‘More acceptance’ of S&M needed

[Imnobody4]

talkradio.co.uk/news/more-acceptance-needed-sm-activities-19032230392
My morning isn't starting well. Haven't heard the programme - not sure I could stand it.

To be fair, anal is massively popular in non-BDSM porn too. It is really mainstream. And I don't think it has come from BDSM. It has been popular for years.

I hate the normalising of anal sex in porn, it makes it the norm rather than a fringe activity.

The difference between the normalising of anal sex in porn, and BDSM in porn, is that BDSM cannot be accurately portrayed with its emphasis on dynamics.

So whilst anal sex is always anal sex, BDSM porn is most often just violence. I condemn it wholeheartedly, as has everyone here who is into BDSM.

D/s. Not d/S that’s just all kinds of wrong 😂😂😂(joke)

I feel this could have been a really worthwhile topic. Unfortunately it has been taken over by a few people who want to make it about defending their sex lives and as such it's pointless. I'm going to go an read something else now!

It hinges on definitions. I. Know. I’m pedantic. But. Define sadistic activities.

My guess is they would not be happy and they would revile the BDSM/kink posters here as the Mary Whitehouses of their community

Brilliant

Maybe they would. They can jog on with their opinions. My opinion is that they are abusers. Cutting bits of a person's body off goes too far IMO. It's irreversible. Anyone wanting that done is clearly damaged, possibly with nihilistic psychosis. Therefore unable to consent.

No, you define it. It's in the bloody initials. You just want us to define it so you can say that's not what it means.

Not all hot wax is sadistic. Some can be sensual, albeit some is undoubtedly sadistic.

Electrics similarly. I trust my electric loving friend to put his kit on my bad hip - the relief is amazing it really helps.

Needles, I think are just bad news, dangerous but I have a friend who loves it, and is incredibly careful (only uses them once, sterile and thrown away in a sharps box)

To me, the S is submission, not sadism, because I’m not a sadist

I really have heard all I want to about other individuals sex lives. I am more concerned with harm and preconceptions about 'normal sex' and consent. Ooophs my mistake, could have happened to anyone.
When you make laws ask not what good men will do but what bad men will do.

the 1995 manslaughter case of R. v Slingsby,[6] consent was considered a valid defence, when a man wore a signet ring as he engaged in the act of inserting his entire fist into his sexual partner's vagina and anus,[3] which may cause pleasurable pain (algolagnia) for some women, as the homosexuals in the R. v Brown case were also acknowledged to be seeking sexual pleasure using painful acts (algolagnia); however, in R. v Slingsby,[6] the injury only became a fatal one by accident, with the prosecutor contending recklessness.[citation needed] Safety advice which is commonly available online includes advisories that during fisting sharp objects even smaller than a signet ring should be avoided, including long or sharp fingernails.[7].[8]

Ouch

So 92-95% of the people doing the tying up, dominating, humiliating and torturing in the BDSM community are men. Does the sexed nature of the activity not give you any pause for thought? Do you want to comment on the global subjection of women by men and its mirroring in BDSM or are you just going to make this about yourself?

You're a member of FetLife, I'm sure you must know what fetishising means.

The thread title says S&M. The fact that you chosen to interpret it differently because you're not into Sadism speaks volumes.

You honestly think 95% of bdsm is about torture?

You have no clue.

Literally no one said that.

Less acceptance, more education.
I’m horrified by what’s happened to mainstream porn and what young people are now being exposed to as a matter of course.
(And my sex live doesn’t change that)
The ‘extreme-ing’ of porn into violence is bad, bad news for girls and women. I doubt anyone here would disagree.
What do we do, though, bar increased education so teens are more ‘porn literate’? The cat can’t be put back in the bag.

The point was up to 95% of doms are male.

Imnobody4 Legally, inserting a fist into an orifice is not inherently assault in itself. So therefore, it can be consented to. The damage occured by accident but wasn't an intentional part of the proceedings.

If they had planned to use something sharp when fisting, then that is planning to assault, as they could reasonably have foreseen that damage would occur. As such, it couldn't be consented to because consent is no defence for assault.

The nuance is in the intention and the act itself not being inherently assaultative.

Ok then let's pretend no torture, tying up or humiliating happens in bdsm

95% of the people doing the dominating are men.
How can you not see how this is not good for women? That it isn't a liberation or progress but instead a mirror image of the society we live in now, not just reflecting it but propping it up as proof that it's what women want.

Part of living in a society is looking at your behaviours and asking yourself where these come from and if they are helpful or harmful to a wider society.
I enjoy lots of things that I have later decided don't help society so no longer do them.

Just because you enjoy something doesn't make it free from critique or inherently good.

Less acceptance, more education.

I agree with that.

Do you want to comment on the global subjection of women by men and its mirroring in BDSM or are you just going to make this about yourself?

What a rude way to ask someone a question! Whether you disagree or not with what someone does, there is no need to speak to them like that and be so hostile.

I'll bite......yes, the D/s balance between male and females does tend to reflect women's subjugation worldwide, doesn't it? And?

Thanks furry, you said exactly what I wanted to say but more calmly!

the D/s balance between male and females does tend to reflect women's subjugation worldwide, doesn't it? And?

That's important. From a feminist perspective.

That's not what I said is it?

But torture is involved in BDSM. On this thread alone we've heard about a woman strung up from a tree by two men; a woman abused and tied up with duct-tape by a man in a toilet at the Torture Garden; three people who died directly because of BDSM violence inflicted on them by men; and women brutalised by men using BDSM as the legitimation for their attacks. There's a pattern and its horrifying.

ApocalypseLaterOn
This is manslaughter- there is no evidence of consent beyond the perpetrator's word and the willingness to accept that as a reasonable assumption. This is the problem and is what is continually happening. A dead woman is assumed to have consented.

Feminists want it to stop, in all its forms. We don't want women hurt. We don't want men to hurt women. Men who hurt and dominate women are dangerous.