Dads to be are 2nd class citizens on the labour ward because they don't get offered a cup of tea...

[FromDespairToHere]

Hope the link works: www.thedadsnet.com/forums/topic/2nd-class-citizens/?fbclid=IwAR2ah6KP7KIIY1RD5EebUKOBdolCcuI6w2kDndAiZoTBqc2WVWif-HFCeaY

How dare he not be the centre of attention while his wife is giving birth?

Thankfully most of the other men on the forum are quick enough to tell him he's a knob.

MenuPlant

No you aren't right.

I don't think it is right to get a patient on bed rest (me) to sit with a woman in labour (my sister) while she has a bath because a) the midwives were too busy (apparently) :)wouldn't transfer her to labour ward so that she could have proper pain relief hence them suggesting she have a bath and c) letting her husband stay on the ward to do the supporting that the midwives couldn't do.

I never said anything about menus and wine. My point is, nurses are relying on relatives to perform duties that staff should be doing. So relatives clearly have a "value" to hospitals.

This is some of the worst MErailing on mumsnet I have ever seen.

Why are you making it all about yourself, mouse? Can't we just talk about male entitlement in maternity wards with hearing the ChristmasMouse history of hospital stays in 12 volumes?

But what about de menz?! I nearly died but I lived because I was so worried about de menz!

No, you are all right, my husband didn't have to stay there with me for 5 days.

What he should have done is said to me " stuff you. Get on with this best way you can. I am going home to have my dinner and sleep in my own bed every night."

And had I come on here to report that you all would have been fully supportive of him right?

Er - popping to feed yourself from a hospital canteen for an hour is not saying "stuff you, get on with it the best you can".

ZebrasAreBras
Because that is all any of you want to hear - men are awful, men are entitled. Basically, you just want people to agree with you.

I'm surprised that any babies have actually been conceived considering how awful men are and how little you all think of them.

ZebrasAreBras

Oh so sleeping in an upright arm chair for 5 nights is ok by you, but only living off of water and snacks isn't? And paying to eat out, 3 meals a day, is ok but going home to eat and bring food back with you isn't ok?

Some men are entitled - like the chap who wrote the thread in the OP. Whinging on about he was invisible and deserves a cup of tea - just for being there.

Luckily, my DH is not like that - so I managed to procreate with him a number of times

Why you think your husband should be entitled to hospital food, when he's not the patient, is beyond me.

Mouse, I'd like to applaud your truly successful derailment of a thread and any possibility of anyone else managing to have a meaningful conversation.

Bravo.

Yes the options were either no food and drink for 5 days or fuck you wife and leaving forever.

Apart from there was food and drink.

By the way, often in hosp there are other people about, who if they popping to canteen are happy to pick something up for other visitors.

Or was this a deserted as well as isolated hospital room

With water readily available and a food trolley that came round :D

Your DH did not have to go without food or water for 5 days did he.

You're being very very very silly indeed.

Another one of those times where I feel absolutely blessed to be a lesbian. I haven't given birth yet, I am currently pregnant with twins and my partner knows that it's my vagina/stomach these babies are coming out of, not hers (which she is incredibly grateful for) she knows she is going to be there for me and for our children. But if she is useless, like this man sounds to be, I would kick her out. No one has a right to be in the delivery room if the woman giving birth is not comfortable. No one. Not your mum, not your best friend, and not even your partner.

Bring snacks and drinks in the hospital bag honestly. You don't need a mother, you're an adult who is about to become a parent, take some responsibility instead of acting like a child whose sibling is getting all of the attention.

Birth is all about the pregnant woman. Parenthood is a different matter.

don't think it is right to get a patient on bed rest (me) to sit with a woman in labour (my sister) while she has a bath because a) the midwives were too busy (apparently)wouldn't transfer her to labour ward so that she could have proper pain relief hence them suggesting she have a bath and c) letting her husband stay on the ward to do the supporting that the midwives couldn't do. never said anything about menus and wine. My point is, nurses are relying on relatives to perform duties that staff should be doing. So relatives clearly have a "value" to hospitals.

You do understand that in those situations they were so short of staff that that is the reason you were forced to help. If they had extra staff to make extra fucking meals they would not have used you for the help.

And for you who is moaning that poor people live hours from home to also complain that they receive taxi help. What the ever loving fuck is your problem. I refuse to think anyone is this dim. You're purely being goady

I'm surprised that any babies have actually been conceived considering how awful men are and how little you all think of them.

