Beauty regime burdens

[Sunkisses]

Given recent threads on make up and false nails that have produced much debate and defensiveness, I thought a thread highlighting all the ever more elaborate and costly things and products women are expected to do to their appearance now could be illuminating. Particularly new things, or things that have become a lot more mainstream. Men are not expected to 'groom' and spend so much time/money on their appearance, and many women think just because they 'choose' to, it's not a feminist issue. It is, particularly the messages we send our daughters that our purpose is to be decorative. Things like:
Push up bras
Leg hair removal
Pubic hair removal, especially waxing and Brazilians - ouch
Underarm hair removal
False eyelashes
Eyebrow threading
Hair that costs a fortune (highlights etc)
Body contouring underwear
Botox and fillers
Plastic surgery like breast implants
Hair extensions
Fake tan
False fingernails

Yet women and girls are expected to wear skimpy items that necessitate shaving and even if that's not a problem put us at constant risk of showing more than we want to if we dare to actually move about

There are plenty of options which are not skimpy. I have a tank top with a built in bra worn with "boy's shorts" style bottoms and a skirted suit which covers a lot. Neither have ever resulted in any accidents, nor any shaving.

Who is "expecting" you to wear skimpy swimwear? I doubt anyone at the beach or pool gives tuppence about what others are wearing.

A man can wear a black lounge suit for an afternoon tea, a dinner, a civic day event, an awards ceremony, an evening performance, Remembrance Sunday, a Christmas party, a church service, a funeral, pretty much anything that's formal

But women can't, as a rule

There is absolutely no reason why formal outfits can't be worn to more than one event. You could attend all the events you mention, except a full on black- tie event, in the same tailored dress or suit.

Just leaving this here:

www.theguardian.com/world/2019/jun/05/high-heels-at-work-are-necessary-says-japan-labour-minister

In response to Japanese women who have protested against this.

Great post PackingSoap

To put a figure on it, I totted up how much time it has taken me in my life thus far to shave my arm pits. Presuming two minutes three times a week for 30 years, I worked out I have spent 156 hours of my life yes, nearly an entire week just shaving under my arms.

I dread to think what the figure would be if I included shaving my legs as well.

That's astonishing put in this way.

"I worked out I have spent 156 hours of my life yes, nearly an entire week just shaving under my arms.

I dread to think what the figure would be if I included shaving my legs as well.

That's astonishing put in this way."

Yes, but many men shave their face every day, or every weekday, regardless of season or what they're wearing. I think men have more of a chore when it comes to shaving.

"Waist training. A bullshit phrase for modern day tight lacing/corsetry. I thought that shit had gone out with the 16th century but apparently not. "

Does anyone know someone in real life who does that?

"So I did a cursory look for a swim set that had shorts, and the only thing on figleaves with shorts was bloody £96."

I have a swimming leg suit that was a normal price. It is more appropriate for the pool than for sunbathing. For sunbathing, I might wear bikini top and shorts.
I know lots of female politicians who rotate the same clothes all the time. I think you're really exaggerating the need for different outfits for formal events.

the inequality of swimwear. It always irritates me that on holiday men can lounge around the pool and swim etc in comfy looking shorts that are long enough to cover everything. Yet women and girls are expected to wear skimpy items that necessitate shaving and even if that's not a problem put us at constant risk of showing more than we want to if we dare to actually move about.

This is my hell atm. I'm no longer shaving anywhere as a political statement and because I don't care and can't be fucked and as a result I can only go swimming if I'm happy to have all my pubic hair on display because all swimsuits/ bikinis are high legged and pushup bras etc. I just want swimming trunks like men get. Comfy, sensible swimming trunks that don't ride up your arse. My options on that front seem to be either spend ££££ on some board shorts or buy trunks from the teenage boy section!

the thing is you have to be mindful that the event is for those people, not yourself; you have a duty to them to appear appropriately

That's it, I'm having a grump atm because I've got a dress for my friends wedding but I don't want to shave my legs but I don't want to draw any attention to myself at someone else's event. My mum and partner suggested I go in a nice suit which I'd fucking love to do, but I don't think someone elses wedding is the right place to make a stand on this stuff. I just want to be as invisible as possible, but I don't want to shave my sodding legs. It's taken me a year to get passed the scratchy phase to the comfy phase and I'm not starting over!

Tbh, even if women aren't actually expected by anyone to do these things, it's pretty clear that an awful lot of us feel like we are. I get all the "who's forcing you to wear a bikini?", "why can't you wear a suit/ recycle your dress?" comments, and they may be correct that no one actually gives a shit, but if women feel like they have to or they'll face judgement then the effect is the same. Whether the feelings have a basis in reality is, in many ways, neither here nor there.

By I had the same dress dilemma and wore a pair of lacey footless tights which meant I could still wear my nice sandles and not shave. I had hairy ankles but thought that was ok as at least I’d made the effort.

How crap that it’s come to this: that we feel it’d be drawing attention to ourselves at someone else’s event to wear a dress with hairy legs.

I’m talking a thick covering of dark hairs on pale skin, not just wispy blond things before anyone says no one would probably even notice. Believe me, they notice.

