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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

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Original poster

Why are so many women ok with males taking their spaces?

187 replies

Throckmorton · 14/06/2019 20:56

I don't get it. Why are so many women falling over themselves to be ok with males taking women's places in sport, in awards (working mum of the year FFS!), all over the shop? All over the NSPCC stuff for eg, it's women on twitter posting how transphobic every one is. I guess what I'm saying is what is making turkeys vote for Christmas? If I see one more TWAW/cis-women-are-transphobic meme on Facebook from otherwise intelligent women I'm going to bloody scream.

OP posts:
VickyEadie · 14/06/2019 21:25

Oh, wokey cokey cokey...

Gaslighting. It's insidious and people fall for it easily.

truthisarevolutionaryact · 14/06/2019 21:28

Gaslighting and grooming - coercive control writ large.

BertrandRussell · 14/06/2019 21:29

Coercive control.

Redshoeblueshoe · 14/06/2019 21:30

All of the above

NoCureForLove · 14/06/2019 21:30

Excellent question.
Also, why are so many men ok with men taking women's spaces???

callmekalinda · 14/06/2019 21:36

Cool girls

AlwaysTawnyOwl · 14/06/2019 21:38

I find it puzzling too. I blame female socialisation - girls pick up the message that it’s ‘not nice’ to fight for their rights.

Original poster
Throckmorton · 14/06/2019 21:39

Thanks - so i guess my next question is where are they all hanging out that they've had time to be gaslighed (gaslit?) about this? Is it that some places on social media are just churning this shite out and it's all they see?

And yes indeed to why men aren't ok with it. I just meant that it's women losing their own spaces so you'd think they would be more aware of/upset by it.

OP posts:
OunceOfFlounce · 14/06/2019 21:40

I think were all raised in a patriarchy and internalise misogyny.

Doyoumind · 14/06/2019 21:41

I'm not convinced there are many who are ok with the sports thing, actually.

The younger ones are naive and woke about the other stuff.

A lot will have been told how disgusting and hateful those who question what's going on are: gaslighting, as above.

JackyHolyoake · 14/06/2019 21:44

The only women who do this are younger than 25 - 30 years mostly and are still seeking the approval of males to validate their existence.

Original poster
Throckmorton · 14/06/2019 21:45

God it's depressing isn't it. So, on the grounds that many of us are too scared/not in a position to state our thoughts on this openly, is it still worth making little steps and hints, and if so, any ideas? My only strategy at the moment is to repeat when pushed that gender is a load of social conditioning, so I don't buy into any of it.

OP posts:
Original poster
Throckmorton · 14/06/2019 21:47

Has anyone else noticed that it's most prevalent from non-straight women? Well, the ones I know that describe themselves as pansexual that is....

OP posts:
GrinitchSpinach · 14/06/2019 21:47

Stockholm Syndrome.

HopeClearwater · 14/06/2019 22:04

We are socialised that way. We get angry about it, we are immediately criticised for being unreasonable and hysterical.

Original poster
Throckmorton · 14/06/2019 22:26

I'm starting to think that being outspoken and angry is the only way forward. And offline I'm shit at that :(

OP posts:
NoCureForLove · 14/06/2019 22:31

I agree op. I thought a lot of battles were over compared to when I was young and angry and outspoken. I think I have to get back to all that when I see the amount of crazy woman hating shit that's going on. I feel not to be outspoken is to go along with terrible things by default.

Original poster
Throckmorton · 14/06/2019 22:37

Does anyone else worry about admitting your thoughts to friends in real life, in case they all decide you're a transphobe and hate you? Anyone got any good ideas for ways to broach the subject? God I sound like such a sodding wuss

OP posts:
Voice0fReason · 14/06/2019 22:53

It's a good question.

Socialisation to be kind, fear of being seen as bigoted or discriminatory.

In reality I think most women are definitely not ok with any of it. All of the women I have spoken to in real life are very much not ok with it. In public they might not be confident enough to speak up.

JoyceJeffries · 14/06/2019 23:01

Just a bit thick 🤷‍♀️

Singlesexlulu · 14/06/2019 23:01

I like Grinitch’s take, its Stockholm Syndrome.

Juells · 14/06/2019 23:09

Does anyone else worry about admitting your thoughts to friends in real life, in case they all decide you're a transphobe and hate you?

There's only one of my friends who doesn't agree with me on the subject, but on the other hand she doesn't respond at all, or argue about it, just ignores posts that she obviously thinks are unkind. Apart from that every one of my friends is GC, and shocked that self-ID was introduced here (Ireland) without anyone noticing it happening.

Lysistra65 · 14/06/2019 23:10

I am not ok with it. I don't want my little ones being told that women can have penises. Its NOT SAFE to confuse kids like this. And I don't want young girls to have to accept males into places where they are taking their clothes off or sleeping.. And I don't want to be called a terf by some trendy twat because I believe in biology and want single sex safe spaces for women. And I hate to see lesbians being chucked off Pride marches for being same SEX attracted & not wanting to have sex with blokes who imagine they are 'lesbians' And boys who like frocks or dolls or pink being made to think they are 'in the wrong body' or girls who hate bloody Barbie & climb trees like I did being told they can change 'gender'. Its so wrong

RedToothBrush · 15/06/2019 00:02

Does anyone else worry about admitting your thoughts to friends in real life, in case they all decide you're a transphobe and hate you?

If they hate you cos you have different views on some subjects they were never a friend in the first place.

Friendship is about listening to and respecting someone. If you can talk about why it bothers you in a coherent fashion, even if they disagree they should respect you. They know you are good person.

Tbh I'm past caring if people are bothered over my opinions over it. It's affected me psychologically not being able to speak my reality and be honest about my experience, concerns and where its all headed. I reached the point where I have to be upfront and blunt about it. At least we all know where we stand then.

Goosefoot · 15/06/2019 02:15

I think that a lot of them don't really understand what's happening.