I did it three times over actually! Do you know why? Because I didn't marry an idiot and I actually have enough respect for men to not think they need to be treated like babies who need snack bags. You clearly think they're all idiots.

And for you who is moaning that poor people live hours from home to also complain that they receive taxi help.

Except it isn't people who live hours from the hospital. It is people who live a 15 minute taxi ride or a bus journey. But who openly tell me that why should they have to pay, get a bus etc and so they request transport which because they are older they get. Still manage to go out and about every other day on buses though, it's only hospital appointments that they can't do.

So for those people I would stop transport.

And Guyliner maybe in my sister's case they were short staffed. Who knows? If they were they could have let her husband stay at the end of visiting to provide the care that she needed, but were too busy to give, or transferred her to labour ward (which they did an hour later anyway) to get the pain relief she needed.

No justification for getting a patient on bed rest up (when I wasn't even allowed up to use the toilet) to supplement their staffing levels.

But clearly that makes me unreasonable and entitled too.

Dear god! Slept in a chair, too! And here I thought doing El Camino de Santiago barefoot whilst continually flagellating myself was pushing the martyr boat out a bit.

@NaturatintGoldenChestnut you crack me up!

@MamaDane l can see why you feel like that. Especially after this thread

@Guyiner yep secret is to not have babies with morons. Hence why l never had children with my ex husband

A few points l would like up address is who is going pay for double the amount of food if not more? Literally every ward costs for the amount of patients it has -milk, bread, fruit, meals etc. The NHS barely has enough money as it is and can’t already do everything is needs to do. I have never worked on a ward where the domestics serve food, it’s something the nurses do. The domestics are too busy cleaning -they are often short staffed as well

If you are trying to convince me that youre entitled and ME ME ME as well as your husband, you needn't bother. I believe you 100 percent.

yep secret is to not have babies with morons. Hence why l never had children with my ex husband

they should teach it in schools.

Of course you shouldn't have been asked to supervise your sister in the bath - nobody here thinks that. I would have thought that was a severe failing of care by the hospital - and worthy of complaint.

So, do you think these pressed and rushed hospital staff who were on the ward with your sister that night should be having to make tea for non-patients? Because that's what this thread is about.

Another one of those times where I feel absolutely blessed to be a lesbian.

I wonder if certain posters would have tied themselves up in knots to defend the OP of the dadsnet thread if the poster had been a lesbian and not a man

yep secret is to not have babies with morons.

Yep. Teach your daughters.

If they find out when he's whinging from the maternity ward, well, it's too late

Teaching your sons the art of feeding themselves, and fetching their own tea, is a good idea too

EL8888

I am not arguing for visitors meals on every ward. Certainly vending machines, or facilities to make a drink on labour ward.

And meals provided for parents staying on paeds wards, nicu or relatives staying overnight in ICU.

And the hospital that I have just come out of the cleaners and catering staff were different people. The food staff served breakfast alone in the morning, then hot drinks and snacks mid morning and mid afternoon.

Lunch and dinner was plated up by them and then hcas and volunteers delivered it to the rooms, with one or two nurses helping if needed.

If they find out when he's whinging from the maternity ward, well, it's too late

I find myself wanting to maim about half the men on One Born Every Minute. Imagine having video evidence forever that you married an idiot.

Well, I think visitor's meals would be filed under a 'nice to have' tbh, Mouse.

At a time when the NHS is on it's knees, staff leaving in droves, I think that suggestion may be laughed out of the room.

So, do you think these pressed and rushed hospital staff who were on the ward with your sister that night should be having to make tea for non-patients? Because that's what this thread is about.

No, for the millionth time, I don't. I do think provision should be made, as I said in my 1st post, for birth partners to be able to get a drink on the labour ward, either from a vending machine or by providing a kettle etc.

I've not said I think the midwives should be running around waiting on relatives. But nor do I think hospitals are reasonable to expect visitors to be stuck on certain wards and unable to get a drink.

Labour wards are like Fort Knox. You don't just wander in and out do you? You have to be buzzed back in, which is also a pain for staff to have to keep coming back to the desk to buzz relatives back in when they are going in and out to get food and drink.

Or is that entitled too? To expect a midwife to let you back in X by however many birthing partners there are on the ward that day X how many times each one goes out for food or a drink?