Ama - transwoman

[Indigo9]

I've heard about Mumsnet for years in regards to views on transgender women. But until today I had never visited the site. I've spent hours reading posts related to transwomen and the gender ID bill. I do think there is a little bit of a disconnect with regards to who and what we are. So I've decided to setup this profile with a mind to answering questions you may have about being transgender. I'm not in to hate or insults, so you won't see me participate in any mud slinging, name calling or anything else. I will, however, answer any legitimate questions from my own perspective. I do not speak for the whole trans community and would not try to, but will happily share what I know.

Hello, thanks for starting the thread. I hope you come back and answer the non-goady questions at least.
I have this question for you, what do you make of the 'otherkin/furries' phenomenon (sorry if those are two different things I'm conflating, it's confusing!)?? If you're not aware of it there's quite a lot that comes up when you google. Is trans-species in any way like transgender?

Or another example, a few years ago Rachel Dolezal was hugely criticised for identifying as black. She stated that she genuinely felt this was a true reflection of who she was inside, despite having Caucasian parents/growing up as white. Do you think the criticism she received for self-identifying as black was unfair if this is really how she feels?

I'm trying to figure out if there is any essential difference between genuinely feeling like, and identifying as a different species or ethnicity, and being transgender? This may sound facetious but I'm not trying to be. Thanks.

"at this point, and for this poster, a grey rock seems appropriate.

Yes, you're right."

By all means, shut your face. That would be a real shame.

It is quite common for a pack mentality to take over on forums; so that people start to dialogue with each other rather than the OP. People who are familiar with each other make jokes etc, as they know each other's traits and mentality. This can often seem and feel like bullying to someone who is new to a thread or a forum.

I don't think the OP was malicious or vexatious, but they did invite questions and comments, though. I don't think it is possible to be in the wrong body, or that there is a specific way of feeling like a woman, other than through the obvious biological functions. Much of what the OP refers to sounds like the performance of gender, and the dis-indentification with traditional and violent masculinities.

It is sad that parents can be so thoughtlessly brutal to children when they don't conform to gendered expectations, meaning that some people would rather under-go transition rather than accept their hompsexuality.

I only just got Lang’s second crossword. I thought it was “gettae fuck” but it didn’t quite fit 😂

By all means, shut your face. That would be a real shame.

Did you mean to be so rude

Sorry to disappoint you but I'm only stopping engaging with you, not the thread.

I couldn't get either!

Yes, I have enjoyed Lang's little brain teasers. something to lighten the mood.

That suits me fine @Ereshkigal

Pop off and sit on your rock. It'll be such a terrible punishment for me

@VeronicaDinner well said.

To your first post I mean

By all means, shut your face. That would be a real shame.

I thought we were all meant to be nice here, veronica? That’s not very nice.

Can I share your rock, Eresh?

It's a big enough rock for all

I'll be surprised (and a little impressed) if the OP comes back TBH. I'd expect a lot of screen shots to end up on twitter, evidence of the 'nastiness' that can't be explained.

but it was threads like this that made me change my mind on trans issues. seeing a male trying and failing to explain what makes them a woman is actually very enlightening.

Thanks to this thread, i have remembered an xDP's very unattractive grey jogging bottoms that he used to put on after work.

I had repressed that memory and now it is back with avengeance. Bleurgh!

but it was threads like this that made me change my mind on trans issues. seeing a male trying and failing to explain what makes them a woman is actually very enlightening.

Always.

@SophoclesTheFox

No, it's fine. I've been gray rocked so that post has gone out of existence for her.

A male born individual comes on who claims the illogic nonsense that not only would they be beaten up in a man's toilet, because they're trans, they also pass unequivocally in the women's toilet.

They claim that female space is something they are entitled to, including women's sport. They claim that there are 'so many' things that define them as a woman they can't possibly even give us one.

They claim that not only do many women think differently, women think in a weak way, which now they do too, despite saying they can dominate women spaces/sports/movements.

And push back against that is called bullying. In an effort to exploit and leverage women's socialisation, in the hope that they get guilt tripped into capitulation.

And when they don't, the anger starts.

It's transparent and utterly predictable.

There’s been no bullying whatsoever, nothing that resembles it. I don’t know what was deleted because it must have happened pretty quickly.

The OP started the conversation and it was continued in their absence. They may be back, given the time difference.

But really, there is nothing to be gained from
It. There is a strong sense of entitlement from them, and no empathy for women. To my mind, this is at the very root of the problem. People claiming to ‘think like a woman’ and yet have no understanding (or even attempt to understand) what being a woman means. So it remains and abstract idea in the head of someone who will not experience it.

Just as I will never experience what it is to live and be socialised as Male, suffer from GD and undergo life changing surgery and life long medication. It must in intolerable. I can empathise with no real understanding. I wish trans women wouldn’t appropriate womanhood to validate themselves. I wish they would stand up for who they are, campaign for what they need, and be who they are in their own right. God knows women know enough about this to be supportive.

If we weren’t being completely fucked over by TRAs instead.

@VeronicaDinner
Ooh not the grey rock! Have at it

That raised a WTF is all that about anyway, have people got bored sharing recipes lol so I'm going to grey rock you if I I don't like what you're saying

seeing a male trying and failing to explain what makes them a woman is actually very enlightening.

Isn't it just. Stereotype, stereotype, feelz, 'essence', stereotype...

because I think at the beginning I thought 'oh right, you want to completely dismantle sex segregation? well no-one would do that without a really good reason'.

it took several goes round before I understood that there is no good reason, or rather a reason that is good to the males who propose this stuff (because it makes me feel better), but is not good for women.

DanceLikeEmmaGoldmnan 's 07:40 post says it better than me. If you want to turn established precedents that work for women on their head, you need to be able to explain why