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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

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Original poster

Opting out of trans and LGB lessons

246 replies

SparklySneakers · 07/03/2019 17:00

My daughter is objecting to her school making her do LGBT sessions this month. She does not want to go to school for that week. She doesn't see why she has to learn about it, believes you can love whoever you want to love, be whoever you want to be but that you can't change sex.
Can see object or rather me on her behalf? Or maybe a better question is how I can get her to make the most of these sessions.

OP posts:
LangCleg · 13/03/2019 12:26

I'm not saying it is.

Yes, you are.

OldCrone · 13/03/2019 12:44

Sadly, schools are promoting an ideology when they state that to very young children that it is possible to be born in the wrong body.

For anyone in Wales there is currently a consultation on the teaching of sex and relationships education. The proposed curriculum is full of references to 'gender identity'.

You can normally take part in these consultations even if you're outside Wales.

beta.gov.wales/draft-guidance-relationships-and-sexuality-education

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/3516576-New-consultation-on-Relationships-and-Sexuality-Education-in-schools-in-Wales

Nobody is born in the wrong body.
Nobody can change sex.
The only reasons for teaching about 'gender identity' are either to reinforce gender stereotypes or to convince children that there is something wrong with their healthy bodies.

Why are teachers going along with this?

ForumGirl · 13/03/2019 12:52

@newlyfrugal it’s a different section 28 :-)

newlyfrugal · 13/03/2019 13:30

@ForumGirl can you link to it? I'm clearly being thick but can only find info on the repealed section 28! Thank you!

Original poster
SparklySneakers · 13/03/2019 17:17

HT is confused as to why she feels pressured, has totally ignored me saying I'm removing her for the week, and hopes she'll be in tomorrow! She has said the inappropriateness of the older students will be dealt with and was very firm in saying it would be addressed which is reassuring. I'm a bit baffled as to the rest of the issue being ignored though Hmm

OP posts:
TVandToast · 13/03/2019 17:33

*HT is confused as to why she feels pressured, has totally ignored me saying I'm removing her for the week

She's probably confused because it's not a common reaction, both your daughter being so stressed and you removing her. The school should try to work with your daughter to try to find out why she felt so anxious about the lessons in the first place and reassure her that the older students will be dealt with. I'm not sure what you want from the school but if you tell them an outcome you would be happy with, they may be accommodating.

R0wantrees · 13/03/2019 17:44

The school should try to work with your daughter to try to find out why she felt so anxious about the lessons in the first place and reassure her that the older students will be dealt with.

The school need to listen and understand a parent's reasons for deciding to remove their child.

At this point it seems that they have yet to do this.

This isn't about managing a child's anxiety.

Original poster
SparklySneakers · 13/03/2019 17:52

I asked the school to provide an alternative to being in these sessions so that she would not miss school. I said unless I was reassured on this provision then I was removing her for the week.

Ignored.

OP posts:
TVandToast · 13/03/2019 17:55

The school need to listen and understand a parent's reasons for deciding to remove their child.

Yes but it is the child who attends the school, not the parent. It is the child who will be missing school and having to catch up. The child is missing school because of the amount of stress that she has been under, starting with worrying about the lessons before they even began and then the stress caused when the older students made her feel uncomfortable. They've said the older students will be spoken to so now they need to help OPs daughter be able to feel less stressed, or at least that is what I would want for my child.

R0wantrees · 13/03/2019 17:58

Yes but it is the child who attends the school, not the parent. It is the child who will be missing school and having to catch up. The child is missing school because of the amount of stress that she has been under, starting with worrying about the lessons before they even began and then the stress caused when the older students made her feel uncomfortable

No, you have failed to understand the issues here.
Hopefully the school will.
This is a 12 year old pupil and working with parents is always best practice.

TVandToast · 13/03/2019 18:10

No, you have failed to understand the issues here.

I have read the thread. What have I failed to understand?

R0wantrees · 13/03/2019 18:21

I have read the thread. What have I failed to understand?

