Cosmopolitan - Bleeding after anal sex

[ItsAllGoingToBeFine]

""It's not unexpected that [anal sex] would cause bleeding." Does that mean you should never put anything up your butt hole? No! It just means you need to take some extra precautions, like, say, a little thing called a shit-ton of lube"

"It's not a sprint, it's a marathon back there. And you want to make to the finish line without any bleeding or discomfort."

FFS

www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/amp9230630/is-bleeding-after-anal-sex-normal/?__twitter_impression=true

Im going to get told off for telling the truth now, just you wait!

OOOH you thikn highly of yourself etc etc

It was long ago enough that I can look back with some distance though!

As someone once said to me "that hole is for things to go down not up."
I stand by that and if anyone saw what comes down mine they certainly wouldn't want to go up it!

But back to the article... when I read Cosmo in the hairdressers now I just despair.

Nothing your experience is normal. I just hope things change back before my child grows up, the alternative is sickening.

Yes, nothing it is what is know round these here parts as a stealth boast. So you think highly of yourself. Just imagine what you would think of a man who went about saying "I'm so attractive that women were just thrilled beyond words to see my cock"

But of course, it's different for them eh ?

Anyway, I don't see how encouraging young people to start their sex lives from the premise that they are god's gift to the opposite sex (like you) is a great idea.

This article is about the practicalities of a sex act you find "unnatural".

Nothing - your experiences sound very much like mine. I want my DD to have similarly mutually satisfying and enjoyable experiences, not feel coerced into doing things that could damage her for life

I don't understand why me honestly reporting how lots of men behaved when I was young has upset you so much.

I did not exect that behaviour nor seek it out

Surely you should be angry with the young men for behaving that way
Not with me for being honest

Other posters agree that was the same for them
A lot of blokes are lovely but they have to fight against ever more extreme media instruction around what a 'real' man is like and how he treats women.

& if it was a boast it was hardly stealth!

Elon I want to know why you believe articles on sex education need not contain anything about consent or protection.

Where have I said anal sex is unnatural!???

You're making things up now. :D

Each to their own but loved the comment about the guys going first and not a lot of takers hey they might have the best orgasm of their life !!

@ElonMask what is wrong with reminding girls/young women that they don't have to do anything they don't want to?

Surely that should be foremost in any discussion of sex and sexual practices whether mainstream or niche. Genuine and freely given continuing consent from both parties is the most important consideration.

No one should be made to feel guilty or abnormal for saying no, whatever the reason.

This becomes more important the more risky the activity not less so therefore it is disgraceful that a magazine like cosmopolitan isn't ramming home the consent message.

Just to put this out there: on a very regular basis, my husband gets called in to the emergency department to fix (he's a surgeon) anal/rectal trauma. On both men and women. Gay, straight. From penises or toys, as well as other random foreign objects. Often, repairs result in a temporary colostomy. YES. Pooping in a bag taped to your abdomen. Hopefully, the colostomy can be reversed when the rectum (or colon) is healed, but this isn't always the case... The tissue of the rectum (anus is the term for the opening, very last portion, but penetration often hurts the rectum) is incredibly fragile and delicate.

ANYONE engaging in penetration to the anus has to know that perforation and subsequent surgery is a genuine risk. Informed consent. There is nothing prudish about wanting to preserve your normal anatomy and physiology and women should be empowered to say HELL NO.

Jeez Elon
What are you on about ffs
It’s an article about bleeding and tearing and how to minimise that
Nobody was stealth boasting whatever the fuck that means

Have boys changed so much? And this will be teenagers surely? I found young men rather shy and desperate not to cross any consent boundaries or to risk physically hurting you. They were sweet and fumbling back in the 80s.

The wider context of your objection to the article is that young women are held up to unrealistic and unattainable standards.

Your "contribution" to this is to say that this has never happened to me, but then again I am a rare beauty and all the men that I've had sex, and there have been many, have been eternally thankful for the opportunity to demonstrate me naked just the way nature intended !

If you are having sex with someone who doesn't feel excited about it or consider themselves lucky to have you, then what's they point. Making out that your experience might be uncommon by today's standards and possibly down to your spectacular attractiveness is a bit off.

Thank you George Fayne for pointing out the consequences that can arise with anal sex.

It’s an article about bleeding and tearing and how to minimise that

Ok. Useful information for those who enjoy or want to try anal sex ? I used to think I was a pretty negative about the modern world and the "good" of today, but I've got nothing on you lot who seem to think most young people today no longer experience the thrill of lust for their peers thanks to the internet.

Fuck sake "good" is meant to say "yoof" and i corrected it twice.

Jeez Elon what’s with you attacking ppl
Want to,start a thread on crack on

What ?

Lol Elon. Keep trying.

The word Grateful seems to have set people off.
But I get what is meant, I had similar experiences I the 90s. Guys were happy when someone slept with them, and a kind of camaraderie was common.

Not too look back with Rose tinted glasses. There were plenty of pushy men then too, as ever. But no normal man would expect pain or blood or revulsion.

Maybe it's the same n o w and the normal guys still don't. Just there might be less of them, going by the stats.

Elon you are spectacularly missing the point. What she was pointing out is that 20 or 30 years ago, before men were drenched in porn, it was enough to be an attractive young woman. A man you went to bed with was delighted to be there with you because you were a real human being and that was what he was expecting. He had not been saturated and numbed with countless images of hairless genitalia, choking, slapping, hair pulling, double penetration and ejaculating on women's faces. Therefore he was more likely to be respectful and treat you like a person. Elon is not claiming any great specialness, I could have written her post. Your posts depress me frankly.

Eh ? Ok I'll leave you to your "discussion" about how young men today are all "ruined" and how in your day they were just glad to get with a woman, which lets face it, all men should be. Especially if you are hot, like me. Oh by the way does anyone know why other women feel under pressure to be the sort of women men's eyes pop out at ?

Insightful stuff.

Correction, I meant Nothingontelly there, not Elon in the last bit

This is 100% grooming. It's not a subtle attempt to tell girls anal is too much of a faff at all, it's an attempt to normalize it and persuade them to disregard worrying side effects as normal. Sex shouldn't make you bleed. If it does that's a problem.

Also I've noticed a trend for articles grooming young women into accepting anal to insist that all sex requires lube, and it's just that anal requires a bit more of it. I am 45 and have never needed lube. Post menopause maybe? Don't know yet. But if you women need lube for vaginal sex then chances are they're just not aroused enough to be having sex, so articles like this are normalizing that too.

And agreed with everyone else that the "discussion of anal and/or choking here, attempt to shame anyone who says they'd rather not!" batsignal really does seem to be a thing. Maybe people have a Google alert set up?

If young women need lube. Not you women, before anyone claims that I'm persecuting them.