Why are women being guilt tripped into looking after mens testicles?

[QuentinWinters]

Just saw this advert. I am quite irked. Women are constantly getting pressure for smears, mammograms, and we should check our boob regularly or we will DIE and it will be our own fault.

Why are are we now also getting guilt tripped into taking responsibility for mens testicles?

Surely most men play with their wangs enough to spot changes. How about they grow up and go to the doctor themselves, without needing mummy to sort it for them?

I doubt very much there are ads in mens loos asking them to check their partners boobs and nag them to go to the doctor if something changes.

And let's not even mention that the poster is pink.

Seriously. Just

I've no doubt that as others have pointed out, there is benefit to men keeping an eye on there own balls and immediately consulting a doctor if they find a new lump.

But I can't find any evidence that says that regular testicular exams by partners improves early detection or reduces mortality from testicular cancer.

A testicular exam is not without a degree of skill - no explanation of how to perform the check in this poster. To an untrained person, a normal epididymis could feel like a lump, where you should be feeling the body of the testis for lumps as these are where testicular cancers arise.

It feels logical that scheduled checking should improve detection rates - but that's not always the case.

Women used to be advised to check their breasts regularly but there was no evidence of benefit for that either www.cochrane.org/CD003373/BREASTCA_regular-self-examination-or-clinical-examination-for-early-detection-of-breast-cancer.

Can i just point out that if i dont for some reason check my partners balls on a monthly basis it doesnt mean i dont love him or want him to die

There have been a couple or recent posts that seem to be heading in that direction

I've seen a similar poster in my local doctors I'll try and get a snap.

My grandad got it at 83 managed to find it all by himself and make himself a GP appointment despite being half deaf with cataracts and having mobility issues. There's enough information out there about it for men to read and check themselves.

'As people have said it’s often easier for a second party to distinguish a problem rather than the affected bloke'

Is it? Really? Across all the symptoms they describe on their own website?

I'm also interested to see an example of nhs campaign telling men to check their partners breasts (note, not to say if they notice something while touching them for other reasons but a formal monthly exam).

The idea that feminists are excluded from the message on the poster is v silly too. So it's definitely aimed at gay men (despite everything about it from design to wording feeling aimed at women plus its up in a women's loo) but it's definitely not aimed at feminists of any type (fun, choice, radical etc) and that was something the team who made it were aware of 😁

What about gay men who identify as feminists?

Are they part of the target audience? Conundrum.

I can ask ds1

He is probably wondering what triggered a random text from his mum about his balls

His partner is probably thinking the same thing

Jesus! I’ll add it to my list. I don’t want my husband to die of testicular cancer either obviously that goes without saying. But he’s quite capable of checking himself! I might remind him of it every once in a while but am I the only one who actually wouldn’t want to check my husband’s testicles? Testicles are not my favourite bodily part, I don’t like the idea of having to give them a thorough going over once a month with my face in a crotch.

I am so surprised that someone who is 'the enemy of women' is twisting a discussion about the sexist messaging on a toilet sign in the ladies loo into 'you all want your Male relatives to die'.

Oh wait, no. I'm not surprised at all.

Well, without wishing to stereotype, I've yet to partner with a man who doesn't spend some time each day idly playing with his testicles, so I really think they'd be the ones to notice, rather than me having a squeeze once a month...

Hell, a couple of days ago at breakfast, my youngest asked what the little spheres in his winkie were (yes, he knows the right word, he prefers this one). And now he's at least heard the word 'testicles', and age-appropriately what they're there for, and whats going to happen to them when he gets older (the last courtesy of his brother who likes to show how much he knows)

Putting the responsibility on to partners doesn’t help those in abusive relationships either.

You have to check my testicles- i can’t do it myself the nhs information says it should be done by a partner. You don’t want me to die do you? Oh look, you’ve got me all excited, you can’t stop there....

Good point. Although it's a charity, not the NHS.

I had an abnormality in my breast about five years ago and it was my DH who noticed it (not cancer but required treatment). I think such campaigns aimed at all romantic partners of both sexes might have some merit.

