and speak up on this

I think apart from on Twitter (which only represents only the tiniest segment of the population), everyone agrees that a lesbian is (a) female and (b) attracted only to females. I’ve discussed with people who are not online much, and they have no idea this is even going on.

I stand with you.

Thanks, Josepheen and 2Bthat.

I’ll give the thread a bump.

Its really telling to me how badly even high profile lesbians like Joanna Cherry and Martina Navratilova are treated by official LBTQ organisations.

Maybe the L needs to set up its own organisation (I know there are unofficial ones). Be not afraid - we will prevail 💚💜

Out on a limb here, but I hate the word ‘Allies’; probably because of TRA allies that are required to be unthinking in their total support. It
‘others’ people and places them and their needs/rights second. As an ally you cannot disagree.

If someone is correct and their argument cogent then I will support them. I am not their ally, I just think they are right and deserving of support in that matter. If I think they are wrong, I will disagree with them.

I think Lesbians are being treated disgracefully by the organisation that purports to support them but unfortunately cannot make it to London.

I bought a Lesbian female homosexual t shirt to add to my ever expanding GC collection of tops. I wanted to wear it to encourage conversation around the subject but have felt put off wearing it by someone who said I shouldn’t wear it if I’m not a lesbian as it’s not my battle and a bit insulting to actual lesbians.

I’d love to know what any ‘actual lesbians’ on here actually think?!

I have donated to "Get the L Out" as a "straight ally"

www.gettheloutuk.com/

I do find the "trans ally" thing creepy but that's because of how they do the "ally" thing. Also the suspect characters in the Mumsnet "Allies and Boundaries" thread about some TW who purport to be allies to women.

I want to support lesbians as in wanting to support a just feminist cause, not because I have some psychological need for approval by lesbians or because I want to "earn" the right to be accepted into "lesbian spaces" or gaslight lesbians into feeling they are indebted to me.

If I was told, "You mean well but that's actually not really helping, this would be a better way to help instead" then I'd take notice. However, I can't imagine lesbians pulling that TRA-type emotional blackmail shit, "If you were a true ally you'd . . ." (usually a demand for money or goods or to STFU) but if they did I'd tell them to F*ck Off!

Maybe it will vary from place to place whether lesbians want support at Pride events? Pride can't legitimately object, seeing as they are happy to welcome anyone who supports trans people, although I don't suppose that will stop them having a go. There are lesbians involved with Resisters groups so word will get out that way too about what sort of support would help in different places.

I am f@ckin FURIOUS about what is being done to lesbians BTW!!

I’d love to know what any ‘actual lesbians’ on here actually think?!

This actual lesbian thinks we need all the bloody help we can get!!!!

Empress I would love to be there but not feasible (would cost hundreds to get a train from MCR to arrive on time).

I’ll be cheering you on from a distance (and please let this thread know about any future stuff happening in other regions?)