Opting out of trans and LGB lessons

[SparklySneakers]

My daughter is objecting to her school making her do LGBT sessions this month. She does not want to go to school for that week. She doesn't see why she has to learn about it, believes you can love whoever you want to love, be whoever you want to be but that you can't change sex.
Can see object or rather me on her behalf? Or maybe a better question is how I can get her to make the most of these sessions.

Does she struggle in social situations or with fridndships usually?

Careful TVandtoast - sounds like you're saying it's OP's dd's fault...

She's 12 TVandToast. It helps if you read the thread.

Sparkly and your awesome DD. I'm dreading the onset of this pseudo-religious fake-inclusive-but-actually-bullying cant when my DDs move up to secondary school.

Careful TVandtoast - sounds like you're saying it's OP's dd's fault...

Not at all. I was wondering more if the teachers should have known to look out for her if she is a child they know struggles in group situations.

She was approached three times by older students not in her year or sessions. Students that have had this awareness week for at least 2 years. Respect lessons working well aren't they?!

Grr on your daughter's behalf. DS at 12 was repeatedly asked if he was gay, and not in a nice inclusive way -- 'You're so gaaaay, aren't you? Are you gaaaaay, KittyBoy?'

When we went to the school about it, they put their heads on one side and said 'And is he gay?'

I said we (and he) didn't know yet. They said in that case there was nothing they could do, as it wasn't homophobic bullying unless it was aimed at a gay child.

(Yes, I know this is bollocks.)

KittiesInsane, ooo, I'm steaming cross now - so much wrong with that attitude from the school, I don't know where to begin!

What is going on? How can we have got to situation where this kind of thing is going on in the name of inclusion, and fairness, and all that jazz?

It's a shame your daughter is missing school especially as the lesson was about respect. Was there a teacher around when your daughter was asked if she was gay? If she looked uncomfortable then a teacher should have stepped in if they realised but it's difficult to stop kids chatting amongst themselves. Probably a lot of kids would have answered though without it bothering them. Does she struggle in social situations or with fridndships usually?

Respect includes respect of boundaries.

It might well be difficult to stop kids chatting amongst themselves but a week long programme about respect should be tackling this. That's rather the point, don't you think? Unless, of course, you, like all the initiatives similar to this one at this school, completely ignores teaching girls to assert boundaries and others to respect them.

It was several years back, CaptainMarvel

And as I've mentioned before on here, I am so bloody glad that it was, because at the time he expressed a wish that he was a girl (so they would leave him to be him).

If he'd had assemblies and Woke Weeks earnestly telling him he could switch...

Well. Bullet dodged.

They said in that case there was nothing they could do, as it wasn't homophobic bullying unless it was aimed at a gay child.

It's homophobic bullying if the child is perceived to be gay or if 'gay' is being used as an insult or term of abuse. They don't seem to have understood their own training.

Not at all. I was wondering more if the teachers should have known to look out for her if she is a child they know struggles in group situations.

The issue isn't the 12 year old child.
Teachers need to be 'looking out' for older pupils who have not understood that respect is about other people's boundaries and age appropriate behaviour.

School have yet to get back to me. I'm also chasing the unisex loo, no impact assessment, issue with the education department of the council.

Respect lessons working well aren't they?!

Some children will never show respect to others but schools are pretty much powerless for the most part. All you can do is report it to the school and ask to be kept informed as to how it's been dealt with. If she knows the names of the students they should be spoken to if that's what your daughter wants.

Secondary schools are horrible places in my opinion, some kids don't show much respect to each other or teachers. Calling others gay is common, although not right. But it's really hard for the school to deal with it all, they try through holding lessons and assemblies but a bunch of 11-16 year olds are the toughest audience as it all about looking cool. I do think most kids would just deal with the comments your daughter got, I'm not saying that's right but it is happening all the time according to my son and other kids in my family. Comments about sexuality, offendive comments about family etc. It's just the culture of secondary schools, lots of 'banter' and offensive language, again, not right but I remember it being the same when I was there 20 years ago. My son would not want me to speak to the school over it as he'd find that embarrassing. If my child was really struggling then I would consider home schooling as I would worry what the tough environment of a secondary school would do to my child.

Lessons on respect will be taken on board by some children so I still think they are worthwhile. LGBT kids can have a really bad time too at school so having an understanding of the issues and prejudices they face is really important. I'd be encouraging her to go and also to have the confidence to say it's none of your business if asked questions she doesn't want to answer.

I hope your daughter is ok.

The issue isn't the 12 year old child.
Teachers need to be 'looking out' for older pupils who have not understood that respect is about other people's boundaries and age appropriate behaviour.

I'm not saying it is. If teachers see this type of behaviour upsetting another child they should deal with it. But teachers can't be everywhere. If teachers are told about it after they should deal with it then. This type of thing is really common though, that's the reason that these lessons are needed and hopefully some kids take it on board and think how their actions affect others.

Education officer unaware that equality act states separate toilet facilities over the age of 8

Education officer needs a new job then. Basic 101 equality act.

I've got to email school, quote the relevant section and copy him in. It's no good just to say the Equality act says blah blah blah it needs the section referencing apparently. Shouldn't they know this stuff??

I'd ask that last bit. Tell them to do their homework before talking the word of lobby groups. Ask if the BNP or EDL had been in with some enlightening leaflets and videos.

@ForumGirl

Section 28 was repealed in Scotland a long long time ago I believe.

It's no good just to say the Equality act says blah blah blah it needs the section referencing apparently.

The requirement for single sex toilets in schools is in the The School Premises (England) Regulations 2012 if you're in England. The previous act from 1999 applies in Wales (says the same thing).

I'm in England. I've had dd making use of her time by looking up those acts and seeing how they apply to this situation. She won't be idle. I could do with a good feminism book for her.

I thought unisex toilets are allowed in secondary schools as long as cubicles are fully enclosed? I've heard about schools having one opening without a door into the toilets. Boys enclosed cubicles on one side, girls enclosed cubicles on the other and communal sinks to help reduce bullying and vandalism. I'm sure I know someone who's child goes to a secondary with unisex toilets but will have to check.

Sadly, schools are promoting an ideology when they state that to very young children that it is possible to be born in the wrong body. In my opinion and many many others enraged at children being taught in effect, a split between their mind and body, which can and does lead some vulnerable children to later go on to gender dysphoria, for which the LGBT organisations promote puberty blockers for ever younger children. This despite the recent damning report on the NHS's only gender clinic, The Tavistock, that actually shows that puberty blockers, INCREASE gender dysphoria. It is NOT okay for schools to be teaching an ideology, not based in science or reality! Challenge it women! It is storing up troubles potentially, for these children. They believe what teachers tell them, and yet this in the instance of Trans - it is a LIE. You cannot change sex, and it is harmful to suggest otherwise because of the pathway that that sends children on, - a medicalised pathway, and for life.

As far as the equality act goes, if a male child is claiming to be transgender, he has the protected characteristic of gender reassignment and cannot be discriminated because of this compared to other boys. So a male-bodied child who claims to be transgender cannot be prevented from using the boys' toilets and a female-bodied child who claims to be transgender cannot be prevented from using the girls' toilets.

The TRAs who say that someone who claims to be transgender has instantly and magically changed sex are wrong.

Pretty sure non of the 11-16 year olds hold a GRC.