I think such campaigns aimed at all romantic partners of both sexes might have some merit.

They might, yes.

Campaigns such as this one, however, framing women as caretakers of men, decorated in sexist colours, and using the tropes of natural duty, do not.

Yes, I think you're right, @LangCleg

Tbh I abhor the KEEP CALM AND... trope anyway and think most people's eyes glaze over at it.

I imagine jocular adverts along the lines of "When you're playing doctors and nurses wink wink..." might get people's attention better, anyway.

@MenuPlant something being “aimed at” is not the same as exclusion, and I don’t know what was or wasn’t said at the focus meeting.

'As people have said it’s often easier for a second party to distinguish a problem rather than the affected bloke'

Men need to regularly check themselves for lumps just as women have to check their breasts for lumps, and that is not something you can do while having sex. Its not sexy.

What women can do is notice any changes, mention them to their partner, ask them to see their GP, and give them moral support.
What they cant do is force men to examine themselves, go to the doctor or keep appointments.

It would have been better if the poster had given some plain facts instead of wasting 3/4 of the page with a silly meme.

He can check his own fucking nads, thank you very much.

how can they possibly enjoy sexy funtimes ever again
Ain't that the truth powershower we must shield men from the reality of the cost that women bear to bring forth the next generation.
The most important thing is that men feel free to use women's bodies for their sexual gratification and we mustn't let all that ugly painful damage get in the way of men's right to a fulfilment must we

I don’t have words.

Also, where does it end?

Am I duty bound to inspect DP for any moles that may have changed? Dental checkup? Blood pressure? ECG? Why not a Full blood test?

If I “care about my partner living or dying”, surely I am duty bound to do all of the above?

OR:

Men can take responsibility for their own health and wellbeing. If their partners notice something concerning then they should of course raise it but by no means should they be told that it is their DUTY as a woman to monitor men’s health.

(Side note: I absolutely HATE the implication that checking each other for signs of cancer is a ‘fun’ thing to do, nudge nudge wink wink. Cancer is not sexy. It is not fun. It’s shit.)

Totally agree with you OP. Being made aware of an issue is one thing. Sod being told on a poster to do it every month for him.

Agree with a PP, if men are so shite at taking responsibility for their own health, posters in their own toilets telling them to get a grip (no pun intended) and check monthly would surely be more effective.

Also, I am cross at the idea that I could take my kids into a public toilet and see 'balls' written on an ad like that. It was a swear word when I was growing up and I wouldn't use it in front of little ones. I'm sure others will say it's perfectly neutral but not to me.

It's also teaching teenage girls that they apparently have a responsiblity to gaze at some chap's tackle monthly. When they don't.

Just reminded me I need to remind DH to book a appt at gp about some test results.

See I do this shit. We all do. He's a 40 year old man ffs. I have asked him 3 times if he's booked it.

Now I need to give him a formal monthly cancer check up as well?

Oh oops forgot I'm a feminist so shouldn't remind him about gp after all

Some people apparently believe that being a feminist and a woman and heterosexual somehow means you are Teflon to female socialisation, wife work, etc etc etc. It's really not as easy as that ffs

And he's probably not done it because he's putting it out of his mind as it means an injection bless.

He also always runs out of meds before getting new ones I REFUSE to check for him in the bathroom, ask him how much left constantly. I do say have you run out from time to time, you'd better get a repeat, have you collected from pharmacy ffs did he do this for me? No. Men are not raised to look after all and sundry.

Fucks sake.

He was excellent when I had pnd for years, he's a good one on the whole, but. But.

I'm not going to give him a formal monthly testicle check no.

Oh good grief. It's just a poster that is meant to play off of a pop culture theme. It's dumb but it isn't telling you that you need to do something or else.
If you don't want to remind your partner to do something or don't think it's necessary then that's fine. If that's nagging, don't. Honestly I avoid the dr like the plague and only go when dh gets annoying enough to make me do it to shut him up, and I'd probably be happy if he stopped. Though perhaps I'd be less healthy.
A lot of health related posters are stupid and have limited real research attached to them. That is annoying and worth criticising.