BBC "top story": How I came out as non-binary to my parents

[ByGrabtharsHammarWhatASavings]

www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/articles/4zw5Wg0F6czNqqQqPFmQzft/how-i-came-out-as-non-binary-to-my-parents

*"I had to think about how I was going to talk to mum and dad about it. I thought about how much I would have to explain, how many questions I still had unanswered about myself, and how dumb I was going to sound.

As luck would have it, almost at that very moment I got a podcast about my gender identity called NB commissioned. So I made all my insecurities and all my questions into a series. "*

Uh huh.

I do hope Caitlin will have another podcast commissioned in 10 years time when they're too old to look cool in silly glasses. After they've had a few kids and suddenly become invisible to society, and all their free time is spent being the default parent while their uber-woke partner continues to insist they're too special to stay home and help with the baby, and everyone is endlessly asking how they balance career and motherhood, judging them for staying home or using childcare, judging how they feed their baby, dismissing their opinions as a "silly mum". Or maybe they won't have children and will face all the discrimination and prejudice that comes with choosing not to use their female reproductive organs. And I do hope they'll use that podcast to update us all on just how silly the whole concept of sexual dimorphism turned out to be.

I'm old now, aren't I? This is what it feels like to be old.

That's a bit like having to tread on egg shells around a very 'delicate' person - who because of their delicacy exerts control over all of those around them.

Practically a definition of coercive control. Go over to the Relationships board to find out more.

The guilty western liberal conscience is in danger of caving in to what is essentially a demanding, narcissistic, & indeed, a totalitarian culture. Being played upon through a fear of not wanting to offend and wanting to be 'nice'. Like caving in to the toddler every time they throw a tantrum, and giving them what they think they want. The problem is a toddler is pre-rational and operates purely out of emotion and basic human drives.

Caving in to placate, appease or 'make happy' just creates an insatiable monster, with delusions of total control and power.

I've said it before and I'll say it again, i seriously think we need to start mass broadcasting the Freedom Programme since the western world (especially libfem/ left) seems to have become trapped in an abuse relationship with AWAs

Clearly coming out as gay... that person's life and their interaction with friends and family is going to be different

I'm in a happy monogomous relationship, why would finding out someone was gay mean I was going to interact with them any differently?

See, I'm 60. When I was a teenager and still living with my parents, I recall my mother saying more than once how disgusting she thought gay people were.

When I was 41 and had been married to a man for 13 years, I finally had the courage to admit to myself that I was gay. I've been with my female partner for almost 20 years now.

My mother died nearly two years ago and I never, ever had the courage to come out to her. She probably suspected, but the subject was never raised. I couldn't face her being 'disgusted' by me, you see.

That is the difference for some of us between coming out as gay and coming out as 'not conforming to presumed gender stereotypes which many people don't do anyway'.

And typing that made me fucking cry.

Vicky

Vicky - what’s really disgusting is that people are hitchhiking onto your experiences. I’m so sorry.

Thanks for your kind thoughts, Floral and Nowt.

It is, indeed, the "hitchhiking" that particularly annoys me. Not being able to be honest with my mother about the person I love (we got civil partnered in 2006, ffs) - that is what coming out (or not) represents for gay people.

Oh goodness vicky

I was talking to a friend whose son came out in his 20's

He told his mum that he was frightened to tell her in case he wasnt treated the same as his brother

My friend said that really hurts, the idea that he thought that...

My FIL admits he is homophobic, i dont think he can see ds1 in the same way as his other grandchildren

WRT hijacking your experience, kids don't know. My dd was in tears and shaking when she 'came out' to us. You know and I know that announcing your 'non-binary' identity is meaningless. But our teens have been gaslighted and deceived by all the crap on SM, all the self-referencing fear-mongering. They think it's a big deal, and lack the life-experience to truly understand.

It's the way the real grown-ups react that is offensive, those who should know better blow it all up out of proportion. Why on earth should an announcement of 'I don't follow gender norms and think myself somewhat special' merit a news article? Only if the article demonstrates how non-news and ordinary it is.

Almost as if some straight kids want the soap opera drama of coming out.

And by soap opera I mean a sanitised drama not the real life.

My FIL admits he is homophobic, i dont think he can see ds1 in the same way as his other grandchildren..

In which case he pig doesn't deserve contact with ANY of his grandchildren.

Almost as if some straight kids want the soap opera drama of coming out...

What makes you think these "non binary" kids are straight?

I don't.

Do you think it's possible that they are gay kids trying to manage homophobic parents?

for Vicky.

I meant to say the pig, but he pig actually works better!

Caitlin lost me, and any credibility Caitlin may have had, at the phrase "hazy, blue and dry in the way that only Sydney really can be."

Sydney is humid, humid, humid! I know, I've lived here for more years than I like to remember.