OP "My daughter is objecting to her school making her do LGBT sessions this month. She does not want to go to school for that week. She doesn't see why she has to learn about it, believes you can love whoever you want to love, be whoever you want to be but that you can't change sex."

This isn't about managing a 12 year old child's 'anxiety', 'stress', 'difficulty in group situations'

Many people of all ages know that humans can't change sex.
Its the rejection of ideology and understanding of material reality.

Children's boundaries are important.

truthisarevolutionaryact · 13/03/2019 18:32

Here you are OP - A Woman's Place has an excellent summary and has links to all the relevant legislation:

womansplaceuk.org/mixed-sex-toilets-ins-chools/

LordProfFekkoThePenguinPhD · 13/03/2019 18:33

And the fact that the school has taken external ‘advice’ on face value and that they have failed to grasp the basics of the equalities act.

TVandToast · 13/03/2019 18:42

R0wantrees

But OPs daughter would still know that people can't change sex even if they told her people could. Even with all the talk about LGBT on here, I've yet to actually hear someone say that their school is teaching that people can change their chromosomes. OP said the lesson was just about respect.

I don't think most 12 year olds would be so upset about this issue. It seems a very extreme reaction and if it was my child, I'd want to understand why.

R0wantrees · 13/03/2019 18:43

Claire Graham (SEN specialist) outlines the Safeguarding, policy and legal issues with Allsorts/Mermaids (pro-trans) guidance for schools & compares it with TRansgender TRend's school toolkit:

from 'Correcting A Blindspot' Leeds meeting August 2018

TVandToast · 13/03/2019 18:43

OP, did the school tell your daughter that people could change sex ?

I hope she's ok.

R0wantrees · 13/03/2019 18:45

I don't think most 12 year olds would be so upset about this issue. It seems a very extreme reaction and if it was my child, I'd want to understand why.

The OP is the parent.
This isn't about your feelings.

LordProfFekkoThePenguinPhD · 13/03/2019 18:48

I would have been especially if I was being asked if I was gay. My big sister is gay and we got bullied because of it - secondary school was about the time the bullying started for me.

Of course she’d be FekkoBro if we were kids now.

TVandToast · 13/03/2019 18:49

The OP is the parent. This isn't about your feelings

But it's important to find out why she feels so stressed out so that she can be helped going forward.

R0wantrees · 13/03/2019 18:56

But it's important to find out why she feels so stressed out so that she can be helped going forward.

Why are you so insistant that the central issue is the presumed 'stress' & 'anxiety' of the child?

TVandToast · 13/03/2019 19:17

*Why are you so insistant that the central issue is the presumed 'stress' & 'anxiety' of the child?

What do you think the central issue is? The LGBT lessons which were going to tell children that they can change sex and if a girl likes having short hair, she's a boy. You can't make that the central issue when it hasn't happened.

The central issue is the child, surely. There was a lesson on respect. Some older students asked her inappropriate questions. The school have said they will deal with that. The child is ill today, I think the OP said she believes it is from stress.

I would want to know why LGBT lessons worried my child so much before they even happened. My main concern would always be for my child.

RepealTheGRA · 13/03/2019 19:36

I think it’s probably the homophobic bullying that has upset the OP’s child.

HTH

TVandToast · 13/03/2019 19:46

I think it’s probably the homophobic bullying that has upset

The school have said they will deal with it. This sort of shit is common in schools. It's not right but whilst the school can try to stamp it out, they never will so it's in the child's interest to be able to cope with it. It's not right but I don't believe schools will ever be able to stop it completely. And when bullies know something bothers you, they will keep on. If they expel them, which is unlikely, there will be someone else.

The child was worried and not wanting to attend school before this incident. Homophobic bullying shows just how much these lessons are needed.

R0wantrees · 13/03/2019 19:50

The child was worried and not wanting to attend school before this incident. Homophobic bullying shows just how much these lessons are needed

The issue is with the content and the age-appropriateness of lessons.

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