Beauty regime burdens

[Sunkisses]

Given recent threads on make up and false nails that have produced much debate and defensiveness, I thought a thread highlighting all the ever more elaborate and costly things and products women are expected to do to their appearance now could be illuminating. Particularly new things, or things that have become a lot more mainstream. Men are not expected to 'groom' and spend so much time/money on their appearance, and many women think just because they 'choose' to, it's not a feminist issue. It is, particularly the messages we send our daughters that our purpose is to be decorative. Things like:
Push up bras
Leg hair removal
Pubic hair removal, especially waxing and Brazilians - ouch
Underarm hair removal
False eyelashes
Eyebrow threading
Hair that costs a fortune (highlights etc)
Body contouring underwear
Botox and fillers
Plastic surgery like breast implants
Hair extensions
Fake tan
False fingernails

Try standing in a shopping centre and looking across the centre at women’s feet. The vast majority of women do not wear heels.

Dd doesnt wear much makeup...or do much to her hair

She shaves when she is baring the relevant skin...which I appreciate is still shaving but at least its not all the time

She wears trainers unless she is going out for an evening...but when she goes out she is desperate to wear very high heels. She just can’t walk in them. She looks like bambi on ice

And although i will take responsibility for the shaving bit as i do the same (i look like a yeti in the winter) i am not taking responsibility for the heels bit. Thats society

I wouldn't bother quoting Naomi Wolf, to be honest, seeing as she's just been called out on shitty research on her latest book.
The only things I do on that list is shave my legs and underarms with a lady shaver once a week or so. I suspect most of the women around me also do very little. I think most women start off doing more beauty stuff but it tails off as we get older.
jackolantern it's acceptable for women to wear socks and trainers now, loads of women do. Some companies have a dress code that stipulates dress shoes but that usually applies to men too.
I have noticed the short/long hair thing though. There is definitely gender stereotyping going on there. I suspect there will be a pushback in the next few years though.

I'm unsure on this one. If you ask MN how they feel about big square eyebrows and Kardashian style contouring etc not one person will admit to doing it. They'll all say it looks bloody terrible.

Yet young women do it. It isn't attractive to men, so what's at play here? No young man refuses sex on the grounds that the girl hasn't caked on enough brown powder or that her eyebrows aren't black enough.

It's a peer group thing, apparently imposed from within. The nations mothers are left baffled by it all.

I would take issue with the statement that girls seem happy enough. That’s not true- numerous studies have shown that young women’s confidence is at rock bottom. They are not happy. I don’t know if it has anything to do with beauty regimes but something is seriously wrong in any event.

MorrisZapp I think the story that young men are never going to turn down sex and that they don’t care what a woman looks like is patently false. They very clearly do care- they are very critical of women’s appearance online for instance. They have been brought up to expect unrealistic perfection through porn and absolutely judge women who do not keep up with this punishing regime. They do sometimes claim to like the ‘natural look’ but what they mean is someone who is naturally stunning (and presumably removes all pubic hair and is thin, toned, tanned etc). This is not to say that every young man is like this- there are many exceptions- but if you look at shows like Love Island, you will see that the push for women to be groomed comes very heavily from men as well.

'The vast majority of women do not wear heels.'

Maybe not when planning to carry shopping.
But for a night out, or a wedding?

I think the Bambi look is deliberate.
It's vulnerability.
Which overlaps with many conceptions of femininity.
And the point of 'beauty and misogyny ' is that femininity is not the same as who women are.
It isn't a secret essence or a destiny.
It is a performance and an industry

I think the Bambi look is deliberate

Not in dds case...she is unable to walk in heels of one inch

No balance

BUT i do agree that the unintended bambi on ice look isnt seen as a turn off ....at all

When i do think it was something that other generations didnt do...if you couldnt walk in heels...then you didnt wear them. The whole point was to look like a glamorous sexy woman...not a baby giraffe

It's Naomi Klein who didn't do her research not Naomi Wolf. Naomi Wolf is a 56 year old American who wrote the Beauty Myth, Naomi Klein is a 49 year old Canadian whose recent book Outrages wrongly interpreted the term "death recorded"

When I talk about femininity I am talking about it as an institution and set of social pressures.
I do not mean to criticize any individual woman or girl.
And I don't think that if you said 'hi wear these heels so you can't run and look vulnerable' anyone would jump at the chance.
As individuals our reasons will likely vary and for the most part will make sense to us.
It's examining it as a system that interests me.
What are the effects on women as a class?
What happens when you follow the money?
Who does this benefit?

No, 2Rebecca, that’s Naomi Wolf too- the author of Outrages. She also believes in chemtrails. Although I agree with most of her points in the Beauty Myth.

