Quite apart from anything else - if you're doing your job properly, who has the TIME to wank at work??
Is this something we can expect to see stats on soon, as brave and stunning people like rubbercub normalise it? Work hours lost to wanking, like smoking? Annual cost to businesses? (8.4 billion for smoking, apparently.) I expect LOJ will write a sanctimonious column claiming that, despite the lost work time (similar to having a ciggie?) wanking is actually good for you, and will go on to list the mental, emotional and physical benefits (from research done on males, of course.) Next step - a campaign to have safe spaces for workplace wankers, and wet wipe dispensers in the (gender-neutral) toilets to wipe down their rubber underwear.
I actually feel a bit sick even typing all that.