Transgender child at DD’s school. Please help me write to the head?

[Comeymemo]

DD attends an independent co-Ed British international school. We are in a jurisdiction that provides for protection against sex discrimination, including in education. This country has no protection against discrimination on the basis of gender, and only recognises transgender persons when the person has undergone full reassignment surgery (including sterilisation). In other words, there is no right to self gender identification where we live.

The school is split in houses, all of which are either all boys or all girls. The school has a mix of boarders and non boarders.

We recently received a letter from the head, saying that a male pupil will be moving to a girl’s house after half term as the pupil is transgender. The letter states that the pupil will use the unisex accessible toilet including to undress (eg for sports). The letter does not state if the pupil is a boarder.

I want to write to the school outlining my concerns and would welcome any help.

The areas where I would like to get reassurance are:

• confirmation that the pupil will not be allowed to compete against girls or to be in girls’ teams for any sports
• confirmation that the pupil will not be allowed to play female parts in any dramatic productions (DD is into sports and drama and I don’t think it fair that female roles should be given to boys, as male parts are never available to girls)
• confirmation that the school will never allow the pupil to board in a girls’ house or to have access to girls’ boarding houses
• confirmation that girls will never be allowed or expected to share a bedroom with the pupil on any overnight trip
• confirmation that the school are not altering their records to reflect the pupil’s so-called self-ID, so that the pupil remains listed as male
• confirmation that the pupil is not taking the place of any girl on any awards or recognition list, such as for school prefect, scholarships or prizes that are only available to girls.
• would it be reasonable to request that DD is not in the same house as that pupil?

At this stage I don’t want to engage into a broader debate with the school over human rights, feminist theory or GC theory, so I’m trying to stay as down to earth as possible and seek clarification on practical areas.

Is there anything else you can think of that would be relevant in this context? Please feel free to direct me to other threads if this has been done before.

Many thanks 🙏

What does it mean being a woman ?
Simple question

You haven’t answered question

At any point on this whole thread

Seriously - having different organs inner and outer than a male

Horrible thread. You honestly cannot fault people for accusing mumsnet of transphobia where you are asking for tips on how to make the life of one child worse. Kindness and compassion are human virtues that we should all embrace- feminism is not about the right to be nasty. The school has dealt with the changing and toilet issue, but the withholding of awards and wanting your daughter in a different house are just nasty.

Where has anyone been vile?

Something I really appreciate about Mumsnet is the debate. People, mainly women ask for an opinion, and ideas get thrown back and forth. On AIBU is can get pretty forthright, but on the whole posters listen and often take it on the chin when told they''re wrong. Or hold a position and argue their point. Except when it involve transgender, then apparently we are vile.

It's is so heart wrenching that children have become the front line in this whole trans gender madness.

Today I was Re-listening to an episode of the Feminist Current podcast where Megan Murphy talks with Heather Brunskill-Evans about transing children. It's a great listen.

itunes.apple.com/gb/podcast/feminist-current/id603245791?mt=2&i=1000410995166

RepealThe GRA,
Megan is right. Medication can and is prescribed for under 16s both privately and on the NHS.

fruit if you can’t see the problem with requesting that your daughter is moved out of the school house of a trans student then I think we’re on such different pages that there’s no point in trying to explain why I find that horrible.

Except when it involve transgender, then apparently we are vile

Did I say all? No. Some have concerns about self ID which is fair enough. No, my vile comment was to some who won't accept any trans.
Transphobia doesn't exist to some, as being trans isn't a thing in the first place.
It's a mental illness, or a sexual fetish (seen both on this thread alone)
so really not just making that up.
Plus the personal pile ons towards anyone thinking differently.
That's what I'm making the vile comment to.

Why can't boys play girls roles in drama (or vice versa)? I went to an all girls school and we often played boys roles - because there were no actual boys!

Horrible thread. You honestly cannot fault people for accusing mumsnet of transphobia where you are asking for tips on how to make the life of one child worse.
Couldn’t agree more. Requesting your child isn’t in their house??!! What a nasty outdated attitude.

Yes. What a horrible thread.

Nasty ladies banging on about safeguarding policies, nasty and heartlessly mentioning issues of privacy and fairness, nasty unkind feminists showing concern for the psychological pain of gender dysphoria in this young child.

And you all came together, to discuss these issues? Responding to each others comments with care?

It’s like you transphobe women are resisting accusations of bigotry, rather than rolling over and playing dead.

Cos women have been under-represented for years in plays apparently and not enough roles, but seeing as that's got nothing to do at all with safeguarding which is what the OP professes to be about - seems just another reason to exclude trans people.

Right- so these poor oppressed girls at what sounds like an expensive private boarding schools will have their rights violated by being in the same house as this child. Sure.

The safeguarding aspects have presumably been assessed by the school- hence the separate changing rooms. Is not wanting this kid to get awards or parts in the school play also because of safeguarding?

GlitterStick
It's a mental illness, or a sexual fetish (seen both on this thread alone)
so really not just making that up.

I know this is going to make you very sad but this is completely true.

Most parents would not want their kids to get caught up in the social contagion of rapid onset gender dysphoria. This happened to my friend and her beautiful daughter.

Please listen to the heartbreaking stories told by parents of children who have lost them to this phenomenon and have some compassion for them instead of shouting "vile" at parents for worrying about this. You are out of order doing this.

This is a tragedy for the families and all you can do is say these parents and those of us keen to see this brought into control are horrible. You are shockingly naive.

Right- so these poor oppressed girls at what sounds like an expensive private boarding schools will have their rights violated by being in the same house as this child. Sure.

Shit, sorry, I forgot that girls from wealthy families aren't allowed the right to privacy and safety from males

It took a while for me to realise that BigGoats post was being sarcastic, which says a lot I think!

I’m about 10 pages late but...

😂 Hamster got trans-ally-splained 😂

(Glad you’ve just been busy moving house, H. Whenever you don’t post for a while I worry that us nasty terfy-types have accidentally made you cease existing 🙊)

Most parents would not want their kids to get caught up in the social contagion of rapid onset gender dysphoria. This happened to my friend and her beautiful daughter.
So because you know one family, who you say got in a contagion of gender dysphoria, that automatically means they all are like that?

You are out of order doing this.

No, as you can't seriously think that just because you and your friend thought that the daughter didn't know what they were doing so therefore aren't legit trans means nobody else is legit too?

For everyone ranting about exclusion and how bigoted this is, it's not.

Males will never be female, females will never be male. I realise there are a bunch of you willing to pretend but there are far more people in the world that are never going to buy into this delusion, so get over it.

We are saying no to the encroachment of males into female life.

No means no. Yes males are excluded from female and females are excluded form male. No is not the start of a negotiation.

Teaching children that they are born in the wrong body is abusive. Abusing people that don't capitulate to this belief on here and elsewhere is unacceptable.

Glitter, everyone who says they are trans is legitimately trans, why are you talking about children not being "legit trans"?

that automatically means they all are like that?

Are you able to post without this ludicrous manipulation of peoples posts? Having read your posts I think not.

Glitter never ever answers the question
Just diverting the question