Does anyone know someone in real life who does that?

Yes. Sadly several of the young women in my office do because they’ve seen their idols doing it.

Yeh I have very dark thick hair on pale skin too barelove. Good advice on the tights though, thanks :)

m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=2301773183179160&id=172523236104176&ref=m_notif&notif_t=feedback_reaction_generic

Nothing has shocked me more than this advert for a printer that prints make up onto a thin film to cover any disfigurements like freckles and save hours of applying makeup.

People have mentioned the different expectations that exist for women and for men as far as clothing is concerned, and it's really interesting to see how there are restrictions for everyone, but not the same ones. So a man can wear (in fact must wear) what amounts to a uniform to any formal occasion, and it's fine so long as he wears it properly. A woman has lots of choice, but she has to make the right choice, and it can't be the same thing so often that it's recognisable. A lot of the time, the women can be in light dresses with sandals, and the men have to be in full suits with heavy shoes regardless of the weather. But then, as some people have been saying, summer clothing for women comes with the assumption that body hair will not be seen, regardless of how informal the occasion is. At least if a man does have the opportunity to get some of his kit off, nobody expects him to be hairless. (Not entirely true for young fellows these days, so we hear.)

And men do have facial hair which requires some attention, if not daily shaving. But then, there are women whose physical nature makes facial hair want to grow for them too, and isn't that the Ultimate Horror? I've heard women say that dealing with persistent beard and moustache growth is a miserable job, and at least the world allows for some degree of unshaven-ness in the case of male faces. So it's not clear who's in the worst position.

"Yes, but many men shave their face every day, or every weekday, regardless of season or what they're wearing. I think men have more of a chore when it comes to shaving"

How many men have received rape threats for having a beard.

Just posted this on another thread and its made me think ..........

"An ex of mine was quite hairy (a redhead) and it didnt bother me one iota. Ditto he wasnt bothered whether i waxed my legs or not
We had an amazing sexual chemistry and couldnt stay away from each other.
Body hair just didnt come into it."

It does make me wonder if the people whose preferences are that strong have ever felt true sexual chemistry.

Ex and i were so into each other we didnt care about body hair.

The level of our want for each other was that strong.

Whether the feelings have a basis in reality is, in many ways, neither here nor there.

This is of course true, but at that same time it can be worth pointing out that some things people feel are necessary, aren't.

Sometimes it can be a very welcome revelation to find out that really, no one cares if you wear boy shorts rather than some high cut leg bikini thing at the beach, and quite a few people do so but you just never noticed.

"How many men have received rape threats for having a beard."

I don't know, but I imagine many would not get certain jobs if they didn't shave their faces, at least when beards are not in fashion.
How many women get threats for not shaving their legs? It's not the norm, is it? I can assure you that if I went out with hairy legs, nobody would even notice let alone threaten me.

"and it can't be the same thing so often that it's recognisable"

Many of us have pointed out that in our own lives we've never seen thing thing of women not being supposed to wear the same thing twice. Even for women with public profiles, I think it works better for them if they DO wear the same or similar things all the time as it helps recognition. My MP wears more or less the same thing all the time.

"the inequality of swimwear. It always irritates me that on holiday men can lounge around the pool and swim etc in comfy looking shorts that are long enough to cover everything. "

Some European countries impose tight swimwear on men too (ostensibly for hygiene reasons ) and Muslim men complain of it being discriminatory as they're not allowed to wear tight costumes.

"why can't you wear a suit/ recycle your dress?" comments, and they may be correct that no one actually gives a shit, but if women feel like they have to or they'll face judgement then the effect is the same. "

I don't really agree. I know women who are butch lesbians. They just wear top/shirt and trousers to everything. Beyond childhood stage when some mothers tried to get them into skirts, this has never caused them any problem.
The issue with the legs and the dress for the wedding is a non-problem as the pp would not attract judgement for wearing trousers as long as they were dressed up enough for the occasion.

"Sadly several of the young women in my office do because they’ve seen their idols doing it."

I'm really shocked! Never seen those things in the shops or anything.

ByGrabthars Honestly, I've always worn trouser suits at weddings and in the last few years it's increasingly common.

I saw a couple of women wearing what was probably their work suit at weddings. It's really fine, don't worry about it. You will not draw attention to yourself unless it's that kind of circle of people.

re swimwear, has anyone tried men's swimming trunks?

re swimwear, has anyone tried men's swimming trunks?

I thought about this until I realised my hips are 42".

Those would be some big men's trunks (and they then wouldn't fit around the waist).

I'm 50 now and don't do an awful lot. I shave armpit hair and legs (to knee). I am single now so my legs are unshaven in winter. I have gorilla legs, hairier than a man and dark hairs so very visible. I have long hair to below shoulders which I trim myself but it's all salt and pepper now, but I can't be bothered to dye it. I don't wear much makeup, and given up wearing heels. I used to wear contacts but now only wear glasses.

Swimming, I wear a tankini with board shorts over the pants so I never bother with bikini line. I would never wear a bottom half that was high cut or basically like knickers as I'd be too hairy. I remember there sketch from Smack the Pony with a woman going swimming with massive tufty pubic hair on show. That'd be me