Transgender child at DD’s school. Please help me write to the head?

[Comeymemo]

DD attends an independent co-Ed British international school. We are in a jurisdiction that provides for protection against sex discrimination, including in education. This country has no protection against discrimination on the basis of gender, and only recognises transgender persons when the person has undergone full reassignment surgery (including sterilisation). In other words, there is no right to self gender identification where we live.

The school is split in houses, all of which are either all boys or all girls. The school has a mix of boarders and non boarders.

We recently received a letter from the head, saying that a male pupil will be moving to a girl’s house after half term as the pupil is transgender. The letter states that the pupil will use the unisex accessible toilet including to undress (eg for sports). The letter does not state if the pupil is a boarder.

I want to write to the school outlining my concerns and would welcome any help.

The areas where I would like to get reassurance are:

• confirmation that the pupil will not be allowed to compete against girls or to be in girls’ teams for any sports
• confirmation that the pupil will not be allowed to play female parts in any dramatic productions (DD is into sports and drama and I don’t think it fair that female roles should be given to boys, as male parts are never available to girls)
• confirmation that the school will never allow the pupil to board in a girls’ house or to have access to girls’ boarding houses
• confirmation that girls will never be allowed or expected to share a bedroom with the pupil on any overnight trip
• confirmation that the school are not altering their records to reflect the pupil’s so-called self-ID, so that the pupil remains listed as male
• confirmation that the pupil is not taking the place of any girl on any awards or recognition list, such as for school prefect, scholarships or prizes that are only available to girls.
• would it be reasonable to request that DD is not in the same house as that pupil?

At this stage I don’t want to engage into a broader debate with the school over human rights, feminist theory or GC theory, so I’m trying to stay as down to earth as possible and seek clarification on practical areas.

Is there anything else you can think of that would be relevant in this context? Please feel free to direct me to other threads if this has been done before.

Many thanks 🙏

aren't over half of trans identifying male prisoners sex offenders?

Most male to female transitioners are attracted to men/boys.

Where did you learn that fact? Most TRAs that I've seen on twitter are heterosexual males who claim to be lesbians.

I suspect that a lot of GC women are much more sympathetic to transwomen who are gay men.

How can a person be obviously a lesbian ffs

Maybe the same way that I've seen some posts on here reference looks as "obviously trans" or the charming one I saw a while back "brick shithouse?" (No I can't links/receipts as it quite rightly eventually got deleted)
Maybe she was wearing dungarees lol?! JOKE
How, though, can people automatically see it's a load of shit to say someone looks lesbian, but can't see that they're doing the same to transpeople?

this twisted belief that some straight pervy bloke is pretending to want to be a woman just to sneak into woman's changing rooms to catch a glimpse of their bodies. Its ridiculously far fetched
The woman in there assisting was quite obviously a lesbian.
Most male to female transitioners are attracted to men/boys. And vice versa. Do you really see this child as a threat to your child's safety?

This is like performance art.

You honestly think that spotting a bloke is the same as spotting a lesbian GlitterStick?

To be clear, I have no desire to know who the pupil is or to access his record. But if the school is altering their records to show him as female, they would be breaching the law as it is not possible to self ID where we live.

It would also be a safeguarding issue. For instance, if the class has a supply teacher who doesn’t know about that pupil, and he is listed as female, there could obviously be potential issues with his having accidental access to female spaces.

aren't over half of trans identifying male prisoners sex offenders?

I remember reading that somewhere too. Can't find the source though.

I wonder what proportion of the men's prison population are sex offenders?

Did you read what hamster wrote glitter ?

I think that yes a person can feel like they are born in the wrong body, detest the sight of there genitals because they feel they should have the opposite. So yes born in the wrong body.

By having a sex change you can't magically implant a womb or produce sperm but you can change sex and be happy.

And not all men are physically stronger than women. A transgender teen who wants to change into a woman is less likely to have been working out.

Mister 80,000 men in prison, 12,000 are sex offenders. So not half, by a country mile (obviously I can't do percentages, not even with a calculator).

Wow @limpbizkit I don't even know where to start with your post, so I don't think I will bother to be honest!

I think that yes a person can feel like they are born in the wrong body, detest the sight of there genitals because they feel they should have the opposite. So yes born in the wrong body.

Feeling like you have been born in the wrong body and actually being born in the wrong body, are two very different things.

You must surely know that?

aren't over half of trans identifying male prisoners sex offenders?

It's more than half but it's sex offenders and/or Category A prisoners.

fairplayforwomen.com/transgender-prisoners/

There are about 80k male prisoners, of whom about 12k are sex offenders.

Haha rocky yeps

ivegonegrey hating your body and wishing it was other doesn't mean you feel like the opposite sex, it just means you hate the body you have. And every cell in your body is sexed, so no, simply having surgery and taking hormones is simply surgically altering your body externally and altering your hormonal make up, it doesn't change your sex.

Men don't need to work out to be stronger than women. Look at Serena Williams, an extremely powerful athlete. She reckoned it would take Andy Murray 30 minutes to beat her 6-0 6-0. Both world number 1 at the time she said it.

RiverTam certainly makes for an interesting comparison.

doesn't it just.

And not all men are physically stronger than women. A transgender teen who wants to change into a woman is less likely to have been working out.

So let's get rid of safeguarding?

@glitter. OK we can all pretend that this woman in question in the changing rooms was a boy like lady with a crew cut and a rainbow tattoo who's mannerisms were rather masculine was a straight woman but I made an educated guess that she was a lesbian. Keep it real! It's not an insult to make that assumption. Oh yes the rare exceptions to the rule... Yes they exist of course. So OK let's assume this confused boy that's now going to be living his life as girl is a predatory sexual monster. OK live your lives like that. Meh.

And not all men are physically stronger than women. A transgender teen who wants to change into a woman is less likely to have been working out.

Is that so?

It's irrelevant whether a male teen has been working out or not.

I have a teen at home and he significantly taller and stronger than me despite being quite a skinny young chap. His peer group of girls certainly wouldn't be much of a match physically.

The born in the wrong body is often mentioned, usually as a dismissive statement. I'm sure I read a scientific document by a neurologist that showed brain patterns (excuse my lack of using the correct term) in lets say genetic women move PREDOMINANTLY between left hemisphere to right hemisphere, where as a male brain is frontal to rear, or something like that. I will see if i can find the article. It basically explained one reason why women think more with there emotions & men with logic. Anyway, the same neurologist performed studies of the brain patterns in young people who were gender dysphoric for want of a better term, and the boys who felt more female had very similar brain patterns than genetic women and not like the male brain. This finding sort of adds biological substance to this question & probably goes someway to explaining it, and why it is so hard for someone in that situation to find adequate words to describe it.

Did you read what hamster wrote glitter

Yes, I did.

OK we can all pretend that this woman in question in the changing rooms was a boy like lady with a crew cut and a rainbow tattoo who's mannerisms were rather masculine was a straight woman but I made an educated guess that she was a lesbian. Keep it real! It's not an insult to make that assumption.!

Sorry, but what on earth has the fact this woman was a lesbian in a changing room got to do with anything? Do lesbians have a long and irrefutable track record of committing crimes against women or something?

It basically explained one reason why women think more with there emotions & men with logic

This thread is gold.