Highlights
Lowlights
Perms
Hair curlers
Hair straighteners
Hairspray
Setting lotion
Foundation
Face powder
Blusher
Bronzer
Highlighter
Concealer
Lipstick
Lip gloss
Lip liner
Eye liner
Eye shadow
Mascara
Nail varnish
Nail extensions
Neck cream
Hand cream
Body lotion
Perfume
Expensive moisturisers
Anit-aging creams
Cleanser
Toner
Chemical peels
Dermabrasion
Breast enlargement
Bottom implants
Liposuction
Labioplasty
Vaginal tightening
Face lifts
Facial implants

That's a lot of time, money and women's thought and energy.

super

I know you mean women as a class

And as i say as a teen i would have been utterly embarrassed if i couldnt walk in heels

Dd isnt phased at all and neither are her friends

And they are prepared to put up with a level of pain that I certainly wouldn’t be ...back in my youth or now

So i think there has been a change

Sorry you are right.

I feel quite relaxed about the fact that I do womaning wrong, when I look at that huge list^.

good list Erythronium

as a younger woman I once lost my makeup bag - this was just the bag of stuff I carried around with me, choice pieces from the motherlode of makeup in my bedroom. I realised that it would cost me £400 to replace the products in the bag. I should have had the bloody thing insured

I do still splurge on make up, and I love it. as long as I still have money for the important things I don't see it as a problem. but it is important to be aware of why that £30 lipstick seems essential to you, or your hair must be straightened or whatever. one of the reasons I never touch women's magazines or lifestyle supplements any more. all they want to do is sell you stuff.

I'm just going to leave this here;
tinyurl.com/Fembooks1

V rare to see teen girls with short hair at all these days

When I was a teen thirty odd years ago almost all the girls in my class had hair that was either short or bobbed (chin length). The only girl who did have hair down past her shoulders came in to school one Monday morning with a quite spectacular eighties mullet declaring that she was "fed up of looking like a fucking hippy."

I feel quite relaxed about the fact that I do womaning wrong, when I look at that huge list

As if any woman does everything on that list.

Some of the examples are ridiculous- like hand cream and perfume. How is using hand cream oppression? Men use perfume. My husband uses moisturiser on his dry skin.

Cleanser - is the only feminist approved way of cleaning your face Wright's coal tar soap?

Body lotion- I use it when my skin on my legs for some reason gets very dry (this happens regardless of whether I've shaved or not) I never realised that calming dry skin was really me being oppressed by the patriarchy.

I don't bother with most of those, just leg and armpit hair removal though it does bother me a bit that I feel the need to do those but can't quite convince myself to not do them.

But I feel so sorry for DD to grow up nowadays when there is so much more pressure on girls to look a certain way, it wasn't so bad when I was growing up although it was definitely heading in that direction but the pressure wasn't so much so I was able to avoid it all apart from the leg and armpit hair without too much hassle.

There are 38 things on that list

And I currently do 22 of them

And i dont do any of the 7 hair things

Oops

And your average man does hardly any of them

I only shave my underam hair about once a week, or however long it takes before it starts to become a problem with putting on stick deodorant, or it increases how quickly I can notice any odour. I do occasionally shave my legs in summer, if it's hot weather & I'm planning to wear a short skirt or shorts, but I mostly cover up to protect from the sun, I can go years without shaving them if we have a crap summer!

I do have a skincare routine & do face masks, but that's because I have troublesome skin & if I don't look after it I still get painful cystic spots, they can take several weeks to go, & the red marks take several months to fade. Not about beauty, so much as comfort & confidence.

I am considering dying my eyebrows though. They are so pale it's ridiculous, & I CBA with brow pencils every day. I need some help to look a bit more feminine, considering I have a boy's haircut, not by choice. Shitty thin fragile hair.

On erythoronium list

By all accounts of what is written here, I do most of womanhood very wrong and have been doing so my whole life. My hair is very very long but this isn't me bowing down to social norms (in fact most teenagers around my area have shorter hair). I don't straighten it nor do highlights/lowlights/blow dry etc. I have started dying my greys recently as I think I am a bit young to be having white hairs on a bed of jet black hair. I do thread my eyebrows but if I didn't then I would have a huge long monobrow scralling across my face, although I only do them once a month. I dont own any high heels, the only make up I own is my lip balm (if you can call it make up). I have been to swimming pools and spas with my hairy legs in all their glory (my legs are hairier than DHs) but do get them waxed when the skin is very dry. My upbringing had always been to focus on my inner self and to my increase my knowledge of the world and beyond. I am by no means scruffy but not made up like some others I see. I see there is social pressure for girls to conform to the norms but I also see there is pressure not to conform too.

From that list on an everyday basis I do these

Foundation
Lipstick*
Hand cream*
Body lotion*
Perfume*
Cleanser*

The ones with the asterisks are either things my husband also does because of dry skin (although a chap stick rather than a lipstick) and/ or basic hygiene (cleanser)

I have my hair coloured every 5 weeks. Between the cut and the colour it takes an hour and a half on a Saturday morning.

Hand cream*
Body lotion*
Perfume*

Cleanser*