Why are women being guilt tripped into looking after mens testicles?

[QuentinWinters]

Just saw this advert. I am quite irked. Women are constantly getting pressure for smears, mammograms, and we should check our boob regularly or we will DIE and it will be our own fault.

Why are are we now also getting guilt tripped into taking responsibility for mens testicles?

Surely most men play with their wangs enough to spot changes. How about they grow up and go to the doctor themselves, without needing mummy to sort it for them?

I doubt very much there are ads in mens loos asking them to check their partners boobs and nag them to go to the doctor if something changes.

And let's not even mention that the poster is pink.

Seriously. Just

I have seen similar posters in toilets before about men checking their partners breasts for lumps etc.

Actually my husband checks my boobs and he's the one who found a lump when I'd missed it and saved my life. So if you love someone I actually don't see what the problem is.

I'm sorry Gretchen. I was on your thread at the time. You have nothing to feel guilty about, I know it's so easy to say though and I understand the "what if I had" feelings. I remember your thread so well, it was so clear how much you loved each other.

I do agree we should care for and be aware of changes in our partners, male or female.

I think the issue in this particular case is the peremptory tone and the lack of equality, as you say. Women are ordered, men are advised (except I don't think I've ever seen a corresponding poster either ordering or advising men about changes in their partners' breasts). It's just another example of how women are ordered to take responsibility for men.

Is the wording the same, simonjt?

@WeBuiltCisCityOnSexistRoles

I don’t know, my memory isn’t good enough to remember that much detail, it would be handy if it was!

Really sorry to hear that, Gretchen.

I don't see the problem. There are plenty of leaflets on breast cancer encouraging men to pay attention to changes in their partners breasts.

For me, the end justifies the means here. Yes, we should encourage men to be self-aware and check their own testicles regularly, but if, in the meantime, this campaign helps catch some cases of cancer early, it can only be a good thing.

A pp raised a good point that there's no NHS screening for testicular cancer, as there is for breast and cervical cancer.

I think the message is fine- looking out for a loved one's health is a good thing. On a different level I object to the pinkness of the poster because it's aimed at the wimmin. And the stupid keep calm bit.

Bollocks to this wifework. Literally and figuratively.

Yeah.... nah.
I mean, I won't not tell him if I happen upon it, but I won't add 'ball check' to my monthly wife work schedule

men are constantly fiddling with their testicles there's no need for us to pay any more attention to the things

@SimonJT I would love to see that poster.

I think there would be an outcry from feminist groups if that poster existed. We can check our own breasts and telling men to do it for us is downright creepy.

I think this sign can only be a positive thing, but it's not putting the responsibility onto women IMO, and definitely isn't encouraging you to do anything you wouldn't normally do anyway So putting up a poster in women's toilets instructing women to "check his balls" isn't putting the responsibility onto women? And I doubt checking said balls is something we would "normally do anyway". It's bad enough I feel obliged to remind my husband to take his multivitamin, to take a hat with him when he plays golf on a sunny day, and ask if he's remembered to put on sunscreen - I really don't appreciate any additional pressure to be responsible for a grown man!

Does anyone actually deliberately plan to do this? Or vice verse with men checking women’s breasts?

Because basically it’s implying that while your other half thinks you’re indulging in a sexual grope, you’re actually assessing bits of their body for potential cancer. Sexy.

I don’t want to do that. I don’t want my husband wondering if I’m feeling his balls because they might be lumpy. I especially don’t want either of us pondering that and trying to carry on with sexy time anyway. Just ew.

*versa

Yep it is ridiculous. Would there be a similar advert about women's breast examinations?!

My dp has pointed out lumps on my boobs, isn't that normal ??

I actually think it's healthy to talk about health symptoms and worries within a relationship. If my dp points out something is different I'm likely to check myself and make an appointment if needed. I took the poster as meaning if you feel anything different when your face is in his bollocks, so to speak. Tell him.

I didn't take it as meaning get him to drop his pants once a week for a health check.

I agree but I know a couple women who only got themselves checked out because their partners had found a lump in their breasts. Maybe there are ads in the men’s!

I know a couple women who only got themselves checked out because their partners had found a lump in their breasts.

That's very common. It tends to happen during foreplay, though, not because men are deliberately looking for lumps.

The point, surely, is that this insults men as well as guilt-tripping women. They're not children. They can check their own testicles.

That's very common. It tends to happen during foreplay, though, not because men are deliberately looking for lumps

Exactly!!.

I didn't take it as meaning get him to drop his pants once a week for a health check.

It literally says “check them monthly”. I don’t think it could be clearer.

It either means patronise your partner by telling him to drop his pants so you can do something he could do himself, or fake sexual arousal so that you can check his balls without him knowing. It doesn’t say “if you happen to notice anything...” it’s giving instructions for a deliberate check. I stand by my ew.

Obviously if i do feel something different i will tell him

I’m not gonna keep it a secret

Sorry, but I don't think the end justifies the means. The fact is that you can put out messages with all sorts of unhelpful implications with that reasoning. West Yorkshire Police putting out posters warning girls that there are rape gangs about? Sound reasonable, until you read the thing calling girls 'animals' and warning them that having fun is a green light for rape gangs and placing the responsibility on the girls for their potential rape.

Same shitty nonsense going on here. Yeah, catching the signs of cancer early, good, important, indeed. Basing your messaging on ideas about men being stupid, lazy, reticent and reliant on their women folk to be responsible for checking their health is just feeding into all sorts of crap that will probably actively work against a reduction of deaths from cancer and might even add to those unnecessary psychological burdens of guilt mentioned upthread.

And honestly, I am so over this idea that we should smile indulgently, accept that men are a bit useless and keep mollycoddling them. It helps neither men nor women.

Actually I have a go at my husband for being a selfish prat for not putting on sunscreen (live in a hot country). Note - not pretend to give him a massage with suncream. By the same token I am not going to pussy foot around him for testicular cancer. He is a father and he has responsibilities. He is not another child. So maybe the ad kind of works for our relationship. I won't do the ball checking, but I'll do the reminding yelling. I do definitely object to the tone though. Little woman make sure your proud husband is okay.

Btw an old boyfriend told me that men always go to the doctor's if they suspect their tackle is going to fall off. I wonder what research prompted this ad?