‘More acceptance’ of S&M needed

[Imnobody4]

talkradio.co.uk/news/more-acceptance-needed-sm-activities-19032230392
My morning isn't starting well. Haven't heard the programme - not sure I could stand it.

We've also covered a lot about Catholics lol.
Please no more talk about Catholic's 😂😂😂

It's absolutely ridiculous to conflate nipple removal with BDSM. What on earth??

Most women experiencing sexual violence don’t care whether or not it is classed as bdsm.
That's very insensitive. There are women experiencing sexual violence and abuse under the guise of BDSM, it has been pointed out several times in this thread. Who are being led to believe by abusers that what they are doing is BDSM, so it's ok. Posters here have tried their best to make the distinction. If a woman involved in an abusive relationship was to read this thread and there where only the view points of 'normal' people, she would come away from it with the exact same information her abuser had been giving her, that violent sex and abuse is a sex game....

Bankofenglandfiver

I'm a dominant - that means I'm in charge.

Hang on, I thought subs were the ones really in control, we've been told that in True BDSM they set the boundaries and could stop at any time...

The two are not being conflated.

The issue in the article is what forms of bodily harm can a person consent to. That makes the ear/nipple/tongue perpetrator relevant case law when cases involving sadomasochism go to court.

Did you read the OP’s article, Veronica?

Agirl, some sex games are violent sex and abuse.

Agirl, some sex games are violent sex and abuse.
Violent sex and abuse is never a game. And sex games are never ok if they are violent or abusive.

Did you miss the bit where I said within agreed limits and boundaries?

Then how come people are dying in these sex games?

Not in the sex I do. I’ve never killed anyone yet.

Would you say this was BDSM agirlhasnonameX?

www.ropeconnections.com/consensual-non-consent-play-rape-partner/ (trigger warning for rape) The woman is supposedly consenting and they'd both class it as BDSM.

What about this? A slave contract:

submissiveguide.com/dsrelationships/articles/sample-consensual-slavery-contract

People are dying when they’re abused. That is not acceptable.

Violent sex and abuse is never ever a game.

Bank, again, not about you.

Personally as I’ve already said I don’t ever condone consensual non consent and a slave contract is a load of nonsense. As I’ve already said.

Agirl, sex game gone wrong is being accepted as a defence in court.

That would be one of the major reasons why feminists have a concern over what violent acts people can consent to.

The I’m a dominant comment was directed at me by name. Am I not supposed to answer?

Erythronium

Those links are stomach-churning.

Bank, I meant the post where you said you had never killed anyone!

I was certainly not implying that you had.

Bankofengland
I hope you don't mind me saying this.
Earlier today I mentioned how many times people had said Dom/e's where all sadistic and abusive and yet there is one now on the thread who helps victims of abuse and does her best to prevent abuse. The answer was that (and I'm sorry for this) people who help abusers can be abusers too. And obviously of some people this can be true. But my point was, that you have asked 'should I stop helping people' and they have repeatedly said no we don't want you to stop.
I can't help but find it strange that if posters really feel Dom/e's are really just abusers, they would be encouraging them to work with and educate victims. It sort of makes me think people really don't think this way, but for some reason feel the need to pretend they do.
Sorry to include you in that but it's been bugging me.

Do you mean wouldn’t be?

While I am not suggesting Bank is in any way an abuser, there are plenty of cases where someone abuses one person and helps others.

Plenty of teachers, doctors , social workers etc perpetrate domestic violence.

Agirl, sex game gone wrong is being accepted as a defence in court.
Which is why the police need to know the difference. It's why they need to disassociate violent sex, rape and abuse with BDSM. It should never be an excuse.

But there is no magic line around bdsm.

You’ve decided to follow a particular set of rules that you have decided are moral and right and true and safe and good.

It doesn’t mean they apply to anyone other you and some friends, are agreed upon by anyone other than you and your friends, or are of any use as guidelines for the police.

What if the violent sex, rape and abuse comes under the BDSM banner though, like that "rape game" I just posted? Or the slave contract for that matter, which is obviously a contract for violence.

Yes sorry wouldn't be.
I am aware abusers can be the very people who help victims of abuse. But if by this threads definition Dom/e = abuser every time, then the Domme on this thread is an abuser and has been encouraged by lots of those same posters to continue working with victims, repeatedly. It just doesn't make sense to me, as if I believed whole heartedly someone was an abuser, I wouldn't tell them anything of the sort.

Because we can't prove consent when certain acts go wrong, maybe we should just ban acts that have the potential to cause serious harm.

If you engage in anything like that, and your partner gets hurt or killed then you are punished, consent is not relevant. It's the